Sunday, February 28, 2021

sometimes the most powerful thing is what you believe

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 28, 2021

Today's feature video has me very confused. The first video I saw was a lyric video and gave me great comfort. The other one was a video where actors had me thinking a totally different way.

That is what life is like. If you don't know what the message of PTSD is, then you think from your imagination. Often that is not a good place to spend your time. If you know what the message is telling you, then you can imagine yourself healing and life getting better. Sometimes it is not just a matter of what you know, or what you just think you know, but sometimes the most powerful thing is what you believe.

If you believe there is no hope for you, then you are trapped. If you believe in something that offers hope, then you have enough fuel to seek it out. 

For me, I am sustained by faith and hope. I take comfort from what I know and even more from what I believe. When I heard Don't Deserve You, all I could think about was Jesus and how no one really deserves Him or what He did for us.

You never give up
When I'm falling apart
Your arms are always open wide
And You're quick to forgive
When I make a mistake
You love me in the blink of an eye
I don't deserve Your love
But You give it to me anyway
Can't get enough
You're everything I need
And when I walk away
You take off running and come right after me
But what if you do not believe Jesus was real? You can still understand because you could have been involved in an accident where someone else did not survive. You could have survived combat. You could have survived one of the mass shootings where you lost a friend. You may have thought they deserved to live more than you did. That can haunt you. Sometimes, what we imagine, is what determines the rest of our lives as survivors.

I am Greek Orthodox and believe in the Holy Trinity. For me, that was constantly part of my life. My parents passed away. My brothers passed away. People came into and out of my life, all my life. Each one became a part of me, for sadly for worse sometimes, but mostly for better. What I believe plays a huge part in how I think about music and the message I take from it.

This is the video I took great comfort from.
If the message you receive is one of comfort, then it changes your mood for the better. It fills you up with hope and reminds you that you do matter. It tells you that you are not alone believing you don't deserve someone loving you but when they do, you understand that someone believes you are worth loving.

When we understand that we cannot change what has been, helps us know, we have something to build what we want become.


Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Don't Deserve You 
Plumb 

You're the first face that I see
And the last thing I think about
You're the reason that I'm alive
You're what I can't live without
You're what I can't live without
You never give up
When I'm falling apart
Your arms are always open wide
And You're quick to forgive
When I make a mistake
You love me in the blink of an eye
I don't deserve Your love
But You give it to me anyway
Can't get enough
You're everything I need
And when I walk away
You take off running and come right after me
It's what You do
And I don't deserve You
You're the light inside my eyes
You give me a reason to keep trying
You give me more than I could dream
And You bring me to my knees
You bring me to my knees
Your heart is gold and how am I the one
That You've chosen to love
I still can't believe that You're right next to me
After all that I've done
I don't deserve Your love
But You give it to me anyway
Can't get enough
You're everything I need
And when I walk away
You take off running and come right after me
It's what You do
And I don't deserve You

I don't deserve a chance like this
I don't deserve a love that gives me everything
You're everything I want
I don't deserve Your love
But You give it to me anyway
Can't get enough
You're everything I need
And when I walk away
You take off running and come right after me
It's what You do
And I don't deserve You
And I don't deserve You

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Matt Bronleewe / Tiffany Arbuckle / Paul Van Dyke
Don't Deserve You lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., Warner Chappell Music, Inc, Essential Music Publishing

This is the video that got me confused!


Saturday, February 27, 2021

be between their pain and glory

The following is from my business site

Moral Mortal

Kathie Costos
February 25, 2021

Do you want to be the best thing that ever happened to them? Isn't that why you got into the mental health field? You remember what they looked like the first time they came to see you. Their life was a mess and they were depressed, feeling lost and confused. They took their last bit of hope and reached out to you for help. You also know the rush you get when you see someone walk out your door for the last time, with a smile on their face. It is the one field where not having returning customers is success!

With so much competition out there, you need all the help you can get to help more people. I know that feeling. For 38 years, I dedicated my life to helping veterans and families find their way toward healing...by sending them to therapists when they were ready for more help than I could give.

Back in 1993 when I started working online, I was easy to find. Not much competition back then. The other good thing is, everyone was in the work for the right reasons. Most of us had personal connections to PTSD. We understood it, lived with it, and learned how to take back our lives from it. We passed on that knowledge we obtained the hard way to make it easier for others.

When the veteran suicide report from the Department of Veterans Affairs came out in 2012, there was a flood of people rushing to push the headline of "22 a day" when they didn't bother to read the whole report. Thousands of charities popped up and it became a billion dollar industry. The pioneers in the field, doing the work for the right reasons, we pushed out of the way. Most of the people I knew back when we started, gave up. I almost did too but I had some support from professionals convincing me that  clearing the way toward hope was essential.

With over 600 videos, three books, thousands of articles, almost 4 decades of research, and lives saved, I want you to feel like you are the best thing that ever happened to your patients. That is why I am offering a service geared to your success story. 

I can set up a blog for you, provide posts written specifically for your work and help you reach more lives you can turn around.

Those are the results for Wounded Times
Those are the results for PTSD Patrol

Call me and let's talk about how you can help more people, like me, since I went to therapy a couple of times. My therapist was one of the best things that ever happened to me. She encouraged me to write my first book!

407-754-7526 Florida number but now live in New Hampshire!

You're The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me 

I've had my share of life's ups and downs
But fate's been kind, the downs have been few
I guess you could say that I've been lucky
And I guess you could say, it's all because of you
If anyone should ever write my life story
For whatever reason there might be
You'd be there between each line of pain and glory
'Cause you're the best thing that ever happened to me
You're the best thing that ever happened to me
Oh, there have been times when the times were so hard
But somehow, some way I'd made it through
And for every moment I've spent hurting
There's been moments spent loving you
If anyone should ever write my life story
For whatever reason there might be
You'd be there between each line of pain and glory
'Cause you're the best thing that ever happened to me
You're the best thing that ever happened to me

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: James D. Weatherly
You're the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing Group 

Friday, February 26, 2021

healing the broken hearted

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 26, 2021

Honoring your feelings is sometimes really hard. It is especially hard if you had someone in your life, who is now out of your life. It is hard when they pass away, just as it is hard when they walk away. When they leave, they take a piece of your with them.

Honor that loss and let out all the bad emotions, so good ones can move in. A day will come when you stop thinking about the loss and remember the good they put into your life.

Today the featured video is What Becomes Of The Broken Hearted.

"I'll be looking everyday, I know I'm gonna find a way
Nothing's gonna stop me now
I'll find a way somehow
And I'll be searching everywhere
I know I gotta find a way
I'll be looking"
There are so many reasons people leave us. When you have PTSD, that loss hits harder. Maybe they passed away during the event that caused PTSD. Maybe they left you because of PTSD in them, or you. Maybe you reached out and they walked away. Maybe you were hurting so much you pushed them away. 

Honor the grief and loss. Honor whatever you are going through so you can heal. When you are ready, someone else may come into your life and you'll find a reason to trust them. Someone will help you heal your broken heart and fill the space the other one left empty.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

What Becomes Of The Broken Hearted
Jimmy Ruffin 

As I walk this land with broken dreams
I have visions of many things
But happiness is just an illusion
Filled with sadness and confusion
What becomes of the broken-hearted
Who had love that's now departed?
I know I've got to find 
Some kind of peace of mind
Maybe
The roots of love grow all around
But for me they come a-tumblin' down
Every day heartaches grow a little stronger
I can't stand this pain much longer
I walk in shadows searching for light
Cold and alone, no comfort in sight
Hoping and praying for someone to care
Always moving and goin' nowhere
What becomes of the broken-hearted
Who had love that's now departed?
I know I've got to find 
Some kind of peace of mind
Help me
I'm searching, though I don't succeed
But someone look, there's a growing need
Oh, he is lost, there's no place for beginning
All that's left is an unhappy ending
Now, becomes of the broken-hearted
Who had love that's now departed?
I know I've got to find
Some kind of peace of mind
I'll be searching everywhere
Just to find someone to care
I'll be looking everyday, I know I'm gonna find a way
Nothing's gonna stop me now
I'll find a way somehow
And I'll be searching everywhere
I know I gotta find a way
I'll be looking

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: James Anthony Dean / Paul Riser / William Henry Witherspoonn
What Becomes Of The Brokenhearted lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC 

Robson and Jerome - What Becomes Of The Broken Hearted?

Wednesday, February 24, 2021

PTSD: last time for their last chance?

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 24, 2021

How many times should you try to get someone you love to get help? How many different ways do you try to explain it, get them to stop denying what you see so clearly, and seek help? How many times do you put up with their mood swings, paranoia, overblown reactions, accusations and general nastiness, before you have had enough? How many times do you take them walking out the door and not knowing if you want them to come back in it again, before you start to think about changing the locks?

When you live with someone with PTSD and they refuse to get help, there are so many questions you have, while feeling lost, as if there is no one who will understand what it is like to be you. You don't want to tell the people you work with. You may be covering it up with your family, making excuses for them not being at family events, calling their boss because they won't go to work or even call in sick. If you have kids, you may be trying to cover it up so they don't end up blaming themselves. You know what that feels like since you have been doing a great job blaming yourself.

So when do you get to your last time for their last chance?

Before you decide anything, you need to be prepared for what comes with your decision. If you give them the choice between getting help or getting out, they may be very open to saving the relationship. They may not be willing to listen, no matter how many times you try to explain it to them, and they may  walk out of your life, or take their own life. It happens both ways.

Isn't it better to do what you can before you have to get to that point? Learn what PTSD is so you understand it for your own sake. Help your kids understand it for their sake. You cannot control what he/she does no matter how hard you try and you cannot predict what their rock bottom will finally be, anymore than you can predict what they will do when they reach it. You can only control what you do.
When PTSD was the worst for us, we had separate lives. I got tired of making excuses for why things were the way they were. In other words, I was tired of living a lie. So I told the truth and did what I wanted to do, went where I wanted to go and let him know he was welcome to come with me or not.

The trick was, not holding a grudge if he didn't want to go. I had a good time and went home happy that I decided to go.

Everyone reaches limits but not everyone has the same outcome. Just understand that you have to make your own choices and so do they. Give them as much as you can and then decide what is right for you. At least when you make an informed decision, you'll understand whatever they choose, has nothing to do with you...it is all about them and what they decide to do for themselves.

The Last Time
Rolling Stones 

Well I told you once and I told you twice
But ya never listen to my advice
You don't try very hard to please me
With what you know it should be easy
Well this could be the last time
This could be the last time
Maybe the last time
I don't know, oh no, oh no
Well, I'm sorry girl but I can't stay
Feelin' like I do today
It's too much pain and too much sorrow
Guess I'll feel the same tomorrow
Well this could be the last time
This could be the last time
Maybe the last time
I don't know, oh no, oh no
Well this could be the last time
This could be the last time
Maybe the last time
I don't know, oh no, oh no
Well I told you once and I told you twice
That someone will have to pay the price
But here's a chance to change your mind
'Cause I'll be gone a long, long time
Well this could be the last time
This could be the last time
Maybe the last time
I don't know, oh no, oh no
Last time baby
To say no more
Baby I don't know
Well I don't know
Well, I don't know
I don't know
Well, I don't know
Well, I don't know
Well, I don't know
Well, I don't know
Well, I don't know
Well, I don't know
Well, I don't know

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Keith Richards / Mick Jagger
The Last Time lyrics © Abkco Music, Inc 

Or do you give them shelter? 

Gimme Shelter
Rolling Stones

Ooh, a storm is threatening
My very life today
If I don't get some shelter
Ooh yeah I'm gonna fade away
War, children
It's just a shot away
It's just a shot away
War, children
It's just a shot away
It's just a shot away
Ooh, see the fire is sweepin'
Our streets today
Burns like a red coal carpet
Mad bull lost its way
War, children
It's just a shot away
It's just a shot away
War, children
It's just a shot away
It's just a shot away
Rape, murder, it's just a shot away
It's just a shot away
Rape, murder, yeah, it's just a shot away
It's just a shot away
Rape, murder, it's just a shot away
It's just a shot away
Mmm, a flood is threatening
My very life today
Gimme, gimme shelter
Or I'm gonna fade away
War, children
It's just a shot away
It's just a shot away
It's just a shot away
It's just a shot away
It's just a shot away
I tell you love, sister
It's just a kiss away
It's just a kiss away
It's just a kiss away
It's just a kiss away
It's just a kiss away
Kiss away, kiss away

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Jagger Mick / Jagger Michael Phillip
Gimme Shelter lyrics © Mirage Music Int. Ltd. C/o Essex Music Int. L 

Remember it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Tuesday, February 23, 2021

I am everyday people, Yahoo!

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 23, 2021

We need a chair dancing song today! Things are so crazy and everyone is bickering with everyone else. It is almost as if they are looking for something to be disagreeable about. Isn't it better to try to see what you have in common, at least for a while?

How many times have you been around someone who is cranky and ended up taking that negative attitude onto your own day? You could be at a cash register and the cashier seems like they want to just bite your head off. You can judge them or understand they are just as human as you are. Maybe they have a hard time in their own personal life, then again, it could be something as simple as a lot of cranky people coming into the store that did.

What do you do? Do you just take the bad mood and let it change the mood you're in, or, do you change the cashier's mood and make it better? 

Having PTSD can put a lot of negative emotions in you and you can end up passing them onto your family. If you see them being miserable, you may say that you don't want to be a burden to them anymore. You may think of taking your own life, but the thing is, that puts a lifetime burden on them. Isn't it better to stay in your life and do what you can in a positive way to be happier and make them happier too?

This is why today the featured video is, Sly and the Family Stone, Everyday People. "We got to live together" so wouldn't it be so much better to be happier about it instead of being miserable?

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Everyday People
Sly and the Family Stone 

Sometimes I'm right and I can be wrong
My own beliefs are in my song
The butcher, the banker, the drummer and then
Makes no difference what group I'm in
I am everyday people, yeah yeah
There is a blue one who can't accept
The green one for living with
A fat one tryin' to be a skinny one
Different strokes for different folks
And so on and so on and scooby dooby dooby
Ooh sha sha
We got to live together
I am no better and neither are you
We're all the same whatever we do
You love me you hate me
You know me and then
You can't figure out the bag I'm in
I am everyday people
There is a long hair
That doesn't like the short hair
For being such a rich one
That will not help the poor one
Different strokes for different folks
And so on and so on scooby dooby dooby
Ooh sha sha
We got to live together
There is a yellow one that won't
Accept the black one
That won't accept the red one
That won't accept the white one
Different strokes for different folks
And so on and so on and
Scooby dooby dooby
Ooh sha sha
I am everyday people

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Sylvester Stewart
Everyday People lyrics © Mijac Music 

Monday, February 22, 2021

Can I Go Too

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 22, 2021

I was talking to a wife of a Vietnam veteran after she read my book, For The Love Of Jack and she said she wished she read it when it first came out in 2003. Her husband walked out of her life and she still loved him, but she had no idea what he was going through, or why everything went to hell.

This reminded me of when we had the worst of our years and how many times it seemed next to impossible to stay together. The thing is, even if you know what PTSD is, it is still a battle. But as with all battles, it is better if you fight them together.

That is why today the featured video is Which Way You Goin' Billy.

This story behind Which Way You Goin' Billy
Terry was a big Buddy Holly fan, and started writing the song in his pre-Poppy days with the working title "Which Way You Goin' Buddy?" He had the melody, but couldn't come up with a lyrical theme. A few years later, after he formed The Poppy Family, he hit on the idea. In our interview with Terry Jacks, he explained: "It was in 1969 and I had been reading about all these guys going to Vietnam and leaving their women behind in Seattle, and I knew somebody down there that was doing that. I thought, 'Wow, that must be awful.' These guys go and their wives or girlfriends wouldn't know whether they were coming back. That's quite a deal, going to war over there, and it was such a stupid war. So I said, 'That's what I'm going to write about: this woman that's left behind. Which way you going, Billy? Can I go, too?'"


If you have PTSD, the people who love you have no way of knowing what is going on with you. Give them a chance to stand by your side. Don't make them regret not knowing what you wouldn't tell them.

Maybe they will leave you, but that will probably happen if you let them think it is their fault. Isn't your relationship worth trying to get them to understand?

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD


Which Way You Goin' Billy
The Poppy Family 

Which way you goin', Billy?
Can I go too?
Which way you goin', Billy?
Can I go with you?
I really love you, Billy
And all this time
I thought you loved me, Billy
And you were mine
I'm gonna miss you, Billy
And though I'm trying
I'm hurtin' so bad, Billy
I can't help cryin'
You are my whole babe
My heart and my soul babe
I'd have nothing to show babe
If you should go away
You are my whole babe
My heart and my soul babe
I'd have nothing to show babe
If you should go
Which way you goin', Billy?
Or need I ask?
'Cause you don't want me, Billy
You're free at last
I won't forget you, Billy
For all my life
I'll always love you, Billy
I'll stay your wife
You are my whole babe
My heart and my soul babe
I'd have nothing to show babe
If you should go away
You are my whole babe
My heart and my soul babe
I'd have nothing to show babe
If you should go
You are my whole babe
My heart and my soul babe
I'd have nothing to show babe
If you should go away

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Terry Jacks
Which Way You Goin' Billy lyrics © Gone Fishin Music 

Sunday, February 21, 2021

Never thought I could feel so free

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 21, 2021

This isn't the message I planned on delivering today, but sometimes that happens. There are times when I'll be on Facebook and a friend had posted a music video that really hits me. Sometimes I'll hear a song on the radio, usually an oldie I hadn't heard for a while, and my mood totally changes. Today it was a commercial on TV with using a theme song from The Greatest American Hero, Believe It Or Not.

Music does have the power to change our moods. It can lift us up when we're down, or just comfort us enough so we don't feel alone anymore. This is why I use music videos. Back in 2006 when I did the first video on PTSD Wounded Minds, I used several songs.



Back then, this one and many others were over 10,000 views but YouTube blocked the music. There wasn't much point leaving them up without the songs. I moved them to Great Americans. By the time I finally had one of the accounts where YouTube would allow use of music, most people had forgotten about the work I did six years before that. 

The message has always been the same because I believed if people knew what PTSD was, how much power they did have over their lives, they would start to heal. I wanted to change the conversation away from doom and gloom, the way music changed my moods.

Healing feels a lot like walking on air! People are shocked when they discover how free they feel when all they thought was that suffering was the only thing in front of them. Now you are learning that you are on the road to healing and your destination is a happier life!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Believe It or Not
Joey Scarbury

(Theme Greatest American Hero)

Look at what's happened to me
I can't believe it myself
Suddenly I'm up on top of the world
It should have been somebody else
Believe it or not, I'm walkin' on air
I never thought I could feel so free
Flyin' away on a wing and a prayer
Who could it be?
Believe it or not it's just me
Just like the light of a new day
It hit me from out of the blue
Breaking me out of the spell I was in
Making all of my wishes come true
Believe it or not, I'm walkin' on air
I never thought I could feel so free
Flyin' away on a wing and a prayer
Who could it be?
Believe it or not it's just me
This is too good to be true
Look at me falling for you
Believe it or not, I'm walkin' on air
I never thought I could feel so free
Flyin' away on a wing and a prayer
Who could it be?
Believe it or not it's just me
Believe it or not, I'm walkin' on air
I never thought I could feel so free
Flyin' away on a wing and a prayer
Who could it be?
Believe it or not it's just me
Believe it or not, I'm walkin' on air
I never thought I could feel so free
Flyin' away on a wing and a prayer
Who could it be?
Believe it or not it's just me

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Michael Postil / Stephen G Geyer
Believe It or Not lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner Chappell Music, Inc, Wixen Music Publishing 

Saturday, February 20, 2021

Secrets stolen from deep inside

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 20, 2021 

There are times when you think about someone and it is comforting. Others times, brought on by bad memories, it can become yet another sleepless night, especially if those memories are of the one who caused PTSD.

Having PTSD is like carrying around a suitcase of bad memories. No matter how hard you try, you cannot put it down. You can carry it for the rest of your life, until you get help to unpack it. That is what therapists are for. They will catch you because they are there waiting for you.

Lying in my bed, I hear the clock tick and think of you
Caught up in circles
Confusion is nothing new
Flashback, warm nights
Almost left behind
Suitcase of memories
Time after
But what if you don't know you have it? What if you did notice yourself falling down? After continually picking yourself up, there is a reason it kept happening. One thing to keep in mind is that no matter how long you had PTSD, but ignored it, or stuffed in into that suitcase, you can still get help to be happier, with or without a therapist, but it works better with one.

For me, it was my ex-husband. He managed to do more damage than all the other times my life was on the line combined. He tried to kill me one night. That wasn't the end of what he did. He stalked me for a long time. When I thought he stopped, he proved he didn't because 2 years after that horrible night, he walked over to my then future husband, and introduced himself. Whatever residual shock I had left, became PTSD, but I didn't see it in me. Yes, I was in denial.

I became an expert on PTSD and a lot of people wondered how I understood so much that I was able to put into words, what they were unable to do. I just figured since I had lived through so many different things, experience flashbacks, mood swings, panic attacks, paranoia, anger and unable to trust easily, I saw myself in those who were suffering so much more than I was. Yes, still in denial.

I kept saying that PTSD was not a contest when others were acting like it was when they were talking about their own experiences. One veteran challenged me by reminding me that I was never in combat, so I couldn't understand what it did to him. I told him that aside from living with my own veteran, I went on to list everything I had been through, Then I said, "You have no experience with any of those things, but you can understand what it all did to me, and I can understand what combat did to you. That should have given me a clue, but it didn't. Yes, still in denial.

Every time I heard a muscle car engine rev, it all came back. My ex always drove one. He was a great auto body tech, and constantly had different cars at his disposal. That was why it didn't matter which car the sound belonged to. It was not until after many years after we moved out of that state and I received a copy of his death notice in the obituary section of a news paper that the sound stopped freaking me out. For over 20 years, no one saw PTSD in me, including a couple of therapists.

Last year my daughter and I were talking about all that and she said, "You never told me you had PTSD." The truth is, because I had never told myself. It was a little while after that, I decided to open up this work to everyone going through PTSD, but I did not connect that change to my awakening. I just saw the need growing and believed I could help more people because of all I lived through. 

This is why if you fall, I want to catch you. I know what it is like, but I also know what it is like to have power over your own life after you survive. I am the only one who gets to define my life, not what was done to me, because I survived it, scarred and wounded, but not destroyed...and now, no longer in denial!

This is why the featured video today is Cyndi Lauper, Time After Time.

Remember, it is your life...get in an drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Time After Time
Cyndi Lauper 

Lying in my bed, I hear the clock tick and think of you
Caught up in circles
Confusion is nothing new
Flashback, warm nights
Almost left behind
Suitcase of memories
Time after
Sometimes you picture me
I'm walking too far ahead
You're calling to me, I can't hear
What you've said
Then you say, "go slow"
And I fall behind
The second hand unwinds
If you're lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall, I will catch you, I'll be waiting
Time after time
If you're lost, you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall, I will catch you, I will be waiting
Time after time
After my picture fades and darkness has
Turned to gray
Watching through windows
You're wondering if I'm okay
Secrets stolen from deep inside (deep inside)
And the drum beats out of time
If you're lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you, I'll be waiting
Time after time
If you're lost, you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall, I will catch you, I will be waiting
Time after time
Time after time
I've got a suitcase of memories that I almost left behind
Time after time
Time, time, time
But you say to go slow but I fall behind
Time after time after time (after time, oh)

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Robert Hyman / Cyndi Lauper

Friday, February 19, 2021

the power you do have to make a difference

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 19, 2021

These are Godawful days right now. A pandemic of illness and anger sweeping over the country. So many people hurting and suffering, wondering how they can get through this day. The people of Texas are going through so much right now, they are wondering how to stay alive today on top of everything else. Human nature has many sitting around, getting angry and frustrated, wanting to get justice from those in charge. The thing is, no regular citizen has the power to change the causes of any of it today. We only have the power to change what we can.

I only know a tiny bit of what they are going through in Texas. I lived in Florida and we had a lot of hurricanes when I was there. I remember when Hurricane Charlie came through Central Florida. It was terrible. No power, streets destroyed and empty stores, if we were lucky enough to find one with power on. We did what we could, searching for water, food and operating gas stations. We were lucky that we had our power back in a matter of hours, and had little damage to our house. Some of our neighbors were not so lucky.

Still I remember how relieved we were to see the National Guard trucks bringing in water, supplies, helping to clean up and get power restored to other neighborhoods. We were even more grateful because we knew, they left their own homes and families to come and take care of the rest of us.

When you are going through these horrible days, you need to take care of you and your family to make it through today. Think about the power you do have to make a difference. If you can, try to help in whatever way you do have the power to do. Even making a tiny difference can seem like a miracle.


Remember other days when you didn't think you could get through them, but you did and better days came afterwards. That is why the featured video today is One Republic Better Days.

Each really sucky day ended up becoming better days because you got through the shitty ones, especially if you are dealing with PTSD. Doing something productive, and positively, can change the way today is. Use what power you do have until you can hold people accountable, because that is also in your power, but just not very useful to you right now.

Make a difference as much as you can, where you can, so you will help someone else have a better day too.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Better Days
One Republic 

Oh, I know that there'll be better days
Oh, that sunshine 'bout to come my way
May we never ever shed another tear for today
'Cause oh, I know that there'll be better days
Wakin' up in California
But these clouds they won't go away
Everyday is like another storm, yeah
I'm just tryin' not to go insane
Yeah, and the city shinin' so bright
So many dark nights, so many dark days
But any time I feel the paranoia
I close my eyes and I pray
Oh, I know that there'll be better days
Oh, that sunshine 'bout to come my way
May we never ever shed another tear for today
'Cause oh, I know that there'll be better days
Been wakin' up to a new year
Got the past million miles away
I'm waking up with a new fear (new fear)
But I know it'll wash away
Whatever you do, don't worry 'bout me
I'm thinkin' 'bout you, don't worry 'bout us
'Cause in the morning everything can change, yeah
And time will tell you it does
Oh, I know that there'll be better days
Oh, that sunshine 'bout to come my way
May we never ever shed another tear for today
'Cause oh, I know that there'll be better days
Better days
Better days
Better days
Better days
May we never ever shed another tear for today
'Cause oh, I know that there'll be better days
May we never ever shed another tear for today
'Cause oh, I know that there'll be better days

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Brent Michael Kutzle / John Nathaniel / Ryan B Tedder
Better Days lyrics © Downtown Music Publishing 

Bonus video 
You Raise Me Up
Celtic Women 

Do What You Can
Bon Jovi

Thursday, February 18, 2021

forget yesterday, own tomorrow

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 18, 2021

"I just want to go back to the way I was." How many times have you wished you could? How many times have you tried to figure out a way to do that?

That is something that everyone with PTSD wishes they could do, but no one can go back to yesterday. The best way to deal with that fact is to understand the power that you do have over tomorrow. You get to define every moment as a survivor.


Life is all about changes. One day you lived your "normal" life but something happened to you. You went from the way you were before, into being a victim of whatever caused your PTSD. In the blink of an eye, you then became a survivor of it. Since you understand that PTSD was caused by changes that happened to you, now you can understand that the rest of you tomorrows are in your control.

This is why today the featured video is The Beatles, Yesterday.

The best way to move on from longing for yesterday, is to grieve for it being gone. Let out the pain you feel so that you can get that lousy feeling out of the way, and good feelings can move in. In other words, make some room for a better tomorrow by honoring what you left behind you.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Yesterday
The Beatles 

All my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as though they're here to stay
Oh, I believe in yesterday
Suddenly
I'm not half the man I used to be
There's a shadow hangin' over me
Oh, yesterday came suddenly
Why she had to go, I don't know, she wouldn't say
I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday
Yesterday
Love was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh, I believe in yesterday
Why she had to go, I don't know, she wouldn't say
I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday
Yesterday
Love was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh, I believe in yesterday
Mm mm mm mm mm mm mm

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: John Lennon / Paul McCartney
Yesterday lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC 

Wednesday, February 17, 2021

everybody hurts...not everybody helps when you do

PTSD Patrol 
Kathie Costos 
February 17, 2021

Everybody struggles with something they need help with. When you have PTSD, you are struggling with a a lot of things, but feeling like you cannot find someone to trust makes it worse.

When you are hurting and surrounded by people enjoying themselves, it can change your mood. That does not always happen in a good way. Most of the time, you can push back your pain so that no one sees it. Sometimes you can't. Sometimes you have to just walk away before you cry in front of them.

Why? Why be so afraid to show you are struggling with something? Sometimes it goes back to when you were a kid and got hurt. If you had people around you, letting you lean on them when you needed to, or being there to do what you couldn't do, remember those times. Tap into that trust again as an adult.

But what if others told you to just suck it up...get over it...stop crying...grow up? You are tapping into those memories keeping you from trusting anyone with your pain now.

Stop! Stop judging people you know now based on the people in your past. Your world is no longer a tiny group of people. As much as you may have encountered some who do rebuff you when you try to ask for help, there are others that tapped into their own pain enough to feel yours.

This is why today the featured video is R.E.M. Everybody Hurst.


If you reach out to one, and do not find the support you need, reach out to someone else. Keep doing it because sooner or later, you'll find others who not only know what you are going through, those willing to help you remember what it was like when no one would help them. They also know what it was like when they found someone who did and they want to be that person for you. 

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD


Everybody Hurts
R.E.M.

When your day is long
And the night, the night is yours alone
When you're sure you've had enough
Of this life, well hang on
Don't let yourself go
'Cause everybody cries
Everybody hurts sometimes
Sometimes everything is wrong
Now it's time to sing along
When your day is night alone (hold on, hold on)
If you feel like letting go (hold on)
If you think you've had too much
Of this life, well hang on
'Cause everybody hurts
Take comfort in your friends
Everybody hurts
Don't throw your hand, oh no
Don't throw your hand
If you feel like you're alone
No, no, no, you are not alone
If you're on your own in this life
The days and nights are long
When you think you've had too much
Of this life to hang on
Well, everybody hurts sometimes
Everybody cries
Everybody hurts, sometimes
And everybody hurts sometimes
So hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on
Everybody hurts

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Mills / Berry / Buck / Stipe
Everybody Hurts lyrics © Night Garden Music 

Tuesday, February 16, 2021

Thank you for being a friend!

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 16, 2021

PTSD Patrol has over 78,000 page views and I owe it all to friends like you! The work is reaching a lot more people now, which also means, you are a friend to a lot of strangers too. The more you share this, the more people with PTSD discover their lives do not have to be all doom and gloom. You are helping them find hope, information, encouragement and support, along with letting them know someone does care about them!



You also let me know that my life's work matters and have been a blessing.

Thank you for passing this on to people you know!

That is why this post is for you because I want to thank you for being a friend of PTSD Patrol~
Thank You For Being A Friend
Andrew Gold

Thank you for being a friend
Traveled down a road and back again
Your heart is true, you're a pal and a confidant
I'm not ashamed to say
I hope it always will stay this way
My hat is off, won't you stand up and take a bow
And if you threw a party
Invited everyone you knew
Well, you would see the biggest gift would be from me
And the card attached would say
Thank you for being a friend 
Thank you for being a friend 
Thank you for being a friend 
Thank you for being a friend
If it's a car you lack
I'd surely buy you a Cadillac
Whatever you need any time of the day or night
I'm not ashamed to say
I hope it always will stay this way
My hat is off, won't you stand up and take a bow
And when we both get older
With walking canes and hair of gray
Have no fear even though it's hard to hear
I will stand here close and say
Thank you for being a friend (I wanna thank you)
Thank you for being a friend (I wanna thank you)
Thank you for being a friend (I wanna thank you)
Thank you for being a friend (I wanna thank you)
Let me tell you about a friend (I wanna thank you)
Thank you for being a friend (I wanna thank you)
Thank you for being a friend (I wanna thank you)
Thank you for being a friend (I wanna thank you)
And when we die and float away
Into the night the Milky Way
You'll hear me call as we ascend
I'll say your name then once again
Thank you for being a
Thank you for being a friend (I want to thank you)
Thank you for being a friend (I want to thank you)
Thank you for being a friend (I want to thank you)
Thank you for being a friend
People, let me tell you about a friend (I wanna thank you)
Thank you for being a friend (I wanna thank you)
Thank you for being a friend (I wanna thank you)
Thank you for being a friend
Whoa, tell you about a friend (thank you right now, for being a friend)
Thank you for being a friend (I wanna tell you right now, and tell you again)
Thank you for being a friend (I wanna thank you, thank you, for being a friend)
Thank you for being a friend

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Andrew M Gold
Thank You for Being a Friend lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., BMG Rights Management 

Monday, February 15, 2021

Did you let yourself know you matter in your own life?

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 15, 2021

Yesterday was Valentine's Day. We let those we love know how we feel about them. Was there someone you forgot about?

When we are born, the first love we have is for our mothers. After all, we know them inside...and out. Soon we love our fathers. We grow to love brothers and sisters, aunts, uncles and cousins. As we get older, we grow to love our friends. We learn to trust and share our lives. We do not always share our hearts.

Did you ever learn to love yourself? Did you let yourself know you matter in your own life?
I thought a lot about love songs yesterday. The one that kept popping into my brain was The Carpenters Only Yesterday. There are a lot of people who are lonely. You may feel there is nothing lovable about you, especially if you have had bad relationships in the past. It could have come as betrayal from a friend, or family member, or someone you gave your heart to. 

Did you ever give your heart to yourself? After all, you know you inside and out. You know all your flaws as well as you know all your qualities. You know what you went through, maybe even still going through, but you also know what remains inside of you that feeds hope of a brighter day.

Isn't it time you sang this song to yourself about yourself? Who else can know you better? Who else can show you how to "leave the past and all its tears behind" you?

When you have PTSD, the feeling of not being worthy of someone loving you, is a hard one to stop if the people you had in your life, pushed you away. Take a good look at the way the relationship was. Did you push them away first? Did you give them a chance to know what pain you were going through? Did you give them a chance to help you?

Did you end up hurting them because they didn't know what changed in you? Forgive them and forgive yourself.

Love yourself enough to believe you deserve to be happier. Love yourself enough to do more than hope for someone to come into your life to make you feel loved. You are already in your life and that should be where you begin to feed love so you have enough inside of you to give away to someone else.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Only Yesterday
The Carpenters 

After long enough of being alone
Everyone must face their share of loneliness
In my own time, nobody knew
The pain I was goin' through
And waitin' was all my heart could do
Hope was all I had until you came
Maybe you can't see how much you mean to me
You were the dawn breaking the night
The promise of mornin' light
Filling the world surroundin' me
When I hold you
Baby, baby, feels like maybe
Things will be all right
Baby, baby, your love's made me
Free as a song, singin' forever
Only yesterday when I was sad and I was lonely
You showed me the way to leave the past and all its tears behind me
Tomorrow maybe even brighter than today
Since I threw my sadness away
Only yesterday
I have found my home here in your arms
Nowhere else on earth I'd really rather be
Life waits for us, share it with me
The best is about to be
And so much is left for us to see
When I hold you
Baby, baby, feels like maybe
Things will be all right
Baby, baby, your love's made me
Free as a song, singin' forever
Only yesterday when I was sad and I was lonely
You showed me the way to leave the past and all its tears behind me
Tomorrow maybe even brighter than today
Since I threw my sadness away
Only yesterday (only yesterday, only yesterday)
Only yesterday when I was sad and I was lonely
You showed me the way to leave the past and all its tears behind me

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: John Bettis / Richard Carpenter
Only Yesterday lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group 

Sunday, February 14, 2021

For those I love

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 14, 2021

Happy Valentine's Day! Since it is a day to celebrate love, this is a special one for those who serve and suffer for it. There is no greater love than to be willing to sacrifice for those you love. Suffering is not part of the deal and it doesn't have to be, if you consider the reason you are hurting.

The desire to serve was engrained in your soul. It comes from a place of courage and deep devotion. It is what drove you to endure the hardships that came with the job you were among the few willing to do. So why are you paying a price for it? Because the power that enabled you to do what you did, holds the same power to harm you. It is a strong emotional core that caused the desire and to feel the pain even more, but it also holds the power to help you heal PTSD.

If you were willing to die for those you love...be willing to heal for the same reason and LIVE FOR LOVE!

Never regret what you did out of love, no matter how others treated it or you. That is not your problem. It is theirs! Most of the time, they lack the ability to love as much as you do, care as much as you do, and they also lack the ability to feel all the good emotions as deeply as you do.

Use that same strength inside of you to heal for those you love and then, live a happier life because of what you did for love!

Remember...it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

I Will Live For Love
Donna Summer

There's got to be a way that I can dream
Simply close my eyes and see
The worlds I've never known
What places that my soul has been 

Sometimes I need to run away and hide
And soar above the clouds and ride
I sail along so high
Till nothing's in my sky
Except the stars that fill my eyes 

And I will live for love
Where ever it may lead
It's written from the start
I know it's face by heart
I will live for love 

I'm searching for the one who holds the key
To all this crazy life I lead
Through galaxies in time
A solitary star that joins 

Sometimes I need to close my eyes and breathe
Inhale what life's been given me
A passion to ignite
A flaming heart a' flight
I close my eyes
I breathe
I'm free 

And I will live for love
Where ever it may lead
It's written from the start
I know it's face by heart
I will live for love 

The poet must have known
A lover of his own
"Cause that is when he wrote
Everything I felt for love 

And I will fight for love in life and life in love
And I will hold to things above
I'm strong enough to slay the dragon dead and there 

I will live for love 

I'm taller than the sky
This dream will never die
So only know that I
I will live for love 

The poet must have known
A lover of his own
That is when he wrote everything I felt for love
I will ever fight
I will live for life
I will live for love

Genius Lyrics

"Can you imagine how I feel today?"

PTSD Patrol Kathie Costos June 15, 2021 "Can you imagine how I feel today?" is a question no one would have to ask if they talk...

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It is your life, get in and drive it