April 14, 2018
The Carpenters "Song Rainy Days And Mondays" talks about feeling down. I don't know about you, but at work I changed Monday to "Moanday" since that is what most of us do. Usually we turn it around, make a joke, and then get over the fact we have a long week ahead until another short time off.
Another part of the song is "talking to myself" which is something most of us do a lot more often than we want to admit. There are things we tell ourselves all the time, yet sometimes it is good thought, other times, terrible ones. It is really great that as long as you hold you thoughts, no one will ever judge what you think. The problem is, they also do not know how you feel.
What are you saying to yourself? Do you tell yourself you are a survivor or do you wonder why you lived? Do you tell yourself that what you tried to do was something wonderful, or do you tell yourself you do not deserve to be alive?
The expression "you are your own worst enemy" is because all too often we tell ourselves that we're terrible and then we manage to prove it. When you have PTSD, it is worse because at the same time you need the people closest to you, you push them away.
Don't you think it may be time to stop putting negative thoughts into your brain and clear out all the crap you've been putting into it?
Think of your brain like the engine of your car.
Your Mechanic explains how your engine can get clogged.
"Fuel injectors deliver fuel into the cylinder for combustion. Clogged fuel injectors can be caused by debris or impurities in the fuel. Fuel injectors are responsible for getting fuel into the engine. ... The fuel is then ignited and the engine keeps on moving."
All the negative thoughts you put into the thing that drives you stops it from moving in the right direction. It doesn't matter how strong your body is if you don't have fuel to power it. It doesn't matter how smart you are if you're stupid enough to let the impurities invade your brain.
Doubt, fear, anger, paranoia, hatred of others and hating what you believe you turned into, leave little room for all the good stuff to get in.
You stay stuck. If it goes on too long, then you end up with a broken engine that could have been powering healing.
When social media decided that talking about veterans committing suicide was a hot topic, they managed to add all the bad outcomes and none of the good. It is like using the wrong grade of gas to power your ride.
You will not achieve the advertised horsepower on a vehicle that requires premium unless you use premium, although most consumers will not even notice the change in power when switching from premium to regular. True CarYou are not "most consumers" when it comes to dealing with trauma. You not only faced what most of us do, you decided to risk your life when others were in danger. You need premium fuel to help you get from where you are to where you need to be.
Thinking about how having PTSD means you were too weak to take it, feeds the stigma idiots put there. Shut out that thought because it is nothing more than a speed bump to your healing.
It took a lot of strength to enter into the service you chose to do. You had to be mentally and physically tough to make it through training. You had to be even tougher to be ready to do your job and even stronger to do it day after day.
Today is the day for you to lift your hood and take a look inside. Check your engine to see what your owners manual calls for. If you are not taking care of your mind (engine) your body and your spirit, then you are turning in your ride into something worth scrapping. Time to restore the damage done so you can go down every road until you get the antique plate you'll be proud of!