Thursday, December 31, 2020

Renew hope for New Year

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
December 31, 2020

Did you get up out of bed this morning because you had to, or because you wanted to? If you got up because you had to, then that is a rough way to start a new day. If you did it because you wanted to, then that means you have hope left in you, and that is a great way to begin a new experience. 

There was a time when I got up because I had to. I had a daughter I needed to take care of. I had a job I needed to do, because I had a daughter to take care of. It wasn't the job I wanted to do and I didn't have the marriage I thought I'd have, but it was, what it was....sucky!

Then things changed. I changed the way I thought about a lot of stuff in my life and got hope back. Things got better all the way around and I wanted to get up in the morning. Life was better!

Having hope makes a lot of difference. Believing that, whatever you hope for can happen, makes things worth doing.

If you are dealing with PTSD, then have hope that you can heal and believe it will happen, Then make the changes in your life to make it happen. No better day to start than tomorrow...for a whole New Year!
Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD



If you wake up and don't want to smile
If it takes just a little while
Open your eyes and look at the day
You'll see things in a different way
Don't stop thinking about tomorrow
Don't stop, it'll soon be here
It'll be better than before
Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone
Why not think about times to come?
And not about the things that you've done
If your life was bad to you
Just think what tomorrow will do
Don't stop thinking about tomorrow
Don't stop, it'll soon be here
It'll be better than before
Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone
All I want is to see you smile
If it takes just a little while
I know you don't believe that it's true
I never meant any harm to you
Don't stop thinking about tomorrow
Don't stop, it'll soon be here
It'll be better than before
Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone
Don't stop thinking about tomorrow
Don't stop, it'll soon be here
It'll be better than before
Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone
Don't you look back
(Ooh)
Don't you look back
(Ooh)
Don't you look back

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Christine Mcvie
Don't Stop lyrics © Universal Music - Careers 

Journey - Don’t Stop Believin’ (UNICEF Won’t Stop) 

Just a small town girl
Livin' in a lonely world
She took the midnight train goin' anywhere
Just a city boy
Born and raised in South Detroit
He took the midnight train goin' anywhere
A singer in a smokey room
The smell of wine and cheap perfume
For a smile they can share the night
It goes on and on, and on, and on
Strangers, waitin'
Up and down the boulevard
Their shadows
Searchin' in the night
Streetlights, people
Livin' just to find emotion
Hidin' somewhere in the night
Workin' hard to get my fill
Everybody wants a thrill
Payin' anything to roll the dice
Just one more time
Some will win
Some will lose
Some were born to sing the blues
Oh, the movie never ends
It goes on and on, and on, and on
Strangers waitin'
Up and down the boulevard
Their shadows
Searchin' in the night
Streetlights, people
Livin' just to find emotion
Hidin' somewhere in the night
Don't stop believin'
Hold on to that feelin'
Streetlight, people
Don't stop, believin'
Hold on
Streetlights, people
Don't stop believin'
Hold on to that feelin'
Streetlight, people

Source: Musixmatch 

and for those who like the original one better
Journey - Don’t Stop Believin’ (Escape Tour 1981: Live In Houston)




We'll get through this. 
We've made mistakes,
But we've made good friends too. 
Remember all the nights we spent with them?
And all our plans,
Who says they can't come true?
Tonight's another chance to start again.
It's just another New Year's Eve,


It’s Just Another New Year’s Eve
Don't look so sad,
It's not so bad you know.
It's just another night,
That's all it is, it's not the first,
It's not the worst you know,
We've come through all the rest,
We'll get through this.
We've made mistakes,
But we've made good friends too.
Remember all the nights we spent with them?
And all our plans,
Who says they can't come true?
Tonight's another chance to start again. 
It's just another New Year's Eve,
Another night like all the rest.
It's just another New Year's Eve,
Let's make it the best.
It's just another New Year's Eve,
It's just another Auld Lang Syne,
But when we're through this New Year
You'll see, will be
Just fine.
We're not alone, we've got the world you know.
And it won't let us down, just wait and see.
And we'll grow old, but think how wise we'll grow. 
There's more you know, it's only New Year's Eve. 
It's just another New Year's Eve, 
Another night like all the rest.
It's just another New Year's Eve, 
Let's make it the best. 
It's just another New Year's Eve, 
It's just another Auld Lang Syne,
But when we're through this New Year, you'll see, will be 
Just fine.

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Barry Manilow / Martin Panzer
It’s Just Another New Year’s Eve lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

Wednesday, December 30, 2020

wonderful way to end this horrible year

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
December 30, 2020

UPDATED 
This morning I woke up to a fabulous video from Boston Dynamics. It has been such a shitty year, they decided to do something to lift people up. The video had me chair dancing and I had to share it.

I couldn't get it off my mind because it also speaks to the fact that after this shitty year, people will be celebrating it coming to an end. (Hopefully in their own homes with their own families.) That is what people do when something horrible ends. 

They will be celebrating even more when the vaccine is given to most Americans and people can get back to work, going to movies, games, concerts, shopping, or whatever else they did in their "normal lives." They will celebrate even more. 

Most of them now understand what trauma is now, sadly. The question is, why aren't you celebrating surviving whatever cause PTSD in you?

YOU SHOULD BE DANCING TOO! You should be celebrating the life you have ahead of you when you are happier. Just like with the New Year coming, dreams of a better year can turn into reality if you work at it.

The feature video today is The Bee Gees You Should Be Dancing, because you should be dancing and celebrating too!

For now, make sure you have a sturdy chair before you watch these videos. Mine almost broke!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

When I saw this I thought about how it is a wonderful way to end this horrible year~




watching robots dancing with joy to Do You Love Me!

Our whole crew got together to celebrate the start of what we hope will be a happier year: Happy New Year from all of us at Boston Dynamics.

Now, you are not a robot, but imagine how you just felt joy watching this video. Stunned by what can be accomplished by people with wild imaginations and talent? 

Then imagine what you can do to change your life so that you feel like dancing too!

Tuesday, December 29, 2020

fueled with that hope?

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
December 29, 2020

"Me, myself I got nothing to prove." The truth is, the only one you have to prove anything to, is yourself. You are the only one who has lived your life and you alone determine what you want for the rest of your life. That was the message I got from Tracy Chapman's song Fast Car.

It is about having a hard life but having hope that things can get better. That fast car she is singing about is fueled with that hope. You life can be fueled the same way. Hope gives you the possibility of dreams coming true. Nothing will change as long as you stay where you are, doing the same thing you did yesterday. If you think about what you want but don't believe it can happen, then it won't. If you believe it can, then you search for ways to make it come true.

Recovery from PTSD is something to hope for and then work for. It won't come to you. It won't happen if you sit there doing nothing but sulk. You have to get in your car (vehicle you live in) and pick a destination. Plan a way to get there...and go for it. Once you manage to prove to yourself that being a survivor doesn't have to suck, it won't anymore. Everyone else will catch on they were wrong about you, after you prove it to yourself.
Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it.

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Fast Car
Tracy Chapman

You got a fast car
I want a ticket to anywhere
Maybe we make a deal
Maybe together we can get somewhere
Any place is better
Starting from zero, got nothing to lose
Maybe we'll make something
Me, myself, I got nothing to prove
You got a fast car
I got a plan to get us out of here
I been working at the convenience store
Managed to save just a little bit of money
Won't have to drive too far
Just 'cross the border and into the city
You and I can both get jobs
And finally see what it means to be living
See, my old man's got a problem
He lives with the bottle, that's the way it is
He says his body's too old for working
His body's too young to look like his
My mama went off and left him
She wanted more from life than he could give
I said, somebody's got to take care of him
So I quit school and that's what I did
You got a fast car
Is it fast enough so we can fly away?
We gotta make a decision
Leave tonight or live and die this way
So I remember we were driving, driving in your car
Speed so fast, I felt like I was drunk
City lights lay out before us
And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder
And I-I, had a feeling that I belonged
I-I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone
You got a fast car
We go cruising to entertain ourselves
You still ain't got a job
And I work in a market as a checkout girl
I know things will get better
You'll find work and I'll get promoted
We'll move out of the shelter
Buy a bigger house and live in the suburbs
So I remember when we were driving, driving in your car
Speed so fast, I felt like I was drunk
City lights lay out before us
And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder
And I-I, had a feeling that I belonged
I-I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone
You got a fast car
I got a job that pays all our bills
You stay out drinking late at the bar
See more of your friends than you do of your kids
I'd always hoped for better
Thought maybe together you and me would find it
I got no plans, I ain't going nowhere
So take your fast car and keep on driving
So I remember when we were driving, driving in your car
Speed so fast, I felt like I was drunk
City lights lay out before us
And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder
And I-I, had a feeling that I belonged
I-I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone
You got a fast car
Is it fast enough so you can fly away?
You gotta make a decision
Leave tonight or live and die this way

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Tracy L Chapman
Fast Car lyrics © Emi April Music Inc., Purple Rabbit Music 

Monday, December 28, 2020

Still standing and being happy about it

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
December 28, 2020

"Looking like a true survivor" means you are happy you did. So why don't you seem happy about it?  The only way to get PTSD is to know what it is like to be a survivor of whatever caused it. The question is, when do you become happy about it?

Is if because someone told you that you are supposed to be miserable? That you are supposed to live in a pit of despair? Time to pick up the pieces of your life without what they said on your mind. They are wrong!

If you haven't guessed it by now, the feature video is Elton John, I'm Still Standing. If you saw the movie Rocketman you know he didn't have an easy life. The thing is, he didn't give up because it wasn't easy. Healing PTSD isn't easy but you can do it. You can change your life for the better if you believe it is possible and work at it.

I love the part of the song with "feeling like a little kid." Kids have wild imaginations, where anything is possible to be true. Watch them play with toys or stuffed animals, pretending they are alive. When we grow up, we lose that sense of wonderment and then imagination dies. Healing makes you feel like a little kid again because the possibilities are only limited by how much you want to fight for it to become reality.

There is not one single person I talked to over all these years, who didn't want to be happy again. Unfortunately they didn't want to work at it. Those who did, did it on their own. All I did was guide them so they could do all the work. They are "still standing after all this time" and better than ever.

Find what works for you and you can be a happy survivor too!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD



I'm Still Standing
Elton John

You could never know what it's like
Your blood like winter freezes just like ice
And there's a cold lonely light that shines from you
You'll wind up like the wreck you hide behind that mask you use
And did you think this fool could never win?
Well look at me, I'm coming back again
I got a taste of love in a simple way
And if you need to know while I'm still standing, you just fade away
Don't you know I'm still standing better than I ever did
Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid
I'm still standing after all this time
Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind
I'm still standing (Yeah, yeah, yeah)
I'm still standing (Yeah, yeah, yeah)
Once I never could have hoped to win
You're starting down the road leaving me again
The threats you made were meant to cut me down
And if our love was just a circus, you'd be a clown by now
You know I'm still standing better than I ever did
Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid
I'm still standing after all this time
Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind
I'm still standing (Yeah, yeah, yeah)
I'm still standing (Yeah, yeah, yeah)
Don't you know that I'm still standing better than I ever did
Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid
I'm still standing after all this time
Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind
I'm still standing (Yeah, yeah, yeah)...

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Elton John / Bernie Taupin
I'm Still Standing lyrics © Hst Publishing Ltd., Rouge Booze, Inc. 

Sunday, December 27, 2020

Life is ours, we live it our way

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
December 27, 2020

"Life is ours, we live it our way" and that should always be the case if you have PTSD. No one else has the right to judge how you live unless they know what you lived through. The most important question you should ask yourself is, "Are you a good person...or at least try to be?"

Part of having PTSD is, you may think you are evil because your thoughts are odd compared to the core of who you are. Most of that comes from a defense perspective, which is why you want to get numb. If you believe that, then it is easy for you to go against your core values, doing bad things and thinking in hateful ways. You are battling how you were made, and that can make you even more miserable.

Be true to who you always were inside and feed that part of you until it takes back over again. This is why today the feature video is Metallica Nothing Else Matters.

When I listened to the song, I almost cried because I was thinking about me and my husband. Neither one of us are "normal" and carried a lot of scars, but we healed each other heal. That is what love is supposed to do. We are not supposed to walk away just because something is hard.

I couldn't compare my marriage to anyone else's and I stopped feeling as if I had to defend it. I was willing to explain it, if they were willing to listen. If not, then t was their problem. Not mine. I owed them nothing but I owed myself the best I could give by being the best I could be.

Nothing else mattered. No one else had power over our lives or our marriage but us. You can read about the first 18 years and what we went through to know that is what I have been preaching because it is what I've been practicing knowing it works.

Remember...it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD
Nothing Else Matters
Metallica 

So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters
Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words, I don't just say
And nothing else matters
Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know
So close, no matter how far
It couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know
I never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words, I don't just say
And nothing else matters
Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters
Never cared for what they say
Never cared for games they play
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
And I know, yeah, yeah
So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
No, nothing else matters

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: James Alan Hetfield / Lars Ulrich
Nothing Else Matters lyrics © Creeping Death Music 

Saturday, December 26, 2020

feeling lonely, you are not alone

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
December 26, 2020

If you've been feeling lonely, you are not alone. Two of the most famous songs with lonely in the title came from famous singers. Roy Orbison and B.J. Thomas showed an emotional connection to the songs, because they understood what it was like. If they can understand it, wow, that tells you something right there. Plus being top hits, it also says that there are a lot of people who know what that is like.

Christmas is over and now comes the time to figure out what your New Year's resolution will be. This is a gift we are supposed to give ourselves with the beginning of a brand new year. Lose weight, exercise more, complain less, but no matter what I promise myself, it is forgotten about a few days later. This year, I decided that I was going to change whatever I could so that I'd stop feeling lonely. My other site, Wounded Times has 4,745,340 page views, and this one has almost 70,000, and then all the videos, but even with all that, I am lonely. 

I am blessed with a wonderful daughter, my husband and I have been together forever and I have some terrific friends, but I am lonely. They don't really understand what I do, so I am alone doing it. It sucks! That is why this year, I decided to start now to change things. I am seeking new people online who will understand what I do and find some company there. 


If you are trying to heal PTSD, it can suck because the people you know have no idea what you are dealing with, so find others who will. Find the support you need with groups or from people who are going through the same thing. Being lonely sucks, but when you are feeling lonely surrounded by others, that loneliness fades and you take some comfort with them while giving it to them as well. Win-win all the way around.

Don't settle on a lonely life when you have the power to change that.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

"I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry"
(originally by Hank Williams) 

Did you hear that lonesome whippoorwill?
He sounds too blue to fly
The midnight train is whining low
And I'm so lonesome I could cry 

Did you ever see a night so long
When time goes crawlin' by?
The moon just went behind a cloud
And I'm so lonesome I could cry 

Did you ever see a robin weep
When leaves begin to die?
That means he's lost the will to live
And I'm so lonesome I could cry 
The silence of a fallin' star
Lights up a purple sky
And as I wonder where you are
I'm so lonesome I could cry 

Yeah I-I could cry-eye-eye
I could cry-eye, eye-eye-eye, I-I could cry-eye
I could cry-eye, oh-oh-oh-oh
I-I could cry, I could cry

(AZ Lyrics)



Only the lonely 
Know the way I feel tonight
Only the lonely 
Know this feeling ain't right 
There goes my baby
There goes my heart
They're gone forever
So far apart
But only the lonely
Know why I cry
Only the lonely 
(Oh, oh oh oh oh ooh-ah-ah, only the lonely)
(Only the lonely
Only the lonely
Know the heartaches I've been through 
Only the lonely
Know I cry and cry for you 
Maybe tomorrow
A new romance
No-o-o more sorrow
But that's the chance
You've got to take
If your lonely heart breaks
Only the lonely

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Joe Melson / Roy Orbison
Only the Lonely lyrics © Barbara Orbison Music Company, Roy Orbison Music Company, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., BMG Rights Management 

Friday, December 25, 2020

Giving yourself a gift this year?

PTSD Patrol

Kathie Costos

December 25, 2020

Merry Christmas! While it seems there isn't much to be merry about this year, there is if you look for it.

Maybe you didn't get what you wanted, or you were not able to get what someone else wanted. Maybe you have so many worries that feeling as if you are supposed to be celebrating, seems like torture. How do you celebrate Christmas when it feels like just when you thought this year couldn't get any worse....it did?

HOPE! That is what Christmas is supposed to be all about. Listen to the Christmas songs we all grew up with. (Not the funny ones I've been putting up the last few days.) Did you notice that most of them are about hope?

Between the Birth in the manger and the crucifixion on the Cross, Jesus lived a life of awesomeness! We read all about His miracles, but we tend to forget how much He suffered.

He knew what it was like to be hungry.

He knew what it was like to be lonely.

He knew what it was like to feel abandoned.

He knew what it was like to be betrayed.

He knew what it was like to grieve so much He wept.

He knew what it was like to do the right things for the right reasons and be hated for them.

He knew what it was like to be called a liar.

Yet with even more evidence of His suffering, He lived His life serving others, preaching of God's love, performing miracles, giving hope to those who had forgotten what hope in their hearts felt like, and proving to them they were loved!

One of the greatest gifts He gave was teaching them the importance of forgiving.  It was not for the sake of those who hurt Him, or those who hurt you, but more about giving yourself a gift.

Jesus didn't let what others did to Him, stop Him from being true to what He knew was right. He didn't hate those He was willing to die for, even after they betrayed them. He asked His Father to forgive them, because they had no idea what they were doing.

If we hang onto those who hurt us, the wrong done to us, then we rob ourselves of all the good that could replace what is harmful to us. Forgive others and take away the power they retain in your heart. They do don't deserved to remain there. 

Understand that if you are doing the right thing, then it is their problem, not yours. If you did the wrong thing to them, apologize to them. If they accept it, then all is well. If they do not, then it is again their problem. 

If you are having a hard time forgiving, then pray for the strength to do it, because Jesus knows what it is like to be you!

Thursday, December 24, 2020

but I don't hate Christmas

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
December 24, 2020

This is going to sound like a strange thing for a Chaplain to say, but I don't hate Christmas. After the videos I put up yesterday and the ones from today, I felt as if I should make that very clear.

This has been an awful year for most people and thinking about how we want to spend Christmas, but not being able to, can be really depressing, so I want to lift the mood a bit.

Last year we moved back to New England. We were able to enjoy Thanksgiving and Christmas with family and friends after 15 years living in Florida, spending it alone. It sucked! We missed them because we love them. It is because we all love one another, we are staying away this year. 

Strange things happened this year that were not good but next year, strange things can happen that are good ones too.

Finding these videos lifted my spirit, especially the ones that I couldn't share that were too adult for most people (if you get my drift) and I hope they do the same for you.



 

 and in dishonor of COVID.....

Wednesday, December 23, 2020

Eve before Christmas Eve doesn't have to suck

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
December 23, 2020 

It has been a hard year all around, and just when we thought things would get better, another let down. After months of no help from Congress, they finally got together and passed 2 bills. One to fund the government and the other to help so many of us suffering. When you run out hope, even less help than you need helps. And then just like that, we got a lump of coal.

It is hard to find something to hope for as the days tick away. When we get a glimmer of something good happening, then see it snatched away, it can be devastating. All of this got me thinking about PTSD. You can wake up one morning, feeling hopeful out of "nowhere" then do something that makes you feel better for a while. The next morning, you are depressed all over again. That is because that is not healing. That is manufacturing a high.




Healing takes time but it lasts. Sure you'll have some bad days, but instead of a rollercoaster ride, it is more like a kiddy ride. Healing is a give you give yourself and to others that lasts. Next year your life will be better because there are some things you do have control over in your own part of this world.

For now, enjoy these funny Christmas video songs and the last one is Paul McCartney Let It Be.




and the one we'll be thinking about tomorrow night!









When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
Let it be, let it be
Let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be
And when the broken-hearted people
Living in the world agree
There will be an answer, let it be
For though they may be parted
There is still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer, let it be
Let it be, let it be
Let it be, let it be
Yeah, there will be an answer, let it be
Let it be, let it be
Let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be
Let it be, let it be
Let it be, yeah, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be
And when the night is cloudy
There is still a light that shines on me
Shine on 'til tomorrow, let it be
I wake up to the sound of music
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
Let it be, let it be
Let it be, yeah, let it be
There will be an answer, let it be
Let it be, let it be
Let it be, yeah, let it be
There will be an answer, let it be
Let it be, let it be
Let it be, yeah, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Mccartney / Lennon
Let It Be lyrics © Sony/atv Tunes Llc 

Tuesday, December 22, 2020

What The World Needs Now Is Healing

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
December 22, 2020

My job has been to help people understand how much power they do have over PTSD, give them hope of healing and then get them to go to professionals who can offer more help than I can. If they fear it, they will not seek help. That is why the tagline of PTSD Patrol is Clearing The Way to #TakeBackYourLife.
That is the earliest post I could find that was still live online. While it goes back to 2005, I started working on PTSD online in 1993. I started writing about it in 1984, 2 years after researching it began for me, and a lifetime of surviving events. So far, it has been over 10 events, not counting the hurricanes I went through while living in Florida. I know what it does from living through them but I know more from living with my husband and leaning all I could about how to change our lives.

When the Pulse Nightclub massacre happened, I was not far away, and remember what happened, how people responded with love after this act of hate destroyed so many lives. The thing is, it kept destroying lives, including those of the first responders.

I was only able to help a few of them, because no matter how hard I tried, no matter how much I posted, my work was hard to find. To this day, whenever I read about people suffering with PTSD, instead of healing from it, my heart breaks!
Don't let more hearts break because they think there is no hope for them after surviving something that could have killed them. Help me give them the information and support they need so they get on the right road to find the help they need from groups and providers!


What The World Needs Now

What the world needs now is love, sweet love
It's the only thing that there's just too little of
What the world needs now is love, sweet love
No not just for some, but for everyone
Lord, we don't need another mountain
There are mountains and hillsides enough to climb
There are oceans and rivers enough to cross
Enough to last 'til the end of time
What the world needs now is love, sweet love
It's the only thing that there's just too little of
What the world needs now is love, sweet love
No, not just for some, but for everyone
Lord, we don't need another meadow
There are cornfields and wheatfields enough to grow
There are sunbeams and moonbeams enough to shine
Oh listen, Lord, if you want to know
What the world needs now is love, sweet love
It's the only thing that there's just too little of
What the world needs now is love, sweet love
No, not just for some, oh, but just for every, every, everyone

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: David Hal / Bacharach Burt F
What the World Needs Now Is Love lyrics © New Hidden Valley Music Co., New Hidden Valley Music Company, Casa David Music, New Hidden Valley Music Co, Bmg Rights Management (uk) Ltd (hal David) 

Broadway For Orlando

'What The World Needs Now Is Love’ is the charity single sung by Broadway for Orlando, an all-star group of artists from the theatre and pop world: Sara Bareilles, Idina Menzel, Audra McDonald, Gloria Estefan, Carole King, Sarah Jessica Parker, and many more.

The single was created to honor the victims of the Orlando shooting massacre at the Pulse Nightclub.

100% of the proceeds from the sale of the song will benefit the LGBT Community Center of Central Florida.

Monday, December 21, 2020

Find some comfort here

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
December 21, 2020

Today was not a good day. I was thinking about how lousy this years has been for everyone, especially people who had already been living with PTSD. I set out to see what the newest numbers were, knowing the trauma of the pandemic would increase the need for this work. Sadly, I was shockingly right.

These are the numbers from COVID-19 as of December 21, 2020
If that should not get you to think about what else is coming with this pandemic, then consider this. Predictors of PTSD: type and severity of trauma exposure
It is important to note that the majority of people exposed to trauma recover within 30 days and do not develop PTSD. The type and severity of trauma exposure strongly predicts development of PTSD, with perpetrated interpersonal violence having much higher rates of PTSD than exposures like transportation collisions, fires, and natural disasters like hurricanes, etc. Motor vehicle crashes and natural disasters are associated with ~10% rates of development of PTSD, being in a combat zone ~18%, physical assault or experiencing heavy combat ~30%, and sexual assault and torture up to 50%.
It is often underappreciated that medical events and procedures associated with life threat, even when they are successful, are associated with relatively high rates of PTSD development. For example, myocardial infarct / acute coronary syndrome is associated with up to 15% rate of PTSD, as is unexpected discharge of cardiac defibrillation devices. Major thoracic surgeries such as cardiac aretery bypass graft (CABG) and open abdominal aortic aneurysm (AAA) repair, even when scheduled and expected, are also associated with ~20% rates of de novo PTSD.
Particularly relevant to the COVID-19 pandemic, prolonged treatment in intensive care units (ICUs) such as for sepsis, and in particular, intubation, are associated with some of the highest rates of medical PTSD, with 35% of ICU survivors having clinically significant PTSD symptoms 2 years subsequent to the ICU care. Thus, in addition to “post-intubation syndrome” in survivors, once a patient is medically stabilized, it is important to assess and provide care for psychiatric responses like PTSD that are expected to be common.

The last update on PTSD in the US is 8 million.

U.S. PTSD statistics
About 8 million adults in the U.S. have PTSD during a given year. (U.S. Department of Veteran Affairs, 2019)
PTSD affects more than twice as many women (10%) as men (4%). (U.S. Department of Veteran Affairs, 2019)
70% of adults in the U.S. experience at least one traumatic event in their lifetime. (Sidran Institute, 2018)
The lifetime prevalence of PTSD in the U.S. was 6.8% as of 2001-2003. (Harvard Medical School, 2007)
Which means we're headed into landslide territory!
I don't like doom and gloom but right now, we have to face the gloom so that less people will have to face doom alone. At the very least, we can give them something to fight back with.

The only appropriate song I could think of is Arms Of The Angels...if you share this work, the you could be an angel to those who are searching for hope that they can heal!





Angel
Song by Sarah McLachlan

Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There's always some reason
To feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh a beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
Let me be empty
Oh and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight
In the arms of the angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here
So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lack
It don't make no difference
Escaping one last time
It's easier to believe
In this sweet madness
Oh this glorious sadness
That brings me to my knees
In the arms of the angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Sarah Mclachlan / Rudy Perez
Angel lyrics © Sony/atv Songs Llc, Tyde Music, Rubet Music Publishing Inc. 

Sunday, December 20, 2020

FIRST TIME HEARING Janis Joplin - Piece Of My Heart REACTION

 PTSD Patrol bonus post!

Music has the power to travel through generations...and Janis Joplin proved it, along with most of the music we listened to!


I was on YouTube putting up the video for today when I saw this! The were introduced to Janis Joplin and their reaction is priceless!


FIRST TIME HEARING Janis Joplin - Piece Of My Heart REACTION


So what do you want someday soon?

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
December 20, 2020

I haven't done a post in a while about veterans but this morning as I was searching for the song for the day, Someday Soon by Judy Collins came into my head. Once I listened to the lyrics, I remembered why.

This song came out during the Vietnam War. My husband listened to oldies, just like me and I remembered when I heard this song, I was thinking it could have been about us. No, he wasn't in the rodeo but as the years went by, my parents had a hard time accepting the fact that he did make me happy even though my heart was breaking.

Seeing him suffer from PTSD, and doing whatever I could to help him, broke my heart. Eventually, they started to tell me to get a divorce, even though my Dad was a veteran and spotted it in him the night they met. It was a tough road we were on, but looking back, it was a trip so worth taking.

"My parents can not stand him
Cause he rides the rodeo
My father says that
He will leave me crying
I would follow him right down
The toughest road I know
Someday soon, going with him
Someday soon"



So what do you want someday soon?

Some people want to go back to the way their lives were before the pandemic spread out across the world. They want to go out to eat, get together with family, friends and enjoy concerts, plays, parties and go out to the movie theaters. They hang onto hope that will all be possible again...someday soon.

Some people want to hit the lottery, so they play their numbers or buy their scratch tickets faithfully because they are sure it can happen to them. It gives them hope as they dream about what they'll do with the money....someday soon. 

For some with PTSD, your someday soon can be living a happier life and it can happen. It can happen if you are will to change what you can..and as the prayer from AA goes, wisdom to access the things you cannot change. What gives you hope about what can come with your someday soon?

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it.

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Judy Collins Someday Soon
There's a young man that I know
His age is twenty-one
Comes from down
In southern Colorado
Just out of the service
And he's looking for his fun
Someday soon, going with him
Someday soon
My parents can not stand him
Cause he rides the rodeo
My father says that
He will leave me crying
I would follow him right down
The toughest road I know
Someday soon, going with him
Someday soon
And when he comes to call
My pa ain't got a good word to say
Guess it's cause he's just
As wild in the younger days
So blow, you old Blue Northern
Blow my love to me
He's driving in tonight
From California
He loves his damned old rodeo
As much as he loves me
Someday soon, going with him
Someday soon
But when he comes to call
My pa ain't got a word to say
Guess it's cause he's just
As wild in the younger days
Blow, you old Blue Northern
Blow my love to me
He's driving in tonight
From California
He loves his damned old rodeo
As much as he loves me
Someday soon, going with him
Someday soon
Someday soon, going with him
Someday soon

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Tyson Ian
Someday Soon lyrics © Four Strong Winds Ltd. 



Saturday, December 19, 2020

Out Of My Darkest Hours

PTSD Patrol
Kahtie Costos
December 19, 2020

This may make you think I'm insane, but if you've been reading these posts or watching the videos....you already figured that one out.

When things were really hard, I could't talk to my friends, because they didn't want know what PTSD was. I would listen to them complain about the finest things, and get so upset as if they were complaining about something enormous...and I'd walk away knowing the difference between ego being bent out of shape, and what it was like to see someone you love suffering.

I couldn't talk to my family as much as I wanted to, because they'd usually listen, then tell me I should get a divorce. There were times when I couldn't brush off their lousy advice, so I wouldn't even open the door to it happening.

I would go for rides and listen to the radio. Most songs are love songs, which was something I didn't really want to hear, even the ones about love gone bad, didn't comfort me.

Then I found myself singing them to heaven. All my life, faith was as natural as breathing. I knew I could talk to Jesus no matter what I was going through, because of everything He went through.

One of the songs that gave me comfort,  was Gloria Estefan, I See Your Smile, especially this part.
'Cause I know I have to do this
Would you hold my hand right through it
'Cause when I close my eyes
I still can see your smile
It's bright enough to light my life
Out of my darkest hour
Please believe it's true
When I tell you I love you 

It was written about the relationship she had with her husband in the beginning, but for me, it reminds of my relationship with my husband as much as it did with the one I had to Jesus. 

I wasn't alone when I talked to Him. I could feel His smile and find peace in my soul, so I knew I was loved. He was the Light in my darkest hours because He filled me with hope.

No easy days, but He made it easier. No quick miracles, but He gave me strength and patience until mini-miracles turned into big ones.

He guided me to where I could learn about what my husband was going through, and what I went through. I gained the power to change by learning what was possible and how to find peace with what was impossible to change. Songs like this got us through all these years....we met in 1982.



Find something that gives you comfort, even if you have to tweak the meaning for what you need out of it.

Remember, it is your life....get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from PTSD

Gloria Estefan, I See Your Smile
I, get a little tongue twisted
Every time I talk to you
When I see you
And I'm so glad that you just missed it
The way I stared
To memorize your face.
To kiss you in my mind
Love you all the time
'Cause when I close my eyes
I still can see your smile
It's bright enought to light my life
Out of my darkest hour
Please believe it's true
When I tell you I love you
I've taken too many chances
Searching for the truth in love
That's in my heart
Tell me if I made the wrong advances
Tell me if I've made you feel ashamed
'Cause I know I have to do this
Would you hold my hand right through it
'Cause when I close my eyes
I still can see your smile
It's bright enough to light my life
Out of my darkest hour
Please believe it's true
When I tell you I love you
I had to let you know
Just what would happen
Yes, I had to let
You know the truth
I know I've got to do this
Would you hold my
Hand right through it
Would you
'Cause when I close my eyes
I still can see your smile
It's bright enough to light my life
Out of my darkest hour
'Cause when I close my eyes
I still can see your smile
It's bright enough to light my life
Out of my darkest hour
I know this
Is true when I
Tell you I love you

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Jon Secada / Miguel Morejon
I See Your Smile lyrics © Foreign Imported Prod. And Publishing 

"Can you imagine how I feel today?"

PTSD Patrol Kathie Costos June 15, 2021 "Can you imagine how I feel today?" is a question no one would have to ask if they talk...

PTSD Patrol

PTSD Patrol
It is your life, get in and drive it