Saturday, October 31, 2020

PTSD Patrol Doesn't have to be Halloween everyday

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
October 31, 2020




If you watched the older videos you remember Murray and this was taken of him early this morning..... The last thing you need is a scary movie. You live one every day of the year. You already know what it feels like to look into dark shadows and see things that are no longer there.

Today's video is The Carpenters Rainy Days and Mondays, because everyone knows what it is like to have sad days. The part of the song to focus on is "fitting in" and "belonging" because if that is what you are trying to do with people who have no clue what you're going through, then you need to stop trying and start finding where you do fit in and belong. You are still you in there and have a lot to offer others but you won't be able to show them if you are spending all your time trying to be what you are not.

YOU HAVE PTSD but that does not mean it has you. It does not have to dictate your future and you have the power to heal.

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD



Talkin' to myself and feelin' old
Sometimes I'd like to quit
Nothin' ever seems to fit
Hangin' around
Nothin' to do but frown
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down
What I've got they used to call the blues
Nothin' is really wrong
Feelin' like I don't belong
Walkin' around
Some kind of lonely clown
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down
Funny, but it seems I always wind up here with you
Nice to know somebody loves me
Funny, but it seems that it's the only thing to do
Run and find the one who loves me (the one who loves me)
What I feel has come and gone before
No need to talk it out (talk it out)
We know what it's all about
Hangin' around (hangin' around)
Nothin' to do but frown
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down
Funny, but it seems that it's the only thing to do (only thing to do)
Run and find the one who loves me (ooh)
What I feel has come and gone before
No need to talk it out (to talk it out)
We know what it's all about
Hangin' around (hangin' around)
Nothin' to do but frown
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down
Hangin' around (hangin' around)
Nothin' to do but frown
Rainy days and Mondays always get
Me down

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Paul H. Williams / Roger S. Nichols
Rainy Days and Mondays lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group


as proised...Thriller

Friday, October 30, 2020

PTSD Patrol You're Still You

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
October 30, 2020

"Through the darkness I can see your light." Did you know that the origins of that inner light are all still within you? You may think that the darkness you're been living with since PTSD moved in, is something you will never escape and it killed off everything that was good inside of you, but it is all still there.

Today the feature video is Josh Groban You're Still You because that is a message that anyone with PTSD needs to hear. It is something that I told my husband at least a thousand times over the years. He thought it had all died until he started to heal and was able to see himself again.

I often think about why so many events in my own life did not cause the same level of damage in me that he was going through. Mine began when I was so young that it ended up making me even more connected to who I was inside. There were so many times when I allowed myself to be beaten down by what others thought about me, until I noticed that the only power they had over me, was what I was willing to give them. I was still me...only stronger because of it, so I knew he was still him behind that wall of pain he had been building over the years.

All the things that made you "you" are all still there too. You just need some help finding yourself again.

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD



Through the darkness
I can see your light
And you will always shine
And I can feel your heart in mine
Your face I've memorized
I idolize just you
I look up to
Everything you are
In my eyes you do no wrong
I've loved you for so long
And after all is said and done
You're still you
After all
You're still you
You walk past me
I can feel your pain
Time changes everything
One truth always stays the same
You're still you
After all
You're still you
I look up to
Everything you are
In my eyes you do no wrong
And I believe in you
Although you never asked me to
I will remember you
And what life put you through
And in this cruel and lonely world
I found one love
You're still you
After all
You're still you

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Ennio Morricone / Linda Thompson 

Thursday, October 29, 2020

PTSD Patrol You're All I Need

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
October 29, 2020


"You're all I need to get by" would be so nice to hear again but for far too many, they feel as if they cannot do anything for anyone, especially if they are dealing with PTSD. It causes inspiration and hope to be crushed. How can you think you can mean anything to anyone, if you don't think you matter?

Look at the people in your life and know that you do matter. Remember how much they mean to you and what things were like before you transformed from what a world where you knew what "normal" was like, and it all spun out of control. 

There was a time when I didn't think my husband I were going to make it another week, yet we're still together after 38 years...we met in 1982. There was a time when he didn't believe he deserved to be happy again, until he finally knew why he did.

I think back to times in my own life when people showed me I mattered, even when I didn't want to even get out of bed. When they were happy to see me walk through the door, when I didn't even want to go there. Little by little, people decided to lift someone else up because it made them feel good inside. It sure as hell feels a lot better than trying to knock someone down.

A lot of people I know have been posting about how they feel used up. They do good for other people, yet what they did was not appreciated at all. I tell them to keep doing good because that wonderful feeling they get inside, is their reward. If it is taken for granted, then, it is the other person's responsibility. I forgive them, shake the dust off my feet and walk away. It does not stop me from doing good for someone else. That is what love is.

I try to remember that in everything I do and you should too! 

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD




Here is a story about what it means to be part of a miracle.
Stephan Wenz October 17 at 12:35 AM
DID GOD RIDE THE BROOKLYN SUBWAY

Marcel Sternberger was a methodical man of nearly 50, with bushy white hair, guileless brown eyes, and the bouncing enthusiasm of a czardas dancer of his native Hungary. He always took the 9:09 Long Island Railroad train from his suburban home to Woodside, N.Y.., where he caught a subway into the city.

On the morning of January 10, 1948, Sternberger boarded the 9:09 as usual. En route, he suddenly decided to visit Laszlo Victor, a Hungarian friend who lived in Brooklyn and was ill.

Accordingly, at Ozone Park, Sternberger changed to the subway for Brooklyn, went to his friend’s house, and stayed until midafternoon. He then boarded a Manhattan-bound subway for his Fifth Avenue office. Here is Marcel’s incredible story:

The car was crowded, and there seemed to be no chance of a seat. But just as I entered, a man sitting by the door suddenly jumped up to leave, and I slipped into the empty place. I’ve been living in New York long enough not to start conversations with strangers. But being a photographer, I have the peculiar habit of analyzing people’s faces, and I was struck by the features of the passenger on my left. He was probably in his late 30s, and when he glanced up, his eyes seemed to have a hurt expression in them. He was reading a Hungarian-language newspaper, and something prompted me to say in Hungarian, “I hope you don’t mind if I glance at your paper.”

The man seemed surprised to be addressed in his native language. But he answered politely, “You may read it now. I’ll have time later on.”

During the half-hour ride to town, we had quite a conversation. He said his name was Bela Paskin. A law student when World War II started, he had been put into a German labor battalion and sent to the Ukraine. Later he was captured by the Russians and put to work burying the German dead. After the war, he covered hundreds of miles on foot until he reached his home in Debrecen, a large city in eastern Hungary.

I myself knew Debrecen quite well, and we talked about it for a while. Then he told me the rest of his story. When he went to the apartment once occupied by his father, mother, brothers and sisters, he found strangers living there. Then he went upstairs to the apartment that he and his wife once had. It also was occupied by strangers. None of them had ever heard of his family.

As he was leaving, full of sadness, a boy ran after him, calling “Paskin bacsi! Paskin bacsi!” That means “Uncle Paskin.” The child was the son of some old neighbors of his. He went to the boy’s home and talked to his parents. “Your whole family is dead,” they told him. “The Nazis took them and your wife to Auschwitz.”

Auschwitz was one of the worst Nazi concentration camps. Paskin gave up all hope. A few days later, too heartsick to remain any longer in Hungary, he set out again on foot, stealing across border after border until he reached Paris. He managed to immigrate to the United States in October 1947, just three months before I met him.

All the time he had been talking, I kept thinking that somehow his story seemed familiar. A young woman whom I had met recently at the home of friends had also been from Debrecen; she had been sent to Auschwitz; from there she had been transferred to work in a German munitions factory. Her relatives had been killed in the gas chambers. Later she was liberated by the Americans and was brought here in the first boatload of displaced persons in 1946.

Her story had moved me so much that I had written down her address and phone number, intending to invite her to meet my family and thus help relieve the terrible emptiness in her life.

It seemed impossible that there could be any connection between these two people, but as I neared my station, I fumbled anxiously in my address book. I asked in what I hoped was a casual voice, “Was your wife’s name Marya?”

He turned pale. “Yes!” he answered. “How did you know?”

He looked as if he were about to faint.

I said, “Let’s get off the train.” I took him by the arm at the next station and led him to a phone booth. He stood there like a man in a trance while I dialed her phone number. It seemed hours before Marya Paskin answered. (Later I learned her room was alongside the telephone, but she was in the habit of never answering it because she had so few friends and the calls were always for someone else. This time, however, there was no one else at home and, after letting it ring for a while, she responded.)

When I heard her voice at last, I told her who I was and asked her to describe her husband. She seemed surprised at the question, but gave me a description. Then I asked her where she had lived in Debrecen, and she told me the address.

Asking her to hold the line, I turned to Paskin and said, “Did you and your wife live on such-and-such a street?”

“Yes!” Bela exclaimed. He was white as a sheet and trembling.

“Try to be calm,” I urged him. “Something miraculous is about to happen to you. Here, take this telephone and talk to your wife!”

He nodded his head in mute bewilderment, his eyes bright with tears. He took the receiver, listened a moment to his wife’s voice, then suddenly cried, “This is Bela! This is Bela!” and he began to mumble hysterically. Seeing that the poor fellow was so excited he couldn’t talk coherently, I took the receiver from his shaking hands.

“Stay where you are,” I told Marya, who also sounded hysterical. “I am sending your husband to you. We will be there in a few minutes.”

Bela was crying like a baby and saying over and over again. “It is my wife. I go to my wife!”

At first I thought I had better accompany Paskin, lest the man should faint from excitement, but I decided that this was a moment in which no strangers should intrude. Putting Paskin into a taxicab, I directed the driver to take him to Marya’s address, paid the fare, and said goodbye.

Bela Paskin’s reunion with his wife was a moment so poignant, so electric with suddenly released emotion, that afterward neither he nor Marya could recall much about it. “I remember only that when I left the phone, I walked to the mirror like in a dream to see if maybe my hair had turned gray,” she said later. “The next thing I know, a taxi stops in front of the house, and it is my husband who comes toward me. Details I cannot remember; only this I know—that I was happy for the first time in many years..... “Even now it is difficult to believe that it happened. We have both suffered so much; I have almost lost the capability to not be afraid. Each time my husband goes from the house, I say to myself, “Will anything happen to take him from me again?”

Her husband is confident that no horrible misfortune will ever again befall the. “Providence has brought us together,” he says simply. “It was meant to be.”

Skeptical persons will no doubt attribute the events of that memorable afternoon to mere chance. But was it chance that made Marcel Sternberger suddenly decide to visit his sick friend and hence take a subway line that he had never ridden before? Was it chance that caused the man sitting by the door of the car to rush out just as Sternberger came in? Was it chance that caused Bela Paskin to be sitting beside Sternberger, reading a Hungarian newspaper'

Was it chance—or did God ride the Brooklyn subway that afternoon'

Paul Deutschman, Great Stories Remembered, edited and compiled by Joe L. Wheeler


You're all I need to get by.
Like the sweet morning dew, I took one look at you,
And it was plain to see, you were my destiny.
With my arms open wide,
I threw away my pride
I'll sacrifice for you
Dedicate my life for you
I will go where you lead
Always there in time of need
And when I lose my will
You'll be there to push me up the hill
There's no, no looking back for us
We got love sure 'nough, that's enough
You're all, You're all I need to get by.
You're all I need to get by.
Like an eagle protects his nest, for you I'll do my best,
Stand by you like a tree, dare anybody to try and move me
Darling in you I found
Strength where I was torn down
Don't know what's in store but together we can open any door
Just to do what's good for you and inspire you a little higher
I know you can make a man out of a soul that didn't have a goal
Cause we, we got the right foundation and with love and determination
You're all I want to strive for and do a little more
All, all the joys under the sun wrapped up into one
You're all I need
You're all I need
You're all I need to get by.

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Valerie Simpson / Nickolas Ashford
You're All I Need to Get By lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC 

Wednesday, October 28, 2020

PTSD Patrol here in the land of hope and dreams

PTSD Pattol
Kathie Costos
October 28, 2020

If anyone is telling you that you cannot have a happier life...they are lying to you. Some people want to just take hope away because it makes them feel better about themselves.

If anyoe is telling you that you deserve to be miserable...they are lying to you. Some people want to make sure that if they are not happy, no one else is.

I get so tired of hearing people say all kinds of things to push people down instead of help them up. I know in my own life, everytime I was losing the ability to see any hope, someone came along to make me feel better, and give me hope that things would be better. They help me feel better because it helped them feel better doing it. Even now, I feel better doing whatever I can to make life better for people I don't know. It is healing for me. If it wasn't, then I would still be doing it after almost 40 years.

Today, the feature video is Bruce Springsteen LAND OF HOPE AND DREAMS

That is where you are right now. There is no time to sit back and work on hiding your pain, because you need to be working on healing and being happier, There is no time to feel sorry you survived when you need to be helping someone else heal too. That is how it works in this world of hope and dreams.

We are here to help build futures, not leave someone stuck in the past. You cannot change a damn thing that happened before right now, but you can change what comes in the next moment.

The question is, which kind of person do you want to be? The kind who wants someone else to be miserable because you are, or do you want to be the kind of person who wants to help someone to feel better about themselves...because it makes you feel better too?

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD





Oh oh this train, I'm riding this train
Don't you wanna ride 
(This train)
Oh get on, get on (this train)
Grab your ticket and your suitcase
Thunder's rolling down the tracks
You don't know where you're goin' now
But you know you won't be back
Darlin' if you're weary
Lay your head upon my chest
We'll take what we can carry
And we'll leave the rest
Where sunlight streams
Meet me in a land of hope and dreams
I will provide for you
And I'll stand by your side
You'll need a good companion
For this part of the ride
Leave behind your sorrows
Let this day be the last
Tomorrow there'll be sunshine
And all this darkness past
Big wheels roll through fields
Where sunlight streams
Meet me in a land of hope and dreams
This train carries saints and sinners
This train carries losers and winners
This train carries whores and gamblers
This train carries lost souls
I said, this train dreams will not be thwarted
This train faith will be rewarded
This train hear the steel wheels singin'
This train bells of freedom ringin'
This train carries saints and sinners
This train carries losers and winners
This train carries whores and gamblers
This train carries lost souls
I said, this train carries broken-hearted
This train thieves and sweet souls departed
This train carries fools and kings
This train, all aboard
I said, this train dreams will not be thwarted
This train faith will be rewarded
This train hear the steel wheels singin'
This train bells of freedom ringin'
Come on this train
People get ready
You don't need no ticket
All you got do is just get on board 
On board this train
This train, people get ready
You don't need no ticket (oh I know you don't)
You don't need no ticket you just get on board (people get ready) 
You just thank the Lord (people get ready)
Come on this train (people get ready)

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Bruce Springsteen / Curtis Mayfield
Land of Hope and Dreams lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner Chappell Music, Inc 


Bruce Springsteen and The E Street Band - Land of Hope and Dreams (Live in New York City)

Tuesday, October 27, 2020

PTSD Patrol what is on your next page?

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
October 27, 2020

All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,


Did you know that the story of your life will never stop being written? Everyone you touch, will touch others. Everything you do, will change others.

We live in very trying times in this country. Turmoil and adversity, suffering, misery and fears, but people have gone through dark days before. It makes me wonder if the Founding Fathers ever envisioned what their vision of a "more perfect union" would become? It shows that as much as they thought about what they were doing, it is hard to imagine how their lives would still matter to all of us. The book on their lives is still being written. So is yours.

Today the feature video is Bob Seger Turn The Page. We keep changing the story of our lives everyday. New chapters are written all the time. In the process of writing ours, we keep writing in the book of our parents lives.

When you survived whatever caused PTSD to become part of your story, it began rewriting the chapter you were living with. All the other chapters, fed off that one.

The thing is, if you decide to change the chapters from this point on, then you control how the rest of your story goes. How do you want to leave those you care about? Do you want to leave them with warm memories knowing you did everything possible to be the best you could be, make a good difference for their sake and take the power you have to change for the better? Or do you want to leave them with a story that has no ending, no peace and endless questions you will never be able to answer?

You control what is on the next page and the page after that.

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD



TURN THE PAGE
On a long and lonesome highway
East of Omaha
You can listen to the engine
Moanin' out his one note song
You can think about the woman
Or the girl you knew the night before
But your thoughts will soon be wandering
The way they always do
When you're ridin' sixteen hours
And there's nothin' much to do
And you don't feel much like ridin',
You just wish the trip was through
Here I am
On the road again
There I am
Up on the stage
Here I go
Playin' star again
There I go
Turn the page
Well you walk into a restaurant,
Strung out from the road
And you feel the eyes upon you
As you're shakin' off the cold
You pretend it doesn't bother you
But you just want to explode
Most times you can't hear 'em talk,
Other times you can
All the same old cliches,
"Is that a woman or a man?"
And you always seem outnumbered,
You don't dare make a stand
Here I am
On the road again
There I am
Up on the stage
Here I go
Playin' star again
There I go
Turn the page
Out there in the spotlight
You're a million miles away
Every ounce of energy
You try to give away
As the sweat pours out your body
Like the music that you play
Later in the evening
As you lie awake in bed
With the echoes from the amplifiers
Ringin' in your head
You smoke the day's last cigarette,
Rememberin' what she said
Here I am
On the road again
There I am
Up on the stage
Here I go
Playin' star again
There I go
Turn the page
Here I am
On the road again
There I am
Up on the stage
Here I go
Playin' star again
There I go
There I go

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Bob Seger
Turn the Page lyrics © Gear Publishing, Gear Publishing Company Inc, Gear Publishing Co., Inc., Hideout Records/distribtrs Inc (gear Publishing Di, Hideout Records Dist. Inc., Gear Publishing Co. Inc

Bob Seger and The Silver Bullet Band - Turn The Page (Live At Cobo Hall, Detroit / 1975)

Monday, October 26, 2020

PTSD Patrol when it isn't the way it should be

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
October 26, 2020

Music has the ability to change the mood we are in. It also has the ability to trigger memories. That happened to me earlier today when I heard "Heaven Knows" by Donna Summer.

"I'm not talking just for play, listen to me please
Heaven knows it's not the way it should be and
Heaven knows it's not the way it could be and
Don't you know there's no need to leave"

That is a message we all need to learn. Suffering after surviving is not part of the deal. Being so miserable that you regret you lived, is not part of the deal. It isn't the way it should be and not the way it could be.

If you are suffering learn that you are only limited by what you are willing to accept. If someone you love is suffering, then you want them to be happy but wishing won't make it happen. Waiting for a miracle won't happen unless you accept the miracle that already happened and that is that they are still alive. They made it through something you may never understand. Value that miracle and then do what so many other miracles have provided for you to learn from.

PTSD researchers dedicated their lives to understanding what traumatic events do to people. That research has been going on for over 40 years. Their work is how I understood what being a survivor did to me as much as I understood what being a survivor did to my husband, but the power of that knowledge only came when I was made aware that no one is stuck suffering. Miracles happen with this all the time as long as you are not willing to settle or just walk away from someone you love...or someone who loves you!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD



Baby please, please don't take your love from me
I am yours forever more, 'till eternity
Silently, listen to the words I say
I'm not talking just for play, listen to me please
Heaven knows it's not the way it should be and
Heaven knows it's not the way it could be and
Don't you know there's no need to leave
Heaven knows I never wanna leave you
Heaven knows I only wanna please you
Don't you know love is what I need
Down inside, don't get caught with foolish pride
Put all the other things aside, there's only you and me
Believe in us, we were always meant to be
Me for you and you for me, 'till eternity
Heaven knows it's not the way it should be and
Heaven knows it's not the way it could be and
Don't you know there's no need to leave
Heaven knows I only wanna love you
Heaven knows I never wanna lose you
Don't you know love is meant to be
Heaven knows it's not the way it should be
Heaven knows stop with the pretending
Come on now, hear me when I cry

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Pete Bellotte / Giorgio Moroder / Donna Summer / G. Mathieson / Julian Lamadrid Manon / Jackson Hirsh
Heaven Knows lyrics © Warner-tamerlane Publishing Corp., Sweet Summer Night Music, Rick's Music, Inc., Rick's Music Inc 

Sunday, October 25, 2020

PTSD Patrol what are friends for?

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
October 25, 2020

What are friends for? Some people will point to their Facebook "friends" and say they have thousands. Well, I know a lot of people, but I only have a few I would call friend. Most people will say that same thing when they are being honest.

Is a friend someone who will help you move? Or would they say, "let me know what your new address is" because they want to send you a Christmas card?

Is a friend someone who will go to the store for you when you are not well, or do they tell you can get delivery?

Is a friend someone who will spend time with you, listen to you when you are depressed or lonely...or do they tell you to call them when you are feeling better?

So how many can you call friend now? Can they call you friend when they need someone to be there for them? That is what friends are for.

When they have PTSD, they are feeling as if they do not deserve anyone to care about them. That feeling grows deeper the longer it goes on and more people turn away from them. Are you reenforcing that by letting their calls go to voice mail? Are you feeding it by telling them you are tired of hearing the same story over and over again and it is time for them to "get over it" no matter what it is?


Real friends are there in bad times, as well as good ones. They are there to make you feel as if you matter to them. If your friend is hurting, then let them know they do matter to you! #BreakTheSilence and tell them you'll be there to help them #TakeBackYourLife for as long as it takes!

And I never thought I'd feel this way
And as far as I'm concerned
I'm glad I got the chance to say
That I do believe, I love you
And if I should ever go away
Well, then close your eyes and try
To feel the way we do today
And then if you can remember
Keep smiling, keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for
Well, you came in loving me
And now there's so much more I see
And so by the way
I thank you
Oh and then for the times when we're apart
Well, then close your eyes and know
The words are coming from my heart
And then if you can remember
Keep smiling and keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
In good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for
Keep smiling, keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for
Keep smiling, keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
Cause I tell you, that's what friends are for
Whoa, good times and the bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Burt F Bacharach / Carole Bayer Sager / Burt Bacharach / Carol Bayer Sager
That's What Friends Are For lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc, BMG Rights Management, Royalty Network 

Saturday, October 24, 2020

PTSD Patrol "If I Could"

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
October 24, 2020

When your child is suffering, it breaks your heart. It doesn't matter how old they are, they always your child. The worst thing is when you feel helpless. You want to help but you don't know what is eating at them. You want to listen but they are holding back what is causing them pain.

Maybe they don't want to worry you or disappoint you. Then again, the pain may be so deep, they don't know how to put it into words.

Too many Moms I have talked to over the years said the things that are in today's feature video, after the child they loved committed suicide. That pain for them never ends. The questions never end because the only person who could answer them, decided to leave without answering.

"If I Could" was written by Barbra Streisand for her son, and the lyrics explain what Moms want to tell their children, no matter how old they are.

If you are worried but they will not open up to you, then send them the link to the song to let them know you are there for them no mater what it is.

#BreakTheSilence and tell them they can #TakeBackYourLife to heal.



Regina Belle- If I Could (1996) 
If I could
I'd protect you from the sadness in your eyes
Give you courage in a world of compromise
Yes, I would
If I could
I would teach you all the things I never learned
And I'd help you cross the bridges that I burned
Yes, I would
If I could
I would try to shield your innocence from time
But the part of life I gave you isn't mine
I watched you grow
So I could let you go
If I could
I would help you make it through the hungry years
But I know that I can never cry your tears
But I would
If I could
If I live
In a time and place
Where you don't want to be
You don't have to walk along this road with me
My yesterday
Won't have to be your way
If I knew
I'd have tried to change the world I brought you to
Through there wasn't very much that I could do
But I still would
If I could
If, if I could
I would try to shield your innocence from time
But the part of life I gave you isn't mine.
I watched you grow
So I could let you go
If I could
I would help you make it through the hungry years
But I know that I can never cry your tears
But I would
If I could
Yes, I would
Yes, I would
If I could

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Kenneth Hirsch / Ron Miller / Marti Sharron / Kenny Hirsch / Ronald Norman Miller 

If I Could lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

Friday, October 23, 2020

PTSD Patrol healing is not an "Impossible Dream"

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
October 23, 2020

"To run where the brave dare not go" is where we are. "To fight the unbeatable foe" is what we are doing right now because we know it is not an "Impossible Dream" to beat the enemy of PTSD.

Originally I was doing a message that left me depressed. It was about the sad outcome for far too many, but as it says in the Bible Mark 12:27 "He is not God of the dead, but the God of the living,"

Miracles happen all the time, no matter how impossible we may think they are to achieve. When the scars on our bodies heal, new skin comes in. When the scars of our hearts heal, new comes in. We are able to let go of a lot of things, to forgive when there was a time we thought we'd never be able to do it. We can experience a much happier life the we dreamt was possible.
Nothing is impossible unless we are willing to accept what is, just because someone told us that was all there was. We have too many examples of what is possible to inspire us.





To dream the impossible dream
To fight the unbeatable foe
To bear with unbearable sorrow
And to run where the brave dare not go
To right the unrightable wrong
And to love pure and chaste from afar
To try when your arms are to weary
To reach the unreachable star
This is my quest
To follow that star
Ooh, no matter how hopeless
No matter how far
To fight for the right
Without question or pause
To be willing to march, march into hell
For that heavenly cause
And I know
If I'll only be true
To this glorious quest
That my heart
Will lie peaceful and calm
When I'm laid to my rest
And the world will be better for this
Oh, that one man, scorned and covered with scars
Still strong with his last ounce of courage
To reach the unreachable, the unreachable
The unreachable star
Yeah, and I'll always dream
The impossible dream
Yes, and I'll reach
The unreachable star

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Leigh Mitch / Darion Joseph
The Impossible Dream lyrics © Helena Music Company, Andrew Scott Music, Helena Music Corp. 

Luther Vandross - The Impossible Dream (Official Live) An Evening of Songs at The Royal Albert Hall 

Thursday, October 22, 2020

PTSD Patrol Respect Yourself

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
October 22, 2020

RESPECT YOURSELF is the message of today and the feature video. That is something I had to learn the hard way. In June, I freed myself from all constraints that limited what I could do and say. I stopped trying to prove myself to the veterans community after 38 years of fighting to deliver messages of healing and knowledge about what power they had over PTSD. It became one of the most rewarding experiences of my life.

My buddy Gunny and I were talking yesterday and he said he couldn't believe how much I've changed...how much happier I come across on these videos. He's right. People noticed that I learned to respect myself to the point where I was tired of not respecting all I had to give.

If you have PTSD, the chances are pretty great that you lost a lot along the way. Maybe you lost family and friends who turned their backs on you when you were clearly in need of help. Maybe you walked away because you didn't want them to see you as someone to pitty. The thing is, the price you were paying as being a survivor, would have been so much easier to carry if you had people standing by your side. Unfortunatly, that is the way it is most of the time because people cannot open their eyes, or become invested in discovering why you changed. Even if they were, then you were probably limited on what you could explain to them. You'd think with over 8 million Americans going through this, there would be a lot more information to help you do it, but there isn't.

Set all that in your rearview mirror now because you are moving forward. The past is behind you and it is time to learn how to respect yourself. Take a look at all your qualities and abilities. Look at your weaknesses and see what you can do to change them, even if you cannot get rid of them. For me, that is my temper. I have to work on that all the time, but I manage to keep it in control most of the time.

It is time for you to be true to yourself, but the only way to do that is to respect yourself enough to know you are worthy of it! Life is full of surprises when you reach that point and you can end up a lot happier too. If you don't believe how much I've changed, take a look at some of my older videos that I shot down in Florida and see what is poaaible!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD



Yes this is Bruce Willis and he sings in this video~

If you disrespect anybody that you run in to
How in the world do you think anybody's s'posed to respect you
If you don't give a heck 'bout the man with the bible in his hand, y'all
Just get out the way, and let the gentleman do his thing
You the kind of gentleman that want everything your way, yeah
Take the sheet off your face, boy, it's a brand new day
Respect yourself, respect yourself, respect yourself, respect yourself
If you don't respect yourself
Ain't nobody gonna give a good cahoot, na na na na
Respect yourself, respect yourself, respect yourself, respect yourself
If you're walking 'round think'n that the world owes you something 'cause you're here
You goin' out the world backwards like you did when you first come here yeah
Keep talkin' bout the president, won't stop air pollution
Put your hand on your mouth when you cough, that'll help the solution
Oh, you cuss around women and you don't even know their names, no
Then you're dumb enough to think that'll make you a big ol' man
Respect yourself, respect yourself, respect yourself, respect yourself
If you don't respect yourself
Ain't nobody gonna give a good cahoot, na na na na
Respect yourself, respect yourself, respect yourself, respect yourself
Respect yourself, respect yourself, respect yourself, respect yourself
Respect yourself, yeah yeah respect yourself, respect yourself yeah, respect yourself
You oughta you oughta respect yourself yeah, respect yourself

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Luther Thomas Ingram / Mack Rice
Respect Yourself lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group
Bruce Willis and June Pointer - Respect Yourself (1987)

Wednesday, October 21, 2020

PTSD Patrol God Save The People

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
October 21, 2020

In 1971 the play Godspell came out and was such a huge hit, they turned it into a movie. The Vietnam War was still going on and there were protests, along with a lot of turmoil. One of my favorite songs is God Save The People. 

Right now, things suck all the way around, and it can seem hopeless, if that is all you focus on. If you open your eyes and see what else is going on, then you regain your faith in your future.

Some people say when things are going wrong and you are suffering, "God only gives us what we can handle" which is totally false. It isn't just false it is harmful because that means God sent the sucky stuff to you, which makes it impossible to pray that God helps you out of it. If you have PTSD then the chance of you praying if you thought God did it to you is just about zero, instead of knowing you survived for a reason...whatever that reason was.

If you left the church, it is OK because a lot of churches left Christ a long time ago. They removed what He taught, what He showed and what He died for. Love, compassion, mercy, forgiveness, charity, the list goes on. He totally gets why you don't go to church because frankly, He prayed outside most of the time.

God still saves us and you will see that the next time you go out and look for people doing good things for someone else. Go into a grocery store and watch a clerk taking someone right to what they were looking for. See a fellow shopper reach up to take something down for someone else simply because a stranger needed help. Go to see the donations boxes for food around Thanksgiving. See all the Halloween candy in carts so that the shopper can make some kids happy with tiny treats in their bags.

God's love is all around you and you'll see it if you look for it no matter where you are.



When wilt thou save the people,
Oh, God of Mercy, when?
The people, Lord, the people,
Not thrones and crowns but men!
Flowers of thy heart, O God, are they.
Let them not pass, like weeds, away.
Their heritage a sunless day,
God save the people!
Shall crime bring crime forever,
Strength aiding still the strong?
Is it thy will, O Father,
That men shall toil for wrong?
'NO!' say thy mountains,
'NO!' say thy skies.
Man's clouded sun shall brightly rise,
And songs be heard instead of sighs.
God save the people!
When wilt thou save the people,
Oh, God of Mercy, when?
The people, Lord, the people,
Not thrones and crowns but men!
God save the people, for thine they are,
Thy children, as thy angels, fair,
Oh, save the people from despair!
When wilt thou save the people,
Oh, God of Mercy, when?
The people, Lord, the people,
Not thrones and crowns but men!
God save the people, for thine they are,
Thy children, as thy angels, fair,
Oh, save the people from despair,
God save the people!

Source: Musixmatch 


The Sheep and the Goats (Matthew 25:31-46)

31 “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. 32 All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.

34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

41 “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42 For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43 I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’

44 “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’

45 “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’

46 “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”

Tuesday, October 20, 2020

PTSD Patrol it's good to be alive

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
October 20, 2020

With some of my friends on Facebook, lately no matter what I plan on doing for the day on PTSD Patrol, it gets changed because one of them puts up a music video that gets my heart pumping and my feet moving, along with my chair....(yep, chair dancing again!)

Today the song was BORN TO BE ALIVE! There are two great videos with clips from old movies with people dancing, enjoying their lives. The thing is, most of the movies came out when the country was in turmoil. Wars, the heals of the Great Depression, protests and illnesses. Much like what we are living with today. 

Still the writers, directors, composures, choreographers and actors managed to find so much joy in what they were doing, fabulous things came out and made the audience happy for at least a while. There is so much power in changing even a tiny part of someone's life...and they knew that.

The lyrics of Born To Be Alive are empowering too because you can feel as if "it's good to be alive" again, even with PTSD. You can find moments of happiness turn into hours. Hours turn into days and days become a happier "normal" experience for you. 

That doesn't mean you will never be sad or angry, or depressed, but those days will happen less than what you may be living with right now. 

You are going to find what you look for, so if you look for what supports your misery, bingo, you found it for far too long, Isn't it time to look for what makes you happier?

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD



We were born to be alive
We were born to be alive
Born, born to be alive
(Born to be alive)
Yes we were born
Born
Born
(Born to be alive)
People ask me why
I never find a place to stop
And settle down
Down
Down
But I never wanted all those things
People need to justify
Their lives
Lives
Lives
Yes we were born, born,
Born to be alive
(Born to be alive)
Yes we were born
Born
Born
(Born to be alive)
It's good to be alive
To be alive
To be alive
It's good to be alive
To be alive
To be alive
It's good to be alive!
Time was on my side
When I was running down the street
It was no bind,
Bind
Bind
A suitcase and an old guitar
It's all I need to occupy
A mind like mine
Yes we were born, born,
Born to be alive
(Born to be alive)
Yes we were born
Born
Born
(Born to be alive)
Yes we were born, born,
Born to be alive
(Born to be alive).
Yes we were born,
Born
Born
(Born to be alive)
Yes we were born, born,
Born to be alive
(Born to be alive)
Yes we were born
Born
Born
(Born to be alive)
Yes we were born, born
Born to be alive
(Born to be alive).
Yes we were born,
Born,
Born
(Born to be alive)
Born born to be alive...

Source: Musixmatch 


BONUS video with newer movies mixed in....

Monday, October 19, 2020

PTSD Patrol Remember what happiness was?

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
October 19, 2020

How many times have you heard "misery loves company" and wondered what that was supposed to mean? It isn't as if people love to be around other people. For some, it does mean they are so miserable, they want others to feel the same way. We have to face the fact that there are very selfish people in this world. For most people, it is more of wanting to be around others who know what it feels like.

Healing PTSD is like that. When you are around others who have experienced something few others do, you can find comfort being with them and gain strength from the pain you share. You gain a new understanding and inspiration from hearing about someone else who struggled but stands as an example of what is possible when healing happens.

Today's song was one I almost didn't use because it is a sad song. Barbra Streisand Memory is beautiful and her incredible voice gets into your soul, but I thought it may be too sad. As I listened to it, I found comfort in the lyrics. 

I can smile happy your days (I can dream of the old days)
Life was beautiful then
I remember the time I knew what happiness was
Let the memory live again



You can remember what happiness was too and smile. You can remember what it was like when you were not so sad and can find good memories to hang onto. Nothing will ever be the same as it was before "IT" hit you hard...but that doesn't mean that as to be bad. It can all be different and still be good!


#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD



Midnight
Not a sound from the pavement
Has the moon lost her memory
She is smiling alone
In the lamplight
The withered leaves collect at my feet
And the wind begins to moan
Memory
All alone in the moonlight
I can smile happy your days (I can dream of the old days)
Life was beautiful then
I remember the time I knew what happiness was
Let the memory live again
Every street lamp seems to beat
A fatalistic warning
Someone mutters and the street lamp gutters
And soon it will be morning
Daylight
I must wait for the sunrise
I must think of a new life
And I mustn't give in
When the dawn comes
Tonight will be a memory too
And a new day will begin
Burnt out ends of smoky days
The still cold smell of morning
A street lamp dies, another night is over
Another day is dawning
Touch me,
It is so easy to leave me
All alone with the memory
Of my days in the sun
If you touch me,
You'll understand what happiness is
Look, a new day has begun

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Andrew Lloyd Webber / Trevor Nunn / T.S. Eliot / Zdenek Hruby
Memory lyrics © Songtrust Ave 

Sunday, October 18, 2020

PTSD Patrol Pick Yourself Up

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
October 18, 2020

I had another song and message picked out for today, but I was on Facebook a little while ago and a friend had posted a link to a video with Diana Krall from 2009. It changed the mood I was in. Listening to it, made me remember other versions of the song "Pick Yourself Up" and one of them was with Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers.

Songs like this last this long because they speak to being human and needing to "start again" many times in our lives.

We are all humans, doing the best we can and sometimes we fail. If we do not give up, then we can succeed at whatever it is we are trying to accomplish.

When you are down, don't look for stuff that will make feeling that way worse. All that does is keep you in the mood of doom and gloom. Look for something that makes you happy, makes you chair dance, brings back good memories and yes...even chair dance.

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD



Nothing's impossible I have found
For when my chin is on the ground
I pick myself up, dust myself off, start all over again
Don't lose your confidence if you slip
Be grateful for a pleasant trip
And pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again
Work like a soul inspired till the battle of the day is won
You may be sick and tired but you'll be a man my son
Don't you remember the famous men who had to fall to rise again?
They picked themselves up, dust themselves off and started all over again

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Dorothy Fields / Jerome Kern
Pick Yourself Up lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group, Reservoir Media Management Inc 


Pick Yourself Up - Swing Time (1936)

The song was written for the film Swing Time (1936), where it was introduced by Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers.


Diana Krall

BONUS VIDEO: Happy Days Are Here Again / Get Happy (Judy Garland, Barbra Streisand)

Saturday, October 17, 2020

PTSD Patrol breaking the sound of silence

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
October 17, 2020

"Hello darkness my old friend" begins the song, the Sound of Silence, and that is why it is today's feature video. PTSD is like having a bad old friend. Sure you know it well enough but that does not mean you are supposed to be happy to see it.

"I've come to talk with you again" but not really. More like it came to talk to you again when you are having a bad day, or some trigger set off a flashback.

"Because a vision softly creeping left its seeds while I was sleeping, and the vision that was planted in my brain still remains" and you can become afraid to speak about it. Then you live "within the sound of silence."

This version is with Pentatonix. Powerful, beautiful voices. joining together, side by side. That is what healing is like. Using your powerful, beautiful voice to talk about it so that others can heal side-by-side, supporting one another and gaining strength from each other.

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD and then share your journey so others may find the power to end their own sound of silence to help others heal too!

[OFFICIAL VIDEO] The Sound of Silence - Pentatonix



Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence
In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
'Neath the halo of a street lamp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence
And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence
"Fools, " said I, "You do not know
Silence, like a cancer, grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you"
But my words, like silent raindrops fell
And echoed in the wells, of silence
And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said, "The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls"
And whispered in the sounds of silence



Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Paul Simon
The Sound of Silence lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group 

"Can you imagine how I feel today?"

PTSD Patrol Kathie Costos June 15, 2021 "Can you imagine how I feel today?" is a question no one would have to ask if they talk...

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