Sunday, January 31, 2021

speed limit to healing

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 31, 2021

When someone is trying to heal from PTSD, they are the driver. It is up to them to set the speed they travel on this road. If you are trying to help them, you are the passenger and the navigator. Offering advice and trying to get them to keep going, is part of it but so is slowing them down when they go too fast.

A long time ago, I was helping a National Guardsman heal to prevent him from trying suicide for the 3rd time. It took 5 phone calls before he agreed to see a professional. I hadn't heard from him for a while but was talking to his Mom a few months later. I asked how he was doing and she said, "Well you cured him and he moved to Colorado." I told her that he was not cured and needed to get back home and back into theraphy. This didn't make sense to her at first, because the nightmares were just about gone and he was happier. I explained that could very well be true, but that didn't mean he was done.

The person needing healing is in control of the speed, but it is vital to the navigators to get them to ease up on the gas. The best way to put this is, on a highway, most of the drivers are doing it within limits set, or close to it. Sooner or later, some yahoo thinks limits are for everyone else but them, so they go zooming past everyone, weaving in and out of traffic, making the road dangerous for everyone else. Usually you'll see a police car with flashing lights going after them. Why? Because it is dangerous with a predictable bad outcome.

If you see a therapist, understand the client sets the speed they heal with. For some, they need to go very slow and carefully. For others, they talk so fast, it is hard to slow them down enough so they actually hear themselves talk.


This is why the feature video is Neil Diamond, He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother.

If you are trying to help someone, understand that you need to try to slow them down, get them to rest and refuel when they are running out of gas. Be there to guide them so they don't have to feel like they are alone on this road. 

Remember it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD


The road is long
With many a winding turn
That leads us to who knows where
Who knows where
But I'm strong
Strong enough to carry him
He ain't heavy, he's my brother
So on we go
His welfare is of my concern
No burden is he, to bear
We'll get there
For I know
He would not encumber me
He ain't heavy, he's my brother
If I'm laden at all
I'm laden with sadness
That everyone's heart
Isn't filled with the gladness
Of love for one another
It's a long, long road
From which there is no return
While we're on our way to there
Why not share
And the load
Doesn't weigh me down at all
He ain't heavy, he's my brother
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Bob Russell / Bobby Scott


In case the above video gets blocked...this is the offical one.

Saturday, January 30, 2021

where is your somewhere

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 30, 2021

Healing PTSD requires work, but it also requires rest and refreshing the dreams we once had. Whatever "it" was that took away so much from your life, there are things we simply give away because we give up on them.

"There's a place for us" or should I say "even us" who survived? 

This is why the feature video today is Barbra Streisand, Somewhere.

As far back as I can remember, I wanted to be a writer. My first three clashes with death happened before the age of 6. One of the results was brain injury which caused a speech impediment. Communicating orally was torture, so as I got older, I turned more and more to writing. You wouldn't know that because I do these daily videos, but I still prefer to write than speak.

What did you want your place in this world to be? Did you want to be a writer, artist, musician, or run a business? Whatever it was that you wanted to do, you can still do it. If I can, then anyone can. I just never figured out how to make a living doing it. That's OK since the goal was to make a difference, and that is what I want to accomplish.

Do what you feel drawn to do, no matter how successful you are, because it is still a part of you. The only limits you have are the ones you put on yourself. Reaching that creative part of you will also help you heal because it feeds your soul.
You can get there if you "remember, it is your life...get in and drive it" to the place where you want your somewhere to be.

"All things are possible to those who believe." 
Mark 9:23

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD.

Somewhere
Barbra Streisand

Someday, somewhere
We'll find a new way of living
Will find a way of forgiving
Somewhere
There's a place for us
Somewhere a place for us
Peace and quiet and open air wait for us
Somewhere
There's a time for us
Someday there'll be a time for us
Time together with time to spare
Time to learn, time to care
Someday, somewhere
We'll find a new way of living
Will find there's a way of forgiving
Somewhere, somewhere, somewhere
There's a place for us
A time and a place for us
Hold my hand and we're halfway there
Hold my hand and I'll take you there
Somehow, someday, somewhere

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Stephen Sondheim / Leonard Bernstein
Somewhere lyrics © Leonard Bernstein Music Publishing Co., Jalni Publishing, Inc. 

Friday, January 29, 2021

PTSD Patrol not backing down at gate of hell

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 29, 2021

Someone asked me why I haven't given up yet. After all, considering how long I've been doing this work, it is easy to think I'm a failure. I never made enough money to do this for a living, I'm not rich and have been introduced as "the most famous person you never heard of" for good reason. I've done the work for the sake of the work and nothing else.

As for the famous part, if you ever hear the term "suffering in silence" or "new normal" they are just a couple examples of the fact that the terms became famous, while "no one" heard of where they came from. New normal came from living with PTSD because everything we were going through was actually our normal life as survivors. Suffering in silence was in my first book because back then, no one was talking about PTSD, so anyone with it, felt they had to hide what was happening to us.

Not backing down is why today's feature video is I Won't Back Down
'A Song For Any Struggle': Tom Petty's 'I Won't Back Down' Is An Anthem Of Resolve
NPR 

Of all his many, many hit songs, the one that Tom Petty said had the most direct and powerful impact on his fans was "I Won't Back Down." 

Well, I won't back down
No, I won't back down
You can stand me up at the gates of hell
But I won't back down
The song was released in 1989 on Petty's solo album Full Moon Fever. The artist told interviewers that people would come up to him all the time, or would write to him, sharing stories of how this song — with its plainspoken message of resilience and empowerment — helped steer them through difficult times. 

"He told me that he heard, or read somewhere, that it brought a girl out of a coma," recalls his widow, Dana Petty. "It was her favorite song and they played it and she came out of a coma, which blew his mind." (click link for more)

The thing is, I never did and never will back down! You shouldn't either. I stood at the gates of hell and told PTSD I won't back down. I've gone after groups who just used our suffering for their own bank accounts and didn't back down. I wouldn't back down from fighting for my husband, anymore than I would back down on fighting for others to heal.

You may think that healing is a scary thing because suffering can become comfortable where there are no surprises and you don't go into the unknown. Healing can be a scary because it requires leaps of faith, work and change. That is the truth but it is also true that you won't ever get happy again until you heal and not settling for what "is" will make a happier life possible.

Don't back down just because you think it is hard. While it takes longer to heal than when "it" happened to you, it isn't harder than surviving it itself.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!



Tom Petty I Won't Back Down 


Well, I won't back down
No, I won't back down
You can stand me up at the gates of hell
But I won't back down
No, I'll stand my ground
Won't be turned around
And I'll keep this world from draggin' me down
Gonna stand my ground
And I won't back down
(I won't back down)
Hey, baby, there ain't no easy way out
(I won't back down)
Hey, I will stand my ground
And I won't back down
Well I know what's right
I got just one life
In a world that keeps on pushin' me around
But I'll stand my ground
And I won't back down
(I won't back down)
Hey, baby, there ain't no easy way out
(I won't back down)
Hey, I will stand my ground
And I won't back down
Hey baby, there ain't no easy way out
(I won't back down)
Hey, I won't back down
(I won't back down)
Hey, baby, there ain't no easy way out
(I won't back down)
Hey, I will stand my ground
And I won't back down
No, I won't back down

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Jeff Lynne / Tom Petty
I Won't Back Down lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Gone Gator Music 

Thursday, January 28, 2021

PTSD Ball of confusion

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 28, 2021

There is so much going on in this country right now that it can feel like the Twilight Zone to regular folks...but if you have PTSD, it can seem much worse at times. Let's face it....when you are already struggling, it can all seem worse. It can unless you have a wicked sense of humor about it, and that is vital to not letting all of it get to you.

Short term memory loss, can be a good thing at times, especially if you're paying attention to current events. I usually change the channel and watch a rerun of Criminal Minds and then the real news seems like a TV show.

Drama in Washington DC, with politicians acting like they are on a reality TV show usually raises my blood pressure, so I put on The West Wing, or one of the other shows that actually make sense since the writers understood politics better than today's politicians.

The pandemic is easy to replace since we're all hit in one way or another. Outbreak, is a good one and there are a lot more, but the ending is always the same where smart people rely on science and ethics to save lives.

A few thing to keep in mind is that while everything seems political these days, it isn't what the media plays on. The truth is, the majority of voters are Independents for a reason.
Republican 25
Independents 41
Democratic 31
If that doesn't put you in a better mood for a while, then there is always reruns of The Golden Girls! Golden Girls: 10 Times Dorothy Said Everything Fans Were Thinking


Try to not focus so much on the negative. Pay attention, sure, but do not let that take over what you need to do for you. We only have so much power over most of what is going on, but you do have a lot of power over your own life.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
Ball Of Confusion

People movin' out, people movin' in.
Why, because of the color of their skin.
Run, run, run, but you sho' can't hide
An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.
Vote for me and I'll set you free
Rap on, brother, rap on.
Well, the only person talkin' 'bout love thy brother is the preacher
And it seems nobody's interested in learning but the teacher
Segregation, determination, demonstration, integration, aggravation,
humiliation, obligation to our nation
Ball Of Confusion that's what the world is today (yeah, yeah)
The sale of pills is at an all time high 
young folks walkin' 'round with their heads in the sky 
Cities aflame in the summer time, and oh the beat goes on
Eve of destruction, tax deduction,
City inspectors, bill collectors,
Evolution, revolution, gun control, the sound of soul,
Shootin' rockets to the moon, kids growin' up too soon
Politicians say more taxes will solve ev'rything, and the band played on.
Round and round and around we go, where the world's headed nobody knows.
Great googa mooga, can't you hear me talkin' to you, just a 
Ball of Confusion that's what the world is today. (yeah, yeah)
Fear in the air, tension ev'rywhere
Unemployment rising fast, the Beatle's new record's a gas,
and the only safe place to live is on an Indian reservation, 
and the band played on
Eve of destruction, tax deduction,
City inspectors, bill collectors, mod clothes in demand,
population out of hand, suicide too many bills, hippies movin' to the hills
People all over the world are shouting end the war and the band played on.
Round and round and around we go, where the world's headed nobody knows.
Great googa mooga, can't you hear me talkin' to you, just a
Ball of Confusion that's what the world is today
Let me hear you, let me hear you, let me hear you
Ball Of Confusion that's what the world is today

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Norman Whitfield / Barrett Strong
Ball of Confusion (That's What the World Is Today) lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC 

from Sister Act II
and the original one from The Temptations

Wednesday, January 27, 2021

Surviving it when there is betrayal involved

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 27,2021

Today is not one of those chair dancing days. News came out that another of the DC Capitol Police Officers has taken their own life. That is two gone to suicide and another died after being beaten.
CNN Acting Metropolitan Police Chief Robert J. Contee told the House Appropriations Committee on Tuesday that two police officers have died by suicide since responding to the riot at the Capitol on January 6, according to Contee's opening statement before the committee, which was obtained by CNN. 
This is the first time the force has confirmed that two officers took their own lives after the attack.

"Tragically, two officers who were at the Capitol on January 6th, one each from the Capitol Police and MPD, took their own lives in the aftermath of that battle," Contee said in his statement.
Surviving trauma can suck for a while. Surviving it when there is betrayal involved is even worse. Trust in others has been lost. If the survivor needs to talk, which is vital to healing, they do not know who to trust. 

If you know someone who seems to be hurting, let them know you are there for them...the shut up and listen to them. Give them whatever time they need while paying attention to them...and only them. Do not try to fix them by doing anything other than helping them know you are there for them.

I know this in my own life because all the times I survived, I had people I could talk to. They listened until I was done talking...and often it was days or weeks later. They were my family and knew nothing about psychology. I was able to feel safe and start to deal with it. 

They gave lousy advice, but just be prepared for that, because all you need to know from them is, you matter to them. Trust will return but it will take time.

When I needed more help than they could give, I saw a therapist and it helped too!

Remember, it is your life...get in a drive it and if you know someone who needs help...get in and drive it to them!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD
Because of the two officers who died by suicide, this is for them.

Sarah McLachlan New "Angel" Video and PSA



The Pretenders - I'll Stand By You

Oh, why you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don't be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
'Cause I've seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you
You don't know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
So if you're mad, get mad
Don't hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
Hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
Well I'm a lot like you
When you're standing at the crossroads
And don't know which path to choose
Let me come along
'Cause even if you're wrong
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
And when
When the night falls on you, baby
You're feeling all alone
You won't be on your own
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Thomas Kelly / Christine Hynde / Billy Steinberg
I'll Stand by You lyrics © BMG Rights Management 

Tuesday, January 26, 2021

Who are you to you?

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 26, 2021

When you think about yourself, what do tell yourself? What are you to you? What do you think of yourself? What do you think your faults are and what are your qualities? If you don't know yourself, then how could anyone else really know you?

I am a wife, mother, dog-Mom, advocate, writer, fighter, and I don't give up. I am a Christian who takes the words of Jesus seriously and know it is not my job to judge anyone but myself. My flaws begin with a hot temper I constantly have to keep in check for several reasons but the biggest one is I am a Chaplain. Another flaw is I don't quit so that leads to problems when I need figure out if something is worth fighting for or not, because I'd be fighting too many battles and winning none them. That lesson I had to learn the hard way. I do judge the actions of others and have to pray hard to be able to forgive them....but usually I do. The list goes on but would take too long to list.

Today, there are two different videos with the title I Am. One is Popeye. "I am what I am" and he was fine with it. Sure he had flaws but all of us do. (There is also a bonus on this one since I loved Robin Williams.)

BONUS

What do you think about yourself? Make a list with what your flaws are first. Then make a list on your qualities next to it. After that, add in what goals you have for yourself and what are the possibilities for your future. 

Work on what you can change and then acknowledge what you cannot change so that you can keep it in check...like I do with my temper.

The second video on I AM is about a solid relationship with someone who does understand everything we are, as much as He knew who we were, and what we can be.

When I was trying to heal from multiple traumas in my own life, faith was my fuel and I knew I was not alone. It made it easier to talk to other people.



I Am
David Crowder

There's no space that His love can't reach
There's no place that we can't find peace
There's no end to Amazing Grace
Take me in with your arms spread wide
Take me in like an orphan child
Never let go, never leave my side
I am
Holding on to You
I am
Holding on to You
In the middle of the storm
I am holding on
I am!
Love like this, oh my God to find!
I am overwhelmed what a joy divine!
Love like this sets our hearts on fire!
I am
Holding on to You
I am
Holding on to You
In the middle of the storm
I am holding on
I am!
I am
Holding on to You
I am
Holding on to You
In the middle of the storm
I am holding on
I am!
This is my resurrection song
This is my Hallelujah come
This is why to You I run
This is my resurrection song
This is my Hallelujah come
This is why to You I run
There's no space that His love can't reach
There's no place that we can't find peace
There's no end to Amazing Grace
I am
Holding on to You
I am
Holding on to You
In the middle of the storm
I am holding on
I am
Holding on to You
I am
Holding on to You
In the middle of the storm
I am holding on
I am
Holding on to You
I am
Holding on to You
In the middle of the storm
I am holding on
I am!
I am
In the middle of the storm
I am holding on
I am!

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Ed Cash / David Crowder
I Am lyrics © Capitol Christian Music Group 

Reminder if you think God did it to you, He didn't.
I am not sure why this ended up being restricted but it is a message that should not be... This is the message!
There is suddenly a lot of talk about "moral injury" and combat PTSD. It is survivor's guilt adding to what is known as PTSD but unlike other causes of PTSD, this one is harder to heal from. The good news is, you were not judged by God but He has put what you need to heal already in your soul. It is my job to connect you to it again. Contact PTSD Patrol to #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Monday, January 25, 2021

Learn to not give up on you

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 25, 2021

How many times have people judged you wrongly? How many walked away from you instead of standing by your side? How many people just gave up on you? It happens all the time. I know it has happened most of the time in my life. The thing is, I wasn't going to let them make me give up on myself.

The best revenge against people like that is to recover, heal and thrive. The only way that happens is if you don't give up on yourself.
There are not many people watching these videos and that is OK. I am used to not getting much support. Instead of helping me, most of the people I knew either walked away from me or used me, but none of them stopped me from being "me" all the time.

I had to convince myself that I was worth my time and energy, even if I wasn't worth theirs. That is why today the featured video is Amy Grant, Not Giving Up On You.

If you don't have anyone in your life saying they are not giving up on you, then look in the mirror and say it to yourself. If people do not see you are worth it, then see it in yourself. Don't let them stop you from being your best.

The thing is, the best revenge against all those who made you feel like you should just crawl into a hole, is to be happy with yourself. That is something they will never really know.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD


If you think you're gonna fail
Well, you're probably gonna fail
So tell me, what was all the dreaming for?
And if you think you're gonna lose
Well, you're probably gonna lose
So what's the point in trying anymore?
What you're looking for, you'll find
It happens every time
I'm not giving up,
Not giving up on you
You can say you've had enough
But I won't stop calling,
I'm not giving up,
Not giving up on you
Not giving up on you
When your fragile heart is breaking
And your confidence is shaken
I can tell you that we've all been there before
The first step is hard to take
But it's a choice you gotta make
When life is waiting through that open door
I wish that you could see
The way you look to me
I'm not giving up,
Not giving up on you
You can say you've had enough
But I won't stop calling,
I'm not giving up,
Not giving up on you
Not giving up on you
Oh, not so long ago,
You pulled me through
So I'm not giving up,
Not giving up on you
Even if the rain comes down
And your sky is falling
I'm not giving up,
Not giving up on you
You can say you've had enough
But I won't stop calling,
I'm not giving up,
Not giving up on you
You know we can work this out
If we just keep talking
I'm not giving up,
Not giving up on you
Not giving up on you
Cause is you think you have a chance
Then you really have a chance
I hope you know that I believe in you

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Luke Robert Laird / Amy Lee Grant / Marshall Noah Altman / Molly Elizabeth Reed
Not Giving Up lyrics © Warner-tamerlane Publishing Corp., Universal Music - Careers, Made For This Music, Razor And Tie Music Publishing, Songs Of The Galt Line 

Sunday, January 24, 2021

Nobody gonna steal my head

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 24, 2021

My husband's vehicle is a Harley. It doesn't matter how fast it can go, because I don't know how to drive it. My vehicle is a KIA Sportage. I know how to drive it. It wouldn't matter if it was out of gas. It wouldn't matter if the battery was dead. The thing is, we know how to move our vehicles forward so we are not stuck in the garage.

People understand the vehicles they drive a lot better than they understand the vehicles they live in...their own bodies that what makes them who they are. Their minds and souls are in that vehicle. As soon as we understand that the power to operated our own vehicles and how they work, the sooner we heal.

You didn't control what caused PTSD in you. You do control your own life as a survivor of it.

When you survive it is never too late to learn how to drive your life forward and get out of the garage. It doesn't matter what you can do with your life if you don't know you can do it! If you know that but never learn how to do it, then that will do you no good either.

Learn how do drive your life forward just as you learned how to drive the vehicle you drive.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from PTSD
Today's featured video is Deep Purple, Highway Star
Nobody gonna take my head
I got speed inside my brain
Nobody gonna steal my head
Now that I'm on the road again
Oooh I'm in heaven again 
I've got everything
Like a moving ground an open road
And everything
I love it and I need it
I seed it
Eight cylinders all mine
Alright hold on tight
I'm a highway star

Nobody gonna take my car
I'm gonna race it to the ground
Nobody gonna beat my car
It's gonna break the speed of sound
Oooh it's a killing machine
It's got everything
Like a driving power big fat tires
And everything
I love it and I need it
I bleed it 
Yeah it's a wild hurricane
Alright hold tight
I'm a highway star
Nobody gonna take my girl
I'm gonna keep her to the end
Nobody gonna have my girl
She stays close on every bend
Oooh she's a killing machine
She's got everything
Like a moving mouth body control
And everything
I love her I need her
I seed her
Yeah she turns me on
Alright hold on tight
I'm a highway star
Nobody gonna take my head
I got speed inside my brain
Nobody gonna steal my head
Now that I'm on the road again
Oooh I'm in heaven again 
I've got everything
Like a moving ground an open road
And everything
I love it and I need it
I seed it
Eight cylinders all mine
Alright hold on tight
I'm a highway star
Nobody gonna take my car
I'm gonna race it to the ground
Nobody gonna beat my car
It's gonna break the speed of sound
Oooh it's a killing machine
It's got everything
Like a driving power big fat tires
And everything
I love it and I need it
I bleed it
Yeah it's a mad hurricane
Alright hold on tight
I'm a highway star
I'm a highway star
I'm a highway star

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Roger Glover / Jon Lord / Ian Gillan / Ritchie Blackmore / Ian Paice
Highway Star / Not Fade Away lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC 

Healing PTSD is a human need. My other site Wounded Times is one I don't post much on since I started working with everyone trying to heal PTSD. It still reaches people around the world.

4.78 million page views says a lot about the need humans have to find information and hope.

Saturday, January 23, 2021

Faith enough to fight

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 23, 2021

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
John 13:34-35
If someone hates someone else, that is not how Jesus said they should be. It is OK to hate what people do, but we're suppose to forgive them, just as we want to be forgiven. This is very important when you are trying to heal, especially if PTSD was caused by what some did to us.

I know it is hard, but it was harder to carry that inside of me, consuming room inside my soul where love could have been...should have been. There was a time when anger was taking control of my life and I didn't like myself.

I am basically a happy person. I have a hot temper, but I normally blow up, then let it go. Most of the time I want to hug afterwards. Still, there was a time when I couldn't do that. I knew I needed help. 

My primary care doctor recommended a few therapists who specialized in trauma. I made a couple of calls, but they couldn't even answer basic questions. Keep in mind that I had been researching PTSD, living with it and knew enough to know they did not know enough. Then I made a call to a woman who did know more than basics...she was an expert.

Little by little, the anger was losing power and hope was restoring happiness.  She is the reason I wrote my first book, For The Love Of Jack, His War/MyBattle. It tells the story of our life covering 18 years because it was first published in 2002. I republished in and put in a few updates, but didn't feel the need to update more. I said all I needed to say in it.

We wouldn't still be together if we did not have a deep love. We wouldn't still be together if we did not know how to forgive. I wouldn't have had what I needed to get through any of these years had it not been for God in my heart first.

Don't get me wrong, none of it was easy, but faith made it easier. I did not fight any battle alone and you don't have to either!

Get Together
Youngbloods 

Love is but a song we sing
Fear's the way we die
You can make the mountains ring
Or make the angels cry
Though the bird is on the wing
And you may not know why
Come on, people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another right now
Some may come and some may go
He will surely pass
When the one that left us here
Returns for us at last
We are but a moment's sunlight
Fading in the grass
Come on, people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another right now
Come on, people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another right now
Come on, people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another right now
If you hear the song I sing
You will understand, listen
You hold the key to love and fear
All in your trembling hand
Just one key unlocks them both
It's there at your command
Come on, people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another right now
Come on, people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another right now
I said come on, people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another right now
Right now
Right now

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Jesse Colin Young
Get Together lyrics © Bernard's Other Music, Tenyor Music, Pigfoot Music, Irving Music Inc. 

Friday, January 22, 2021

Don't let PTSD take first place in your life

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 22, 2021

"Do you know where you're going to? Do you like the things that life is showing you?" If you don't then you are looking at life as it is, instead of how it could be. If you like what you see, then you are part way there to achieving better than this.

If you don't like it, then change it. See yourself as a survivor, because that is exactly what you are. You defeated whatever hit you that started PTSD. You are the one who decides what your life will be afterwards.

Don't let PTSD take first place in your life anymore. You beat "it" so don't come in second place now. There is so much more out there for you if you try to find it. Sitting there won't get you to it. 


Remember, it is your life...get in and drive.
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife From PTSD
Do You Know
Jennifer Lopez

Do you know where you're goin' to?
Do you like the things that life's been showin' you?
Where are you goin' to
Do you know?
Do you get what you're hopin' for?
When you look behind you there's no open door
What are you hopin' for
Do you know?
Once we were standing still in time
Chasin' the fantasies that filled our minds
You knew how I loved you but my spirit was free
Laughin' at the questions that you once asked of me
Do you know where you're goin' to?
Do you like the things that life's been showin' you?
Where are you goin' to
Do you know?
Now looking back at all we planned
We let so many dreams just slip through our hands
Why must we wait so long before we see
How sad the answers to those questions can be?
Do you know where you're goin' to?
Do you like the things that life's been showin' you?
Where are you goin' to
Do you know?
Do you get what you're hopin' for?
When you look behind you there's no open door
What are you hopin' for
Do you know?
Do you know?

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Masser Michael / Goffin Gerald

Thursday, January 21, 2021

This is how we heal....with hope of better days!

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 21, 2021

I am sure you've heard the term "positive thinking" but I think that should be changed to the power of empowerment thinking. You are the only one with the power to change your life. Do you listen to the people who feed you negativity or do you listen to the people who offer you hope of a better life and better days ahead for you?

That has been the message of PTSD Patrol. Last night that message shined in the Celebration of the Inauguration special. It was filled with inspiring, average people who decided to do whatever they could to make a difference with whatever power they had.

Most of them were young kids. I am sure they had people tell them that it was such a huge problem, they couldn't make a difference, as much as I am sure they have supportive parents helping them. It didn't matter to them how successful they would be, because they knew even changing one life, was worth doing. That is how miracles happen.
 
There were a lot of fabulous singers in this program, and you can watch the whole thing at the bottom of this post. The song that stood out the most for me last night was Better Days. So much power in those few words of assurance that things don't have to suck forever.

Knowing that things can get better is empowering. Seeing others doing it changes lives too because others realize the only limits they have are the ones they put on themselves.

Do you want to listen to people who tell you to just give up because nothing is going to change? Or do you listen to people who inspire you to change what you can?  If you are like me, that will make you want to do it even more...just to prove them wrong!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD


Better Days
Ant Clemons and Justin Timberlake

There's a light at the end of the tunnel
Keep your eyes on the road ahead
But if you're feeling lost in the night
It's okay to cry
Just as long as you hold your head
'Cause we're on our way to better
Better's ahead, better's ahead
It get's worse 'fore it gets better
But better's ahead, better's ahead
Better days are comin' (better and better and better, ooh-ooh)
Better days are comin' (ooh-ooh, better days)
Better days, better days (better and better and better, oh-ooh)
Better days are comin' (better days, better days)
I know you've been kicked down
Slept on, let down, faith gone
Waited for too long for somethin' to lean on (lean on)
You feel weak, just be strong (ooh)
Deep breath, stay calm
If you just press on, press on, press on
You gon' see there's a light at the end of the tunnel (at the end of the tunnel)
Keep your eyes on the road ahead (on the road ahead)
And if you're feelin' lost in the night (lost in the night)
It's okay to cry (it's okay to cry)
Just as long as you hold your head
'Cause we're on our way to better (ah)
Better's ahead (better), better's ahead (ah)
It get's worse 'fore it gets better (ah-ah-ah)
But better's ahead, better's ahead
Better days are comin' (better and better and better, ooh-ooh, I know, I know)
Better days are comin' (ooh-ooh)
(Better days, better days, better and better and better, ooh-ooh)
And better days are comin' (ooh-ooh)
(Better days, better days)
I know you feel left out and stepped on
Keep goin', keep goin'
Shine bright, don't dim yours for no one
Keep goin' higher, and higher and higher and higher
Better days, better days are comin' (better days)
Better days, better days (on their way) are comin' ('cause I know)
Better days, better days (better days) are comin' (yeah)
Better days (comin'), better days (I know)
Better days are comin'

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Anthony Clemons Jr. / Jacob Kasher Hindlin / Justin Timberlake / Kenny Dixon
Better Days lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

(not in the program last night but another empowerment message of hope of better days)
Better Days
One Republic

Oh, I know that there'll be better days
Oh, that sunshine 'bout to come my way
May we never ever shed another tear for today
'Cause oh, I know that there'll be better days
Wakin' up in California
But these clouds they won't go away
Everyday is like another storm, yeah
I'm just tryin' not to go insane
Yeah, and the city shinin' so bright
So many dark nights, so many dark days
But any time I feel the paranoia
I close my eyes and I pray
Oh, I know that there'll be better days
Oh, that sunshine 'bout to come my way
May we never ever shed another tear for today
'Cause oh, I know that there'll be better days
Been wakin' up to a new year
Got the past million miles away
I'm waking up with a new fear (new fear)
But I know it'll wash away
Whatever you do, don't worry 'bout me
I'm thinkin' 'bout you, don't worry 'bout us
'Cause in the morning everything can change, yeah
And time will tell you it does
Oh, I know that there'll be better days
Oh, that sunshine 'bout to come my way
May we never ever shed another tear for today
'Cause oh, I know that there'll be better days
Better days
Better days
Better days
Better days
May we never ever shed another tear for today
'Cause oh, I know that there'll be better days
May we never ever shed another tear for today
'Cause oh, I know that there'll be better days

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Brent Michael Kutzle / John Nathaniel / Ryan B Tedder
Better Days lyrics © Downtown Music Publishing 

If you didn't see IN FULL: 'Celebrating America' - Tom Hanks hosts concert for Joe Biden's inauguration, here it is. It restored my faith in the American people seeing so many others across the country doing whatever they can to help others make it through these hard times. This is how we heal....with hope of better days!

Wednesday, January 20, 2021

stop lying and start healing

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January, 20, 2021

Dealing with PTSD is a lot like current events. "We study the past to understand the present; we understand the present to guide the future." William Lund.

Today we saw the end of something horrible and beginning of something hopeful. The horrible is reminder of what happened a few weeks ago at the same Capitol where the new President replaced the old one on those same steps, in that same building.





Many people realized they had been lied to and that is what caused them to attack the People's House. Families are wondering what happened to people they love that changed them. They are turning them into the FBI, and so are co-workers, neighbors, and others who were there.

First step in healing is to understand why people believe lies. The first reason is they believe the liar and it was something they wanted to hear. If you regret it, then admit it, apologize to those you hurt, and it is up to them to forgive you or not. You won't know what is possible until you attempt to restore the relationship. If they hurt you, then forgive them.


Smiling Faces
The Temptations 

Smiling faces sometimes pretend to be your friend.
Smiling faces show no traces of the evil that lurks within.
Smiling faces, Smiling Faces, Sometimes they don't tell the truth.
Smiling faces, smiling faces tell lies and I got proof.
The truth is in the eye 'cause the eyes don't lie, amen.
Remember, a smile is just a frown turned upside down my friend.
So, hear me when I'm saying
Smiling faces, Smiling Faces, Sometimes they don't tell the truth.
Smiling faces, smiling faces tell lies and I got proof.
Beware. Beware of the handshake that hides the snake, 
I'm tellin' you beware of the pat on the back it just might hold you back.
Jealousy, (Jealousy) misery, (misery) envy.
I tell you you can't see behind
Smiling faces, Smiling Faces, Sometimes they don't tell the truth.
Smiling faces, smiling faces tell lies and I got proof.
Your enemy won't do you no harm, 'cause you'll know where he's comin' from;
don't let the handshake and the smile fool ya.
Take my advice I'm only tryin' to school ya.
Smiling faces, Smiling Faces, Sometimes they don't tell the truth.

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Barrett Strong / Norman Whitfield
Smiling Faces Sometimes lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC 



If you are trying to heal PTSD, some people may have lied to you too. Surviving started out as something good, but it went downhill because of lies. Someone may have said something that wasn't true and you believed them. Maybe you told the lies to yourself? Lies, like you are stuck, life isn't going to get any better, there is no hope or you cannot heal. It is time to tell the truth to those who lied to you, and tell yourself the truth too.

The truth is, you can heal step by step, if you keep trying and are willing to do the work. That is why the other featured video today is the theme from Rocky III. He didn't give up. Think about him running up all those steps and reached the top with is victory dance in the first one. That is what healing can feel like for you!

And then imagine what your life can be like by the time you understand you are a survivor!




Eye Of The Tiger
Survivor 
Rising up, back on the street
Did my time, took my chances
Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet
Just a man and his will to survive
So many times it happens too fast
You change your passion for glory
Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past
You must fight just to keep them alive
It's the eye of the tiger
It's the thrill of the fight
Rising up to the challenge of our rival
And the last known survivor
Stalks his prey in the night
And he's watching us all with the eye of the tiger
Face to face, out in the heat
Hanging tough, staying hungry
They stack the odds 'til we take to the street
For the kill with the skill to survive
It's the eye of the tiger
It's the thrill of the fight
Rising up to the challenge of our rival
And the last known survivor
Stalks his prey in the night
And he's watching us all with the eye of the tiger
Rising up straight to the top
Had the guts, got the glory
Went the distance, now I'm not going to stop
Just a man and his will to survive
It's the eye of the tiger
It's the thrill of the fight
Rising up to the challenge of our rival
And the last known survivor
Stalks his prey in the night
And he's watching us all with the eye of the tiger
The eye of the tiger

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Peterik James M / Sullivan Frank Michael
Eye of the Tiger lyrics © Wb Music Corp., Sony/atv Melody, Easy Action Music 

Tuesday, January 19, 2021

There is a huge difference between being alone and being lonely

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 19, 2020

There is a huge difference between being alone and being lonely. A lot of people are fine being alone. I don't know anyone who is OK with being lonely. That is why the featured video today is White Snake Here I Go Again.

When I lived in Florida, I was involved with a lot of groups. I did a lot for them, doing videos to give them publicity, supporting their events and talking with individual members to help them with their personal problems. The truth is, I never felt like I belonged. I was lonely in huge groups and it sucked.

The thing is, it made me feel like the only way to fit in was to sacrifice what I thought, what I believed and who I was. That is something I have never been willing to do...and never will.

I am involved in a lot of groups on Facebook and it turns out, a lot of people felt the same way. They felt as if they didn't belong anywhere, until they found groups of like minded people, where they could share their thoughts and be supported by others. Most of the time, the new comers to the groups, including me, felt grateful they found a place for them.

If you are struggling with PTSD, then you need to do the same. Find groups where you do feel welcome, just as you are. A place where the people there do what you to change, but only changing from fighting on your own to letting them help you fight to be happier. They are out there.

Groups where they will support you, help you, guide you and then one day, you can do the same for them. Places where the only goal is to help healing take over your life, as you want to live it.

I know what it is like to be alone and it is OK but no one should ever feel lonely when there are so many others out there. After all, that is the reason why I started working on PTSD almost 40 years ago...knowing you are not alone is the greatest gift you can give to yourself!


Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

I don't know where I'm goin'
But I sure know where I've been
Hanging on the promises in songs of yesterday
An' I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time
Here I go again, here I go again
Tho' I keep searching for an answer
I never seem to find what I'm looking for
Oh Lord, I pray you give me strength to carry on
'Cause I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams
Here I go again on my own
Goin' down the only road I've ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
An' I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time
Just another heart in need of rescue
Waiting on love's sweet charity
An' I'm gonna hold on for the rest of my days
'Cause I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams
And here I go again on my own
Goin' down the only road I've ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
An' I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time
But here I go again, here I go again,
Here I go again, here I go
'Cause I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams
Here I go again on my own
Goin' down the only road I've ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
An' I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time
Here I go again on my own
Goin' down the only road I've ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
'Cause I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams
Here I go again on my own
Goin' down the only road I've ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: David Coverdale / Bernie Marsden
Here I Go Again lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner Chappell Music, Inc 

Monday, January 18, 2021

this is a reminder of what it feels like to be happy

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 18, 2021

Things suck right now. The whole country has gone bonkers. It makes me angry to turn on the TV, so much so I don't know if I want to throw something at it, unplug it or what...I just know I needed a break.
I put on the oldies station and there it was. We're not just talking chair dancing song! It was full blown open the windows, crank up the music and dance. It isn't summer here in New Hampshire, so I settled for dancing throughout the house and it felt good!

We all need a break from the pandemic and the chaos in every single state. We need a break from feeling bad, helpless and depressed. Changes are coming but the horrors that brought us to this point were like days from hell.

So, this is a reminder of what it feels like to be happy. A few years ago, Scott Simon was talking about what happened in the hospital one night....
Why 'Dancing In The Street' Gets The People Going?
NPR
Scott Simon

......And then, everyone in line — including the elderly couple in front of me, who I would learn were there because their granddaughter had been clipped by a car, and the teenage barista standing behind the counter — seemed to light up at the same time. We all sang out: "They're dancing in Chicago."

Then we laughed, smiled and began to talk to each other about why we were there, how long it had been, and what we remembered and loved about this song. We were dancing in Chicago.

"Dancing in the Street" is a song that stirs our souls. Great anthems do. But no less than the great Martha Reeves, who gave it such a powerful voice, says it was first and last a dance song.

"The song is about love and feeling free enough to dance in the street," she told me in a conversation recorded for Weekend Edition Saturday. "You don't have to worry about cars hitting you. You don't have to worry about policemen coming and telling you you can't dance in the street."
read the rest here


We have National Guards deployed all over the country, blocking off streets and standing guard over the state houses. Security is on high alert for domestic terrorists in Washington DC because of what happened when the Capitol was attacked because of an election. A raging pandemic and people refusing to wear masks or actually pay attention to the fact there is a raging pandemic. It all sucks! 

But, consider when this song came out it was1964! Protests were happening all over the country against the Vietnam War and yes, a very terrible time, but because of that, we ended up with songs like this.



Calling out around the world
Are you ready for a brand new beat
Summer's here and the time is right
For dancing in the street
They're dancing in Chicago
Down in New Orleans
Up in New York City
All we need is music, sweet music
There'll be music everywhere
There'll be swinging swaying records playing
Dancing in the street
Oh it doesn't matter what you wear
Just as long as you are there
So come on every guy grab a girl
Everywhere around the world
They'll be dancing
They're dancing in the street
It's just an invitation across the nation
A chance for folks to meet
There'll be laughing, singing, music swinging
Dancing in the street
Philadelphia, PA
Baltimore and D.C. now
Can't forget the Motor City
All we need is music, sweet music
There'll be music everywhere
There'll be swinging, swaying, records playing
Dancing in the street
Oh it doesn't matter what you wear
Just as long as you are there
So come on ev'ry guy grab a girl
Ev'rywhere around the world
Dancing
They're dancing in the street
Way down in L.A.
Every day
(Dancing in the street)
Across the ocean blue, me and you
We're dancing in the street
(Dancing in the street)

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Stanley Lebowsky / John Lehmann
Dancing In The Street (Stereo) lyrics © Stone Agate Music, Nmg Music, Mgiii Music, Fcg Music, Jobete Music Co Inc 

And for the rest of us old people who grew up with the original
When things suck, people take action to change it. After all, that is why we have all the treatment available for trauma survivors! Things sucked over 40 years ago, and people decided to make it better for everyone. Research on PTSD started because Vietnam veterans came home and fought for it. They are the reason we ended up with what we have and others who still fight for more research are the reason things will keep getting better!

For us, not being willing to settle for suffering, our lives got better too!

So, take a break, and do some dancing to remind you of better days for all of us.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

"Can you imagine how I feel today?"

PTSD Patrol Kathie Costos June 15, 2021 "Can you imagine how I feel today?" is a question no one would have to ask if they talk...

PTSD Patrol

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It is your life, get in and drive it