Wednesday, March 31, 2021

when we don't give up, we "do"

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 31, 2021

When I see people dancing on the ice, I am always amazed. I cannot understand how they do it. Every time I put on a pair, (when I was young) I fell way too much. Besides, I am lucky I can walk without tripping on air.

Today I am taking the day off from doing a video. As a gift, the featured video is Gladys Knight and the Pips, I Hope You Dance and they performed this while a woman dances on ice and in the air.
There are times when things are hard for us and we wish that we could do things we cannot do. Then there are things we can do if someone helps us. Someone teaches us what is hard for us to learn. Other times we understand things easily and we can teach someone else. The thing is, when we don't give up, we "do" what we can and rejoice for those who can do more.

I am not diminished by what others accomplish, nor am I uplifted because others cannot do what I do. I have learned to accept my limitations and quit turning everything into a contest.

If you are struggling with PTSD, then do not be jealous of those who were with you, or others you met later after they experienced similar events, but seem happier than you are, any more than you should look down on others struggling harder than you are. This is not a contest. This is a team effort where you get help where and when you need it, and pass on help, where and when you can.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD


I Hope You Dance
Gladys Knight 

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat
But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a real and constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)
I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
Dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a real and constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
I hope you dance
(Where those years have gone)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Sanders Mark Daniel / Sillers Tia Maria
I Hope You Dance lyrics © Sony/atv Melody, Choice Is Tragic Music, Soda Creek Songs, Mca Music Publishing, A.d.o. Universal Studios

A veteran shares how music therapy has helped him live with PTSD, and how he's now hoping to give back to others that are struggling. We also learn more about what PTSD is and what symptoms someone might be struggling with.

For more on the MUSICRx Foundation: www.musicrxfoundation.org


Tuesday, March 30, 2021

where changes they see in you came from

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 30, 2021

Are you celebrating Easter this year? Are you doing the Easter Bunny and chocolate eggs kind of celebrating, or the life of Jesus, His Death and Resurrection type of celebrating? If you celebrate the rest of the year the secular way, then why not celebrate the rest of the year the Holy Way? The secular way won't keep you full, comforted and happy all year but the Holy Way will. After all, it is a happier way to live.

This is Holy Week for most Christians. I am Greek Orthodox, and our's begins May 2.  It is a time that we reflect on the life of Jesus and His Sacrifice for the rest of us. Hundreds of years before His birth, it was in the Scriptures.


Isaiah 53
Who has believed our message and to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?
2 He grew up before him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of dry ground. He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.
3 He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.
4 Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering, yet we considered him punished by God, stricken by him, and afflicted.
5 But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.
6 We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.
7 He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before its shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth.
8 By oppression and judgment he was taken away. Yet who of his generation protested? For he was cut off from the land of the living; for the transgression of my people he was punished.
9 He was assigned a grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death, though he had done no violence, nor was any deceit in his mouth.
10 Yet it was the Lord’s will to crush him and cause him to suffer, and though the Lord makes his life an offering for sin, he will see his offspring and prolong his days, and the will of the Lord will prosper in his hand.
11 After he has suffered, he will see the light of life and be satisfied; by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many, and he will bear their iniquities.
12 Therefore I will give him a portion among the great, and he will divide the spoils with the strong because he poured out his life unto death, and was numbered with the transgressors. For he bore the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors.

Did he see the future in a dream, or did God tell him what he would not live long enough to see?

Today there is a special video I wanted to share. It is by the group Yes, And You And I.

Commentary on YES, And You And I
1. A man conceived a moment’s answers to the dream.
“The dream” What is “The dream?” This is the key factor in this verse.

One of the constant factors in mystical religious material across all generations, across all centuries and across all religions is the notion that the universe is God's dream, and that we all live our lives in that dream. For those of you who scoff, the Bible itself is clear about this. Before he creates the temple in the book of Exodus, Moses is taught by YHWH how to build it. YHWH shows him the real temple, the temple in Heaven, and God tells him to make the earthly temple as a copy of the real temple. In 1 Corinthians, St. Paul talks about how we now see through a glass darkly, as though we are peering through the fog and cannot truly see the real picture of truth or God. Eventually we will see him--God, face to face. It's just like being in a dream.

Formerly, we were dead in our trespasses and sins, but now we are alive. That is a more powerful image than the notion of a dream. To be dead and become alive is very similar to being asleep and becoming awake.
Now you know what the song means. 

Think of your own life. How many times have you looked at other people and thought they are dead inside? I see cranky people all the time and wonder if they are having a bad day, or if they ever had a good one in their lifetime.

I see politicians making speeches and think how horrible it is that they seem so proud of themselves, while lying and doing evil things with their power. Look at their eyes and see how they let their soul be slaughtered in exchange for power. Yet even they are not beyond redemption to God. If He will still forgive them, and love them, why would think He couldn't forgive and love you too?

If PTSD is eating up hope, then remember that. Remember the miracles Jesus delivered and the messages He came to share from God. Then remember that He came to pay for our sins so that we would find forgiveness, but also, so that we would know that we are loved!

Just because you may have been involved in something terrible, that does not make you terrible.

Because you may have terrible thoughts, that does not mean that is all you are capable of thinking.

Because you cannot feel love as deeply as you once did, that does not mean you will never be able to.

People see you've changed but they do not understand where it came from. They have no way of knowing unless you talk to them. If they are changes for the worse, like your unhappiness or anger, they wonder what they did wrong. They may not want to be around you anymore. If they see you change to be happier and more patient, then they want to be around you.

All you are going through means "for now," but does not have to be all there is for you in the next moment. It is like being asleep, walking through your life, until you can become awakened and live a happier life.

Besides, someone is praying for you right now so that you can tell others where changes they see in you came from....God's LOVE!

(I misspoke in this video and said that Isaiah wrote about it in the Bible...but I meant Scriptures. That is what happens with a no edit, no notes video. Forgive me.)

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it! #BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD


And You And I
YES

A man conceived a moment's answer to the dream
Staying the flowers daily, sensing all the themes
As a foundation left to create the spiral aim
A movement regained and regarded both the same
All complete in the sight of seeds of life with you
Changed only for a sight of sound, the space agreed
Between the picture of time behind the face of need
Coming quickly to terms of all expression laid
Emotions revealed as the ocean maid
All complete in the sight of seeds of life with you
Coins and crosses never know their fruitless worth
Cords are broken, locked inside the mother earth
They won't hide, oh, they won't tell you
Watching the world, watching all of the world
Watching us go by
And you and I climb over the sea to the valley
And you and I reached out for reasons to call
Coming quickly to terms of all expression laid
Emotions revealed as the ocean maid
As a movement regained and regarded both the same
All complete in the sight of seeds of life with you
Sad preacher nailed upon the coloured door of time
Insane teacher be there reminded of the rhyme
There'll be no mutant enemy we shall certify
Political ends, as sad remains, will die
Reach out as forward tastes begin to enter you
I listened hard but could not see
Life tempo change out and inside me
The preacher trained in all to lose his name
The teacher travels, asking to be shown the same
In the end we'll agree, we'll accept, we'll immortalize
That the truth of man maturing in his eyes
All complete in the sight of seeds of life with you
Coming quickly to terms of all expression laid
As a moment regained and regarded both the same
Emotion revealed as the ocean maid
A clearer future, morning, evening, nights with you
And you and I climb, crossing the shapes of the morning
And you and I reach over the sun for the river
And you and I climb, clearer towards the movement
And you and I called over valleys of endless seas

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Jon Anderson / Chris Squire / Steve Howe / Bill Bruford 

Monday, March 29, 2021

Won't let life get me down

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 29, 2021

There are times when you are in a bad mood and others end up catching the mood from you. There are other times when you are miserable and you encounter a happy person, you catch it from them. Music has a way of changing your mood, so let this one change it to hopeful thought about your future. The featured video today is Kiki Dee, I've Got The Music In Me.

Ain't got no trouble in my life
No foolish dreams to make me cry
I'm never frightened or worried
I know I'll always get by
I heat up, I cool down
When something gets in my way I go round it
Won't let life get me down
Gonna take it the way that I found it
I've got the music in me, I've got the music in me, I've got the music in me.
Let go of whatever problems you have just for a little while and remember what feeling hopeful felt liked. Chair dance or get up on your feet and do it. Sing to it, even if you cannot sing. If you are really bad then you can hum.

If you remember what feeling happy is like, then maybe you'll want to be that way more often. The thing is, you can be if you find what you need to heal. It is great to know you can recover a happier life with PTSD,  but is even better to know it is possible! Catch a better life from others who know exactly where you are so you can get to where they are...happier.

OK, for today, just enjoy the song and let it give you some hope of better days.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYouLife from #PTSD

I've Got the Music in Me
The Kiki Dee Band 

Ain't got no trouble in my life
No foolish dreams to make me cry
I'm never frightened or worried
I know I'll always get by
I heat up, I cool down
When something gets in my way I go round it
Won't let life get me down
Gonna take it the way that I found it
I've got the music in me, I've got the music in me, I've got the music in me.
I've got the music in me, I've got the music in me, I've got the music in me.
Some say that life is a circle
But that ain't the way that I found it
Gonna move in a straight line
Keeping my feet firmly on the ground
I heat up, I cool down
I've got words in my head so I'll say them
Won't let life get me down
Catch a hold of my blues and just play them
I've got the music in me, I've got the music in me, I've got the music in me.
I've got the music in me, I've got the music in me, I've got the music in me.
Feel funky, feel good
Gonna tell you I'm in the neighborhood
Gonna fly like a bird on the wing
Hold onto your hat honey - sing, sing, sing, sing
I heat up, I cool down
I've got words in my head so I'll say them
Won't let life get me down
Catch a hold of my blues and you know I'll play them
I've got the music in me, I've got the music in me, I've got the music in me.
I've got the music in me, I've got the music in me, I've got the music in me.
I got music, I got music, I've got the music in me.
I've got the music in me, I've got the music in me
I've got music, pretty music, I've got the music in me.

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Bias Boshell
I've Got the Music in Me lyrics © Rocket Music Ltd. 

Sunday, March 28, 2021

When I don't fit in

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 28, 2021

I don't fit in anywhere. I never did. When I was young, it didn't matter to me at all. I just wanted to be myself. When I got older, I wanted to fit in but I still wanted to be me. When I got a lot older, I didn't care if I fit in again. That is not always a bad thing. 

People who do not fit in are the ones who change the world. If everyone thought the same, settled for the way things were, then nothing would ever change. They are the creators of change. The dreamers, poets and writers, artist, musicians, scientists and misfits create things that were never done before.

If you have PTSD, then you may not really fit in with people who never survived anything like you did. It is OK. You do fit in with others who are trying to heal, but you can also do something different because you know things have to change to make lives better.

Today is Palm Sunday for most Christians, but not Greeks like me. It is the day Jesus road in on the donkey and the people shouted "hosanna" as he went by them. In other words, they wanted this One who did not "fit in" to save them. Jesus did not fit in with the other Hebrews and came to change the world. It is why today the featured video is Sanctus Real, Forgiven. 

Part of the lyrics is about not fitting in. 
And I don't have to carry the weight of who I've been
'Cause I'm forgiven
When I don't fit in
And I don't feel like I belong anywhere
When I don't measure up to much in this life
Oh, I'm a treasure in the arms of Christ
'Cause I'm forgiven

The rest of the world may tell you that you should hold onto anger and blaming others. It tells you to hate those who hurt you or didn't care what happened to you. The world tells you a lot of things but deep inside, it is destroying you. It is taking room in your soul where goodness belongs. Where hope should be and where dreams begin. Don't let all that negative stuff take up that much room in you.

Isn't it time to be "you" with all your flaws and gifts? Isn't it time for you to do more than settle for what "is" because people are telling you that you should, or far worse, tell you to just get over it? Be a misfit and then show others how to be happier being them!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Forgiven
Sanctus Real

Well, the past is playing with my head
And failure knocks me down again
I'm reminded of the wrong that I have said and done
And that devil just won't let me forget
In this life, I know what I've been
But here in Your arms, I know what I am
I'm forgiven
I'm forgiven
And I don't have to carry the weight of who I've been
'Cause I'm forgiven
My mistakes are running through my mind
And I relive my days in the middle of the night
And I struggle with my pain, wrestle with my pride
Sometimes I feel alone, and I cry
And in this life, I know what I've been
But here in Your arms, I know what I am
I'm forgiven
I'm forgiven
And I don't have to carry the weight of who I've been
'Cause I'm forgiven
When I don't fit in
And I don't feel like I belong anywhere
When I don't measure up to much in this life
Oh, I'm a treasure in the arms of Christ
'Cause I'm forgiven
I'm forgiven
And I don't have to carry the weight of who I've been
'Cause I'm forgiven

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Graalman Mark Steven / Hammitt Matthew D / Rohman Christopher James / Prevost Peter Thomas / Gartley Daniel David
Forgiven lyrics © Birdwing Music, River Oaks Music Co., 1012 Rosedale Music, Toledo Tomorrow Music, Stonebrook Music Co., Eventho Publishing, Olde Irish Publishing, Look At My Beard 


As I said, not fitting in, is not always a bad thing.

Saturday, March 27, 2021

I made it through the rain and so can you!

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 27, 2021

Think of PTSD this way. It was a storm. You survivied. Then came the rain. You can survive that too! If you know that, that is half the battle. The other half is trying to figure out how to do it. That is why there is so much information on exactly how things can get cleared up "by others who got rained on too." This is why today the featured video is Barry Manilow, I Made It Through The Rain.

If you Google Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, there are over 78 million results. If you Google PTSD, there are almost 77 million results. That is because there are over 8 million Americans with PTSD. Canada has the highest rate of PTSD, but it is helpful to consider the fact, no matter what reported numbers are, far too many do not get diagnosed because they have no idea there is a name for what happened to them after they survived. All research being done indicates an huge increase of pandemic survivors who will also need help to make it through.

The Nation Center For PTSD has this,

The fact is, help works, but there is no one size fits all.This is why there are so many different approaches to treatment. Find what works best for you and talk to your doctor. If something worked for someone you know, but does not work for you, then try something else.

Treatment works but it cannot work if you do not know for sure what is raining on your life. Isn't it time you found out for sure so that you can make it through too?

 

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD
I Made It Through The Rain
Barry Manilow

We dreamers have our ways
Of facing rainy days
And somehow we survive
We keep the feelings warm
Protect them from the storm
Until our time arrives
Then one day the sun appears
And we come shining through those lonely years
I made it through the rain
I kept my world protected
I made it through the rain
I kept my point of view
I made it through the rain
And found myself respected
By the others who
Got rained on too
And made it through
When friends are hard to find
And life seems so unkind
Sometimes you feel afraid
Just aim beyond the clouds
And rise above the crowds
And start your own parade
'Cause when I chased my fears away
That's when I knew that I could finally say
I made it through the rain
I kept my world protected
I made it through the rain
I kept my point of view
I made it through the rain
And found myself respected
By the others who
Got rained on too
And made it through
I made it through the rain
I kept my world protected
I made it through the rain
I kept my point of view
I made it through the rain
And found myself respected
By the others who
Got rained on too
And made it through
And made it through
I made it through

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Barry Manilow / Bruce Sussman / Jack Feldman / Gerald Kenny / Drey Sheppard
I Made It Through the Rain lyrics © D And J Arlon Enterprises Ltd 



Friday, March 26, 2021

PTSD if you believe God did it to you

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 26, 2021

We haven't talked much about spiritual healing lately, but I wanted to share how powerful it has been for me.

I was talking to someone who used the cringe worthy saying, "God only gives us what we can handle." That is used when someone wants to shut down the conversation, or because they think they have to say something but have nothing reasonable to say. It is much like when someone says, "If God brought you to it, He'll get you through it."

You are telling someone who survived the cause of PTSD that it is punishment from God. What is the point of praying if you believe God did it to you? You spend the rest of your life questioning everything in your life and then believe there is no point in trying at all.

I was struggling with many things lately. One was my confidence. Another one was being able to forgive. I am not struggling anymore on those.

My confidence was restored. The people who used me and abandoned me, are no longer in my life or taking up any room in my heart. The people who stole my work, used it as their own without asking permission or giving me any credit at all, no longer get in the way of me doing what I've done all these years.

The biggest one I struggled with was praying for inner peace. When you are in spiritual turmoil, that can ruin everything else in your life. If you have faith that God does have the power to deliver a lot things you need from Him, you will receive it. I did.

There are things we pray for that involve the will of other people to take action. God will not try to control their own freewill, so sometimes we don't have our prayers answered because they were not willing to listen to Him. But there are things He can do on His own if we are willing to ask and have faith He can, and it will be done.

It does not mean we will never have to ask for these things again at some point in our lives....but it does mean that if we do, then He will be there for us!



Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD


Whenever God Shines His Light
Van Morrison

Whenever God shines his light on me
Opens up my eyes so I can see
When I look up in the darkest night
And I know everything's going to be alright
In deep confusion, in great despair
When I reach out for him he is there
When I am lonely as I can be
And I know that God shines his light on me
Reach out for him (reach out for him), he'll be there (he'll be there)
With him your troubles (with him your troubles) you can share (you can share)
If you live (if you live), the life you love (the life you love)
You get the blessing (yeah) from above (from above)
Heals the sick and he heals the lame
Says you can do it too in Jesus' name
He'll lift you up and turn you around
And put your feet back (feet back) on higher ground
Reach out for him (reach out for him), he'll be there (he'll be there)
With him your troubles (with him your troubles) you can share (you can share)
Oh, you can use his higher power
Every day (every day) and any hour (any hour)
Heals the sick and heals the lame
And he says you can heal them too in Jesus' name
He lifts you up and turns you around
Puts your feet back (puts your feet back, puts your feet back) on higher ground
When
When he shines his light
Whenever God shines his light
On you
On you
He is the way
He is the truth
He is the light, hoo
Put your feet back, put your feet back, higher ground, put your feet back
Higher ground
Put your feet back, put your feet back, higher ground, put your feet back
On higher ground
Put your feet back, put your feet back, higher ground, put your feet back
On higher ground
Put your feet back, put your feet back, higher ground, put your feet back
On higher ground
Put your feet back, put your feet back, higher ground, put your feet back
Put your feet on higher ground
Put your feet back, put your feet back, higher ground, put your feet back
Back

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Van Morrison
Whenever God Shines His Light lyrics © BMG Rights Management 
When Will I Ever Learn to Live in God
Van Morrison

The sun was setting over Avalon
The last time we stood in the west
Suffering long time angels enraptured by Blake
Burn out the dross
Innoncence captured again
Standing on the beach at sunset
And all the boats keep moving slow
In the glory of the flashing light
In the evenings glow
When will I ever learn
To live in God?
When will I ever learn?
He gives me everything I need and more
When will I ever learn?
You brought it to my attention
That everything was made in God
Down through centuries of great writings and paintings
Everything lives in God
Seen through architecture of great cathedrals
Down through the history of time
Is and was in the beginning
And evermore
Shall ever be
When will I ever learn
To live in God?
When will I ever learn?
He gives me everything I need and more
When will I ever learn?
Whatever it takes to fulfill the
Main change was to delete the is mission
That is the way we must go
But you've got to do it your own way
Tear down the old
Bring up the new
And up on the hillside it's quiet
Where the shepherd is tending his sheep
And over the mountains and the valleys
And the countryside is so green
Standing on the highest hill with a sense of wonder
You can see everything is made in God
Head back down the roadside
And give thanks for it all
When will I ever learn
To live in God?
When will I ever learn?
He gives me everything I need and more
When will I ever learn?
When will I ever learn
To live in God?
When will I ever learn?
He gives me everything I need and more
When will I ever learn?
When will I ever learn
To live in God?
When will I ever learn?
He gives me everything I need and more
When will I ever learn?

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Van Morrison
When Will I Ever Learn to Live in God lyrics © Barrule Uk Ltd, Universal-songs Of Polygrm Obo Essential Music

Thursday, March 25, 2021

Does the person in your life know you love them?

PTSD Patrol and Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
March 25, 2021

Does the person in your life know you love them? If you have PTSD and you are not talking to them about what is going on with you, then they will think you just don't love them anymore. Today the featured video is Bonnie Raitt, I Can't Make You Love Me because there have been too many conversations from women giving up on their marriages and relationships with veterans.

This can apply to husbands, because we also have to face the fact that there are female veterans too. It can apply to anyone with PTSD in a relationship because you are leaving them to believe you don't love them anymore. What other choice can they make if you won't tell them why you changed?

They can only base what they feel on how you treat them, how you act toward them and how you talk to them. It sucks!

You may be destroying a relationship that is strong enough to last the rest of your life because you won't talk to them or even try to get them to know what is in your heart.

"You can't make your heart feel something it won't," is what they think. I know because I almost gave up on my marriage. I remember driving and this song came on the radio. I'd cry hard enough I had to pull over until I could see better and wiped the tears from my face. I had no way of knowing if there was any love left or not, even though I knew what PTSD was.

What made it harder for me was dealing with what my ex-husband did when he tried to kill me, proving my life didn't matter to him, even though he said the words out of his mouth. My second husband and I have been married for over 36 years now and because he started to make the effort to trust me enough to talk about Vietnam, I was sure that while his actions had nothing to do with me even though it effected me deeply.

It is time to think about the person you share your life with or you won't be doing it much longer.
Morning will come and I'll do what's right
Just give me till then to give up this fight
And I will give up this fight
'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't


Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it! 
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

I Can’t Make You Love Me
Bonnie Raitt

Turn down the lights
Turn down the bed
Turn down these voices inside my head
Lay down with me
Tell me no lies
Just hold me close, don't patronize
Don't patronize me
'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't
I'll close my eyes, then I won't see
The love you don't feel when you're holding me
Morning will come and I'll do what's right
Just give me till then to give up this fight
And I will give up this fight
'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Michael Reid / Allen Shamblin
I Can’t Make You Love Me lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group, Amplified Administration 

Wednesday, March 24, 2021

"She's leaving home, after living alone, for so many years"

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 24, 2021

Does your adult child believe they are living alone, even though they live with you? Sometimes the loneliest place to be, is with people you love. This is to the parents of survivors, especially young veterans. They will not say much about where they were or what they did, but they say even less about what came back with them. Their souls have a huge scar.

You may notice the changes in their actions and attitudes. You may notice they are not the same. What you don't notice is they are not just "getting over it" on their own. It is up to you to be able to understand what the changes mean and if they need help instead of time to heal from it.

If not, then they may end up feeling as if they are living alone with a house full of people around them. Sharing a dwelling is not the same as sharing lives.

There are so many causes of trauma but the key doctors look for are the two words most often spoken afterwards. "Suddenly changed" give doctors a clue as to what the person can be suffering with. PTSD, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, can be misdiagnosed as many other mental health issues, but this one is only caused by surviving traumatic events.

While news reports cause people to be emotionally invested in the stories, survivors of those same events can be hit especially hard by them. I get really emotional when I read about domestic abuse and stalking. I also get emotional reading about veterans committing suicide. It is as if the events that hit my life has happened all over again.

When the police officer's knee was on George Floyd's neck, most people got angry but for some young black men, it stuck in their minds. It caused traumatic reactions the next time they encounter police offices. When police officers read reports of other officers being shot, the next time they encounter someone with a weapon, it can cause a traumatic response that lingers.

No matter what caused PTSD in them, whenever it happens to someone else, it hits them hard and they will remember when it happened to them more stronger than during most days. If they are in therapy, they need to talk to their therapist. If they are not, then try to get them to at least open up to you.

Most of the time, people will not talk about any of this out of fear of being judged. The thing is, they fear what they do not understand. If they understood PTSD is only something survivors experience, then they would know there is nothing to be ashamed of.

Don't let them think they are living alone and cannot talk to you about what is harming them.

Today the featured video is "She's Leaving Home" by the Beatles.
Melanie Coe, the teenage runaway who inspired the Beatles' "She's Leaving Home," looks back on her surreal moment as a 'Sgt. Pepper' muse. (Read article from Rolling Stone below)
Remember it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

She's leaving home
The Beatles;

Wednesday morning at five o'clock
As the day begins
Silently closing her bedroom door
Leaving the note that she hoped would say more
She goes down the stairs to the kitchen
Clutching her handkerchief
Quietly turning the backdoor key
Stepping outside, she is free
She, ... (we gave her most of our lives)
Is leaving (sacrified most of our lives)
Home (we gave her everything money could buy)
Father snores as his wife gets into her dressing gown
Picks up the letter that's lying there
Standing alone at the top of the stairs
She breaks down and cries to her husband
Daddy, our baby's gone.
Why would she treat us so thoughtlessly?
How could she do this to me?
She (we never thought of ourselves)
Is leaving (never a thought for ourselves)
Home (we struggled hard all our lives to get by)
She's leaving home, after living alone, for so many years
Friday morning, at nine o'clock
She is far away
Waiting to keep the appointment she made
Greeting a man from the Motortrade
She (what did we do that was wrong)
Is Having (we didn't know it was wrong)
Fun (fun is the one thing that money can't buy)
Something inside, that was always denied,
For so many years,
She's leaving home

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Lennon John Winston / Mccartney Paul James 


Beatles’ ‘Sgt. Pepper’ at 50: Meet the Runaway Who Inspired ‘She’s Leaving Home’
Melanie Coe looks back on her teenage days as an unlikely Lennon/McCartney muse
The Rolling Stone
By JORDAN RUNTAGH
MAY 23, 2017

The Beatles‘ Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, which Rolling Stone named as the best album of all time, turns 50 on June 1st. In honor of the anniversary, and coinciding with a new deluxe reissue of Sgt. Pepper, we present a series of in-depth pieces – one for each of the album’s tracks, excluding the brief “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band” reprise on Side Two – that explore the background of this revolutionary and beloved record. Today’s installment focuses on Melanie Coe, the real-life teen runaway who inspired “She’s Leaving Home.”

“A-Level Girl Dumps Car And Vanishes,” screamed a headline in the February 27th, 1967, issue of London’s Daily Mail. A pretty blonde 17-year-old named Melanie Coe stared out from the adjacent photograph, taken not long before she went missing from her family’s home in Stamford Hill, England. The report portrayed her as a “the schoolgirl who seemed to have everything,” including her own Austin 1100 car and a “wardrobe full of clothes,” both of which were left behind. “I cannot imagine why she should run away,” her father told reporters. “She has everything here … even her fur coat.”
Unable to express herself at home, Coe made a desperate lunge at freedom. One afternoon, while both her parents were out, she left a note and slipped out the door. Decades later, Coe remains stunned by the prescience of the Beatles’ lyrics. “The most interesting thing in the song is what the father said, ‘We gave her everything, everything money could buy.’ And in the newspaper article, my father actually says almost those words. He doesn’t understand why I would have left home when they bought me or gave me everything. Which is true; they had bought me a car and they always bought me expensive clothes and things like that. But as we know, that doesn’t mean that you get on well with your parents, or even love them, just because they buy you material things.”
read the rest here

Tuesday, March 23, 2021

"Free to face the life that's ahead of me"

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 23, 2021

"Free to face the life that's ahead of me!" Dennis De Young wrote those words in the song by Styx, Come Sail Away. What a powerful thing to say! We are all free to face the life that is ahead of you.

You have the power to heal from what tried to kill you and has been trying to take over your life everyday since it hit you. You had no power over what happened but you have all the power now to recover from it.

You can choose to be miserable, but like most people, you are more likely to want to be happier. That is in your control. The question is, what are you planning on doing about it?

There is a hell of a lot of things going on in this country right now. The pandemic, mass shootings, people acting like their have gone insane and the rest of the people are stunned by all of it. Add all of that into the other causes of PTSD and you understand why there will be far more cases of PTSD than the 8 million we already had. You will try to work through surviving if it happened recently but if 30 days goes by and your symptoms of shock have not worn down or are gone, then you may need professional help to recover.

Think of it this way. When something serious happens to us, we have no problem going to a doctor to mend our bones, or stitch our wounds, or give us antibiotics for infections. Needing a professional to help us recover from surviving is no different. The sooner you get evaluated and start to take control back, the better your healing will be. Remember, it is never too late to take action, because you can be happier no matter how long it was, treatment may take longer. You will see the difference.


Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it! 
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD 
Come Sail Away
Styx

I'm sailing away
Set an open course for the Virgin Sea
'Cause I've got to be free 
Free to face the life that's ahead of me
On board I'm the captain
So climb aboard
We'll search for tomorrow
On every shore and I'll try
Oh Lord I'll try 
To carry on
I look to the sea
Reflections in the waves spark my memory
Some happy some sad
I think of childhood friends and the dreams we had
We live happily forever
So the story goes
But somehow we missed out
On that pot of gold
But we'll try best that we can
To carry on
A gathering of angels
Appeared above my head
They sang to me this song of hope
And this is what they said
They said, come sail away, come sail away
Come sail away with me (lads)
Come sail away, come sail away
Come sail away with me
Come sail away, come sail away
Come sail away with me (baby)
Come sail away, come sail away
Come sail away with me
I thought that they were angels 
But to my surprise
We climbed aboard their starship
We headed for the skies
Singing, come sail away, come sail away
Come sail away with me (lads)
Come sail away, come sail away
Come sail away with me
Come sail away, come sail away
Come sail away with me...

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Dennis De Young
Come Sail Away lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group 

Monday, March 22, 2021

Want to meet a champion?

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 22, 2021

Today the featured video is Queen, We Are The Champions. Want to meet a champion? Then look in the mirror. If you survived whatever caused PTSD in you, then you are a champion. You defeated what tried to kill you and now it is time to defeat what is trying to destroy you now.

In any conflict, the enemy is not totally obliterated. With PTSD your enemy is confusion and doubt. You get confused about what it is doing to you and you doubt there is anything you can do to keep fighting for a better life.

You may be tired of feeling bad things, so you decide to get numb enough to stop feeling. You may try to get drunk enough to do that but then you regret it in the morning. If you think that only bad feelings are in your future, then you won't try to push them out of your life so you can feel good feelings again.

Living that way sucks! It is like taking that bandage on your soul and ripping it off over and over again.

It is so much better to learn how to defeat the enemy inside of you to be able to know what it feels like to be "you" again.

Remember, it is you life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD
I haven't felt much like a champion the last few days. My ego has been taking a beating. I've done a lot of things that no one will ever know about, and I was feeling really depressed about that until last night. It finally dawned on me that God does a lot of things too no one will ever know about.

The thing is, God tries to get through to people but will not try to control anyone. That is why He gave all of us freewill. How many times has He tired to get people to listen to Him, but they didn't? With so many problems in the world, we always ask why God isn't taking care of it for us. Did we ever wonder why people are not listening to Him about what they can do to fix it?

God tries to get through to me and I know I'm listening if I have peace in my soul. I know I'm only doing what I want if my gut is churning. A lot of times, we do good things but people take advantage of it and we end up regretting it. Don't! You have no power over what they do with what you do for them. The only thing you can do is do it because you know it is the right thing to do and you are being true to yourself. That is another way to be a champion too.
We Are The Champions
Queen

I've paid my dues
Time after time
I've done my sentence
But committed no crime
And bad mistakes
I've made a few
I've had my share of sand
Kicked in my face
But I've come through
And we mean to go on and on and on and on
We are the champions, my friends
And we'll keep on fighting till the end
We are the champions
We are the champions
No time for losers
'Cause we are the champions of the World
I've taken my bows
And my curtain calls
You brought me fame and fortune
And everything that goes with it
I thank you all
But it's been no bed of roses
No pleasure cruise
I consider it a challenge before
The human race
And I ain't gonna lose
And we mean to go on and on and on and on
We are the champions, my friends
And we'll keep on fighting till the end
We are the champions
We are the champions
No time for losers
'Cause we are the champions of the World
We are the champions, my friends
And we'll keep on fighting till the end
We are the champions
We are the champions
No time for losers
'Cause we are the champions of the World

Source: Musixmatch
We Are the Champions lyrics © Queen Music Limited 

Sunday, March 21, 2021

PTSD: the wounds that were carried back home to you

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 21, 2021

Today I am going to let one of the first videos I did on PTSD replace the daily video from me. Wounded Minds was a labor of love back in 2006. It had over 10,000 views but after a couple of years, I moved the videos from YouTube. (Big mistake) Anyway, my confidence was taking beating lately because of  all the reports about people suffering instead of healing. Whenever I get this way, I usually go through old emails to remind me of why I do this work.

One of the old emails I came across was from the ex-wife of a Vietnam veteran. She never stopped loving him but they didn't know what PTSD was before they ended a long marriage. Her kids were suffering, she was suffering and so was the veteran. She said she wished she knew what was in this video before they decided to get divorced. 

I told her it was not too late to still have a relationship with him, or at least try to reconnect. She promised to learn more and then, try to talk to him so he would get help to heal. This is why I do this work. And this is why I will never stop doing it.

Today the featured videos are about relationships ending, but love still existing. The Carpenters, Hurting Each Other and Rose Royce Wishing On A Star.

If you still care about someone you had to walk away from, because you did not know what you needed to know, I hope this comforts you. Keep in mind that you did the best you could with what you knew at the time, and now you know more than you did back then. It is up to you what you do with that knowledge. If nothing else, I hope it helps you heal your heart by knowing it really didn't have anything to do with you, but the wounds that were carried back home to you.
In 2006 I created this video on Wounded Minds. Long before PTSD was in the news, families like mine were doing the best we could to make our veterans lives better. Sometimes we failed but after three decades, I'm still married. I still have no idea how other families do it when they know hardly nothing about PTSD. I knew almost everything and there were times when it was almost impossible to find hope. The key is to learn as much as you can, love as an active partner in their healing and find what works to make your lives better! This is from my old website, NamGuardianAngel. Go to Combat PTSD Wounded Times to learn more.

Hurting Each Other
The Carpenters 

No one in the world
Ever had a love as sweet as my love
For nowhere in the world
Could there be a boy as true as you, love
All my love I give gladly to you
All your love you give gladly to me
Tell me why then, oh why should it be that
We go on hurting each other
We go on hurting each other
Making each other cry
Hurting each other
Without ever knowing why
Closer than the leaves
On a weeping willow, baby, we are
Closer dear are we
Than the simple letters A and B are
All my life I could love only you
All your life you could love only me
Tell me why, then?
Oh why should it be that
We go on hurting each other
We go on hurting each other
Making each other cry
Hurting each other
Without ever knowing why
Can't we stop hurting each other
Gotta stop hurting each other
Making each other cry
Breaking each other's heart
Tearing each other apart
Can't we stop hurting each other
Gotta stop hurting each other
Making each other cry
Breaking each other's heart
Tearing each other apart
Can't we stop hurting each other

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Udell Peter David / Geld Gary
Hurting Each Other lyrics © Bibo Music Publishing, Inc. 


I'm Wishing on a Star
Rose Royce 

I'm wishing on a star
To follow where you are
I'm wishing on a dream
To follow what it means
I'm wishing on a star
To follow where you are
I'm wishing on a dream
To follow what it means
And I'm wishing on the rainbows that I've seen
I'm wishing on the people who really dream
And I'm wishing on tomorrow, praying it'll come
And I'm wishing on all the loving we've ever done
No, I never thought I'd see
A time when you would be
So far away from home
So far away from me
Just think of all the moments that we'd spend
I just can't let you go, for me you were meant
And I didn't mean to hurt you, but I know
That in the game of love you reap what you sow
I feel it's time we should make up, baby
I feel it's time for us to get back together
And make the best of things, oh baby
When we're together, whether or never
I feel it's time we should make up, baby
I feel it's time for us to get back together
And make the best of things, oh baby
When we're together, whether or never, oh
I'm wishing on a star
To follow where you are
I'm wishing on a dream
To follow what it means
And I'm wishing on the rainbows that I've seen
I'm wishing on the people who've ever been
And I'm hoping on all the days to come and days to go
I'm hoping on days of loving you so
I'm wishing on a star
To follow where you are
I'm wishing on a star, oh, oh
And I'm wishing on all the rainbows that I see
I'm wishing on a star
To follow where you are
I'm wishing on a dream, baby
And I'm following all the rainbows that I see

Source: Musixmatch
Wishing on a Star lyrics © Warner-tamerlane Publishing Corp., May Twelfth Music 

Saturday, March 20, 2021

let the dreamers wake the nation

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 13, 2021

Today I picked a fun video, Carley Simon Let The River Run. If you saw the movie Working Girl, then you know it is a story about an average woman with big dreams. Tess McGill (Melanie Griffith) was really smart but didn't have many chances to prove it and change her life...until her boss broke her leg. Even her friends thought she was nuts to try it, but she did and in the end she won.



The song is about dreamers. People dreaming about making something better too. Making their lives different than they are because they believe they can be. What do you believe? Do you believe your life can be different than it is? Do you have chances to prove you are right?

When you have a dream that's great. It sucks if you do not think you have a chance in hell of making it happen. If you have PTSD, it sucks wanting to be happier but believing there is no way it can happen because that was what you heard. If you know it can happen, then you find a way to make that dream come true.

You get a roadmap to get you from where you are to where you want to be. You believe in yourself because you know in your heart it is possible and one mile at a time, you learn how to get there. When you do, you discover that you can win first place in a better life for yourself too.

If you know how to heal because you did it, then wake the rest of the people up in the nation so they can dream about doing it too! 

Remember, it is you life...get in and drive it! 
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD
    
Let the River Run
Carly Simon

Let the river run
Let all the dreamers wake the nation
Come, the New Jerusalem
Silver cities rise
The morning lights the streets that lead them
And sirens call them on with a song
It's asking for the taking
Trembling, shaking
Oh, my heart is aching
We're coming to the edge
Running on the water
Coming through the fog
Your sons and daughters
We the great and small
Stand on a star
And blaze a trail of desire
Through the darkening dawn
It's asking for the taking
Come run with me now
The sky is the colour of blue
You've never even seen
In the eyes of your lover
Oh, my heart is aching
We're coming to the edge
Running on the water
Coming through the fog
Your sons and daughters
It's asking for the taking
Trembling, shaking
Oh, my heart is aching
We're coming to the edge
Running on the water
Coming through the fog
Your sons and daughters
Let the river run (Let the river run)
Let all the dreamers (let all the dreamers)
Wake the nation (wake the nation)
Come, the New Jerusalem

Source: Musixmatch
Let the River Run lyrics © Universal Music Corp., C'est Music, Tcf Music Publishing Inc 

"Can you imagine how I feel today?"

PTSD Patrol Kathie Costos June 15, 2021 "Can you imagine how I feel today?" is a question no one would have to ask if they talk...

PTSD Patrol

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It is your life, get in and drive it