Showing posts with label PTSD. Show all posts
Showing posts with label PTSD. Show all posts

Thursday, March 25, 2021

Does the person in your life know you love them?

PTSD Patrol and Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
March 25, 2021

Does the person in your life know you love them? If you have PTSD and you are not talking to them about what is going on with you, then they will think you just don't love them anymore. Today the featured video is Bonnie Raitt, I Can't Make You Love Me because there have been too many conversations from women giving up on their marriages and relationships with veterans.

This can apply to husbands, because we also have to face the fact that there are female veterans too. It can apply to anyone with PTSD in a relationship because you are leaving them to believe you don't love them anymore. What other choice can they make if you won't tell them why you changed?

They can only base what they feel on how you treat them, how you act toward them and how you talk to them. It sucks!

You may be destroying a relationship that is strong enough to last the rest of your life because you won't talk to them or even try to get them to know what is in your heart.

"You can't make your heart feel something it won't," is what they think. I know because I almost gave up on my marriage. I remember driving and this song came on the radio. I'd cry hard enough I had to pull over until I could see better and wiped the tears from my face. I had no way of knowing if there was any love left or not, even though I knew what PTSD was.

What made it harder for me was dealing with what my ex-husband did when he tried to kill me, proving my life didn't matter to him, even though he said the words out of his mouth. My second husband and I have been married for over 36 years now and because he started to make the effort to trust me enough to talk about Vietnam, I was sure that while his actions had nothing to do with me even though it effected me deeply.

It is time to think about the person you share your life with or you won't be doing it much longer.
Morning will come and I'll do what's right
Just give me till then to give up this fight
And I will give up this fight
'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't


Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it! 
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

I Can’t Make You Love Me
Bonnie Raitt

Turn down the lights
Turn down the bed
Turn down these voices inside my head
Lay down with me
Tell me no lies
Just hold me close, don't patronize
Don't patronize me
'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't
I'll close my eyes, then I won't see
The love you don't feel when you're holding me
Morning will come and I'll do what's right
Just give me till then to give up this fight
And I will give up this fight
'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Michael Reid / Allen Shamblin
I Can’t Make You Love Me lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group, Amplified Administration 

Tuesday, March 23, 2021

"Free to face the life that's ahead of me"

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 23, 2021

"Free to face the life that's ahead of me!" Dennis De Young wrote those words in the song by Styx, Come Sail Away. What a powerful thing to say! We are all free to face the life that is ahead of you.

You have the power to heal from what tried to kill you and has been trying to take over your life everyday since it hit you. You had no power over what happened but you have all the power now to recover from it.

You can choose to be miserable, but like most people, you are more likely to want to be happier. That is in your control. The question is, what are you planning on doing about it?

There is a hell of a lot of things going on in this country right now. The pandemic, mass shootings, people acting like their have gone insane and the rest of the people are stunned by all of it. Add all of that into the other causes of PTSD and you understand why there will be far more cases of PTSD than the 8 million we already had. You will try to work through surviving if it happened recently but if 30 days goes by and your symptoms of shock have not worn down or are gone, then you may need professional help to recover.

Think of it this way. When something serious happens to us, we have no problem going to a doctor to mend our bones, or stitch our wounds, or give us antibiotics for infections. Needing a professional to help us recover from surviving is no different. The sooner you get evaluated and start to take control back, the better your healing will be. Remember, it is never too late to take action, because you can be happier no matter how long it was, treatment may take longer. You will see the difference.


Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it! 
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD 
Come Sail Away
Styx

I'm sailing away
Set an open course for the Virgin Sea
'Cause I've got to be free 
Free to face the life that's ahead of me
On board I'm the captain
So climb aboard
We'll search for tomorrow
On every shore and I'll try
Oh Lord I'll try 
To carry on
I look to the sea
Reflections in the waves spark my memory
Some happy some sad
I think of childhood friends and the dreams we had
We live happily forever
So the story goes
But somehow we missed out
On that pot of gold
But we'll try best that we can
To carry on
A gathering of angels
Appeared above my head
They sang to me this song of hope
And this is what they said
They said, come sail away, come sail away
Come sail away with me (lads)
Come sail away, come sail away
Come sail away with me
Come sail away, come sail away
Come sail away with me (baby)
Come sail away, come sail away
Come sail away with me
I thought that they were angels 
But to my surprise
We climbed aboard their starship
We headed for the skies
Singing, come sail away, come sail away
Come sail away with me (lads)
Come sail away, come sail away
Come sail away with me
Come sail away, come sail away
Come sail away with me...

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Dennis De Young
Come Sail Away lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group 

Monday, March 22, 2021

Want to meet a champion?

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 22, 2021

Today the featured video is Queen, We Are The Champions. Want to meet a champion? Then look in the mirror. If you survived whatever caused PTSD in you, then you are a champion. You defeated what tried to kill you and now it is time to defeat what is trying to destroy you now.

In any conflict, the enemy is not totally obliterated. With PTSD your enemy is confusion and doubt. You get confused about what it is doing to you and you doubt there is anything you can do to keep fighting for a better life.

You may be tired of feeling bad things, so you decide to get numb enough to stop feeling. You may try to get drunk enough to do that but then you regret it in the morning. If you think that only bad feelings are in your future, then you won't try to push them out of your life so you can feel good feelings again.

Living that way sucks! It is like taking that bandage on your soul and ripping it off over and over again.

It is so much better to learn how to defeat the enemy inside of you to be able to know what it feels like to be "you" again.

Remember, it is you life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD
I haven't felt much like a champion the last few days. My ego has been taking a beating. I've done a lot of things that no one will ever know about, and I was feeling really depressed about that until last night. It finally dawned on me that God does a lot of things too no one will ever know about.

The thing is, God tries to get through to people but will not try to control anyone. That is why He gave all of us freewill. How many times has He tired to get people to listen to Him, but they didn't? With so many problems in the world, we always ask why God isn't taking care of it for us. Did we ever wonder why people are not listening to Him about what they can do to fix it?

God tries to get through to me and I know I'm listening if I have peace in my soul. I know I'm only doing what I want if my gut is churning. A lot of times, we do good things but people take advantage of it and we end up regretting it. Don't! You have no power over what they do with what you do for them. The only thing you can do is do it because you know it is the right thing to do and you are being true to yourself. That is another way to be a champion too.
We Are The Champions
Queen

I've paid my dues
Time after time
I've done my sentence
But committed no crime
And bad mistakes
I've made a few
I've had my share of sand
Kicked in my face
But I've come through
And we mean to go on and on and on and on
We are the champions, my friends
And we'll keep on fighting till the end
We are the champions
We are the champions
No time for losers
'Cause we are the champions of the World
I've taken my bows
And my curtain calls
You brought me fame and fortune
And everything that goes with it
I thank you all
But it's been no bed of roses
No pleasure cruise
I consider it a challenge before
The human race
And I ain't gonna lose
And we mean to go on and on and on and on
We are the champions, my friends
And we'll keep on fighting till the end
We are the champions
We are the champions
No time for losers
'Cause we are the champions of the World
We are the champions, my friends
And we'll keep on fighting till the end
We are the champions
We are the champions
No time for losers
'Cause we are the champions of the World

Source: Musixmatch
We Are the Champions lyrics © Queen Music Limited 

Sunday, March 21, 2021

PTSD: the wounds that were carried back home to you

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 21, 2021

Today I am going to let one of the first videos I did on PTSD replace the daily video from me. Wounded Minds was a labor of love back in 2006. It had over 10,000 views but after a couple of years, I moved the videos from YouTube. (Big mistake) Anyway, my confidence was taking beating lately because of  all the reports about people suffering instead of healing. Whenever I get this way, I usually go through old emails to remind me of why I do this work.

One of the old emails I came across was from the ex-wife of a Vietnam veteran. She never stopped loving him but they didn't know what PTSD was before they ended a long marriage. Her kids were suffering, she was suffering and so was the veteran. She said she wished she knew what was in this video before they decided to get divorced. 

I told her it was not too late to still have a relationship with him, or at least try to reconnect. She promised to learn more and then, try to talk to him so he would get help to heal. This is why I do this work. And this is why I will never stop doing it.

Today the featured videos are about relationships ending, but love still existing. The Carpenters, Hurting Each Other and Rose Royce Wishing On A Star.

If you still care about someone you had to walk away from, because you did not know what you needed to know, I hope this comforts you. Keep in mind that you did the best you could with what you knew at the time, and now you know more than you did back then. It is up to you what you do with that knowledge. If nothing else, I hope it helps you heal your heart by knowing it really didn't have anything to do with you, but the wounds that were carried back home to you.
In 2006 I created this video on Wounded Minds. Long before PTSD was in the news, families like mine were doing the best we could to make our veterans lives better. Sometimes we failed but after three decades, I'm still married. I still have no idea how other families do it when they know hardly nothing about PTSD. I knew almost everything and there were times when it was almost impossible to find hope. The key is to learn as much as you can, love as an active partner in their healing and find what works to make your lives better! This is from my old website, NamGuardianAngel. Go to Combat PTSD Wounded Times to learn more.

Hurting Each Other
The Carpenters 

No one in the world
Ever had a love as sweet as my love
For nowhere in the world
Could there be a boy as true as you, love
All my love I give gladly to you
All your love you give gladly to me
Tell me why then, oh why should it be that
We go on hurting each other
We go on hurting each other
Making each other cry
Hurting each other
Without ever knowing why
Closer than the leaves
On a weeping willow, baby, we are
Closer dear are we
Than the simple letters A and B are
All my life I could love only you
All your life you could love only me
Tell me why, then?
Oh why should it be that
We go on hurting each other
We go on hurting each other
Making each other cry
Hurting each other
Without ever knowing why
Can't we stop hurting each other
Gotta stop hurting each other
Making each other cry
Breaking each other's heart
Tearing each other apart
Can't we stop hurting each other
Gotta stop hurting each other
Making each other cry
Breaking each other's heart
Tearing each other apart
Can't we stop hurting each other

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Udell Peter David / Geld Gary
Hurting Each Other lyrics © Bibo Music Publishing, Inc. 


I'm Wishing on a Star
Rose Royce 

I'm wishing on a star
To follow where you are
I'm wishing on a dream
To follow what it means
I'm wishing on a star
To follow where you are
I'm wishing on a dream
To follow what it means
And I'm wishing on the rainbows that I've seen
I'm wishing on the people who really dream
And I'm wishing on tomorrow, praying it'll come
And I'm wishing on all the loving we've ever done
No, I never thought I'd see
A time when you would be
So far away from home
So far away from me
Just think of all the moments that we'd spend
I just can't let you go, for me you were meant
And I didn't mean to hurt you, but I know
That in the game of love you reap what you sow
I feel it's time we should make up, baby
I feel it's time for us to get back together
And make the best of things, oh baby
When we're together, whether or never
I feel it's time we should make up, baby
I feel it's time for us to get back together
And make the best of things, oh baby
When we're together, whether or never, oh
I'm wishing on a star
To follow where you are
I'm wishing on a dream
To follow what it means
And I'm wishing on the rainbows that I've seen
I'm wishing on the people who've ever been
And I'm hoping on all the days to come and days to go
I'm hoping on days of loving you so
I'm wishing on a star
To follow where you are
I'm wishing on a star, oh, oh
And I'm wishing on all the rainbows that I see
I'm wishing on a star
To follow where you are
I'm wishing on a dream, baby
And I'm following all the rainbows that I see

Source: Musixmatch
Wishing on a Star lyrics © Warner-tamerlane Publishing Corp., May Twelfth Music 

Saturday, March 20, 2021

let the dreamers wake the nation

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 13, 2021

Today I picked a fun video, Carley Simon Let The River Run. If you saw the movie Working Girl, then you know it is a story about an average woman with big dreams. Tess McGill (Melanie Griffith) was really smart but didn't have many chances to prove it and change her life...until her boss broke her leg. Even her friends thought she was nuts to try it, but she did and in the end she won.



The song is about dreamers. People dreaming about making something better too. Making their lives different than they are because they believe they can be. What do you believe? Do you believe your life can be different than it is? Do you have chances to prove you are right?

When you have a dream that's great. It sucks if you do not think you have a chance in hell of making it happen. If you have PTSD, it sucks wanting to be happier but believing there is no way it can happen because that was what you heard. If you know it can happen, then you find a way to make that dream come true.

You get a roadmap to get you from where you are to where you want to be. You believe in yourself because you know in your heart it is possible and one mile at a time, you learn how to get there. When you do, you discover that you can win first place in a better life for yourself too.

If you know how to heal because you did it, then wake the rest of the people up in the nation so they can dream about doing it too! 

Remember, it is you life...get in and drive it! 
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD
    
Let the River Run
Carly Simon

Let the river run
Let all the dreamers wake the nation
Come, the New Jerusalem
Silver cities rise
The morning lights the streets that lead them
And sirens call them on with a song
It's asking for the taking
Trembling, shaking
Oh, my heart is aching
We're coming to the edge
Running on the water
Coming through the fog
Your sons and daughters
We the great and small
Stand on a star
And blaze a trail of desire
Through the darkening dawn
It's asking for the taking
Come run with me now
The sky is the colour of blue
You've never even seen
In the eyes of your lover
Oh, my heart is aching
We're coming to the edge
Running on the water
Coming through the fog
Your sons and daughters
It's asking for the taking
Trembling, shaking
Oh, my heart is aching
We're coming to the edge
Running on the water
Coming through the fog
Your sons and daughters
Let the river run (Let the river run)
Let all the dreamers (let all the dreamers)
Wake the nation (wake the nation)
Come, the New Jerusalem

Source: Musixmatch
Let the River Run lyrics © Universal Music Corp., C'est Music, Tcf Music Publishing Inc 

Friday, March 19, 2021

Violence Against Women Act...for women like me!

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 19, 2021 

"And I've been down there on the floor" when my ex-husband decided I needed to die. It wasn't bad enough he came home from work, started another argument like always, but this time, he decided to hit me. I hit back. Ten minutes later, after grabbing whatever I could to hit him with, being chased from room to room and screaming for help, he got me on the floor, got on top of me with his hands on my neck and tried to strangle me. It was the first time he hit me...and the last.

He stalked me for about a year, as far as I was aware. He drove muscle cars, so as soon as I heard the sound of an engine like that, it all came back. Nightmares, flashbacks, mood swings, paranoia and panic. About 2 years after it happened, I met my current husband. We dated about a year and a half when we decided to get married. I had to get in touch with my ex-husband for the annulment because I wanted to get married in the church again. The next day, he walked over to my husband to be and introduced himself. 

That was even worse for me because then I knew for sure, when I thought I was free of him and safe from him, I really wasn't. There is no way he would have know who I was marrying if he hadn't been following us all that time.

Years later, we moved from Massachusetts to Florida. Even down there, the sound would cause instant panic and all that came with it. It wasn't until my cousin sent me his obituary notice from the newspaper letting me know I was finally free of him, that I knew he would never hurt me again.

It wasn't until last year when my daughter and I were talking about this and she said, "You never told me you had PTSD." I said, "I didn't." Then she let me know that was exactly what I said I had. All those years I was in a sort of denial, even though I had become and expert on PTSD and dedicated almost 40 years to helping others heal. The thing was, all the research I did, never once had what I was dealing with. I saw two therapists and they didn't see it in me. Maybe researchers need to start looking at that too.

Anyway, I am telling you all this because the Violence Against Women Act has passed the House. It is up to the Senate to pass it now. If you don't think it is important because you do not know anyone it happened to, you do now. If you are reading this, then it means you know what I do and why I do it, but now you cannot ignore the price paid by women like me when the laws were much different. There was nothing there for me and very few resources. 

This Act will provide justice but there are some in the Senate saying they will not support it. I am asking you to contact your Senator and ask them if they will support this and if not, ask them why they are defending the abusers, because that is exactly what they are doing.

Now you know too much to go back and pretend, so please don't let us go down that road again. Let the Senate hear you roar in numbers too big to ignore~
House Renews Violence Against Women Act, But Senate Hurdles Remain
NPR
Susan Davis
March 17, 2021
The House approved with bipartisan support a reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act, a popular 1994 law that protects and provides resources for victims of domestic abuse and sexual violence. The measure passed 244-172.

As a senator, President Biden played a lead role in passing the landmark law, which he recently called "one of my proudest legislative achievements."

The law was last reauthorized in 2013, but it lapsed at the end of 2018 after Congress failed to act due to partisan disputes over guns and transgender issues. The lapse has had little practical effect because Congress continues to fund related programs despite the lack of authorization.

The core legislation has broad support, but certain provisions added to the bill in the previous Congress exposed divisions among Republicans. In 2019, the House passed the measure with 33 Republicans voting with Democrats, but it was never brought up in the then-GOP-led Senate.
read more here
Rep. Debbie Dingell also knows what it is like. (Detriot News)
Dingell has openly discussed growing up in a household where she lived with domestic violence, noting statistics that 1 in 15 children also witness domestic violence.

"We don't forget about hiding in closets. Or our father taking locks off of doors. Or my grabbing a gun from my father, so he wouldn't kill my mother, and being convinced that we would die," Dingell said of her early life with her siblings.


I am woman, hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore
And I know too much to go back an' pretend
'Cause I've heard it all before
And I've been down there on the floor
No one's ever gonna keep me down again


I Am Woman
Helen Reddy

I am woman, hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore
And I know too much to go back an' pretend
'Cause I've heard it all before
And I've been down there on the floor
No one's ever gonna keep me down again
Oh yes I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to, I can do anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman
You can bend but never break me
'Cause it only serves to make me
More determined to achieve my final goal
And I come back even stronger
Not a novice any longer
'Cause you've deepened the conviction in my soul
Oh yes I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to, I can do anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman
I am woman watch me grow
See me standing toe to toe
As I spread my lovin' arms across the land
But I'm still an embryo
With a long long way to go
Until I make my brother understand
Oh yes I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to I can face anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman
Oh, I am woman
I am invincible
I am strong
I am woman
I am invincible
I am strong
I am woman

Source: Musixmatch
I Am Woman lyrics © Buggerlugs Music Co., Irving Music, Inc. 

I was on Choose Rochester New Hampshire Podcast and talking about this along with the work I do.

Thursday, March 18, 2021

Who did you run away from?

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 18, 2021

Who did you run away from? If you have PTSD, leaving the people in your life is common. It is also common that you never gave them a chance to know what you were going through, and all too likely, left them without ever telling them the real reason that made you leave. If you did, then your biggest problem is not having PTSD. Your biggest problem is having it but not knowing what it is. If you did, then you'd know there is nothing to be ashamed of. You're a survivor of something that could have killed you and that is the only reason you got hit by PTSD.

If you didn't give the people you shared your life with a chance, then you pre-judged them. You didn't give them a chance to support you, comfort you, help you, or yes, decide they didn't want to stay with you. You just assumed it would end badly.

Today the featured videos are Carole King, So Far Away and The 5th Dimension One Less Bell To Answer. More than likely the people you walked away from have no idea why you did. You'll never know until you try to communicate with them and explain it to them. First learn what you need to know and then give them a chance. If you think the next relationship will be any different, it won't be because they will not really know you and you will prove you really don't trust them.
Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD
So Far Away
Carole King

So far away
Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore?
It would be so fine to see your face at my door
Doesn't help to know
You're just time away
Long ago, I reached for you and there you stood
Holding you again could only do me good
How I wish I could
But you're so far away
One more song about movin' along the highway
Can't say much of anything that's new
If I could only work this life out my way
I'd rather spend it bein' close to you
But, you're so far away
Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore?
It would be so fine to see your face at my door
Doesn't help to know
You're so far away
Yeah, you're so far away
Traveling around sure gets me down and lonely
Nothing else to do but close my mind
I sure hope the road don't come to own me
There's so many dreams I've yet to find
But you're so far away
Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore?
It would be so fine to see your face at my door
And it doesn't help to know
You're so far away
Yeah, you're so far away
Hey, you're so far away

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: King Carole
So Far Away lyrics © Straitjacket Songs Ltd. 


One Less Bell To Answer
5th Dimension 

One less bell to answer...
One less egg to fry
One less man to pick up after
I should be happy
But all I do is cry
(Cry cry no more laughter)
Oh, I should be happy
(Oh, why did he go?)
I only know that since he left
My life's so empty
Though I try to forget
It just can't be done
Each time the doorbell rings
I still run (I still run)
I don't know how in the world
To stop thinking of him
'Cause I still love him so
(Love him so)
I end each day the way I start out
Crying my heart out
Oh...
One less man to pick up after...
No more laughter...
No more love... (no more love)
Since he went
Oh, he went away
(He went away)
(One less bell to answer)
Why did he leave me?
(Oh why why did he leave?)
Now I've got one less egg to fry (one less bell to answer)
One less egg to fry
(Oh why why did he leave?) And all I do is cry
(One less bell to answer) Because my man told me goodbye
(Oh why why did he leave?)
(One less bell to answer) Somebody tell me please where did he go? why did he go?
(Oh, why?) Tell me how could he leave me
(Why did he leave?)

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: David Hal / Bacharach Burt F
One Less Bell To Answer lyrics © New Hidden Valley Music Co., New Hidden Valley Music Company, Casa David Music, Songs Of Fujimusic, New Hidden Valley Music Co, Bmg Rights Management (uk) Ltd (hal David) 

Wednesday, March 17, 2021

PTSD Make Everyday A Better Bonus Day

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 17, 2021

When you survive something, there is an expression, "Everyday is a bonus."
BONUS: something in addition to what is expected or strictly due
If you have PTSD, and are suffering, it can be hard to think of your following days that way. But you can make a #BetterBonusDay everyday from this point on.

You do change after you survive. I did every time an "it" happened. I changed after the first two it happened in one night, along with all the other times. You go through the grieving process. Something died inside you and something else replaced it. The person you were before, is not 100% of the person you become the day afterwards and all the days to follow that day.

"But now friends are acting strange, and they shake their heads, they say I've changed." Maybe you thought that way a time or two...or more, after you survived whatever caused PTSD to hit you. In my case, friends would be worried if I wasn't acting strange, because they'd know I changed, without a doubt.

I've seen PTSD from both sides now and I know that the better side of it is a lot happier than the side of darkness. This is why today the featured song in Joni Mitchell, Both Sides Now.


So what do you want to do with your bonus day? I wanted to change the world. I wanted to make a difference being alive. Maybe because I was so young when I was introduced to having my life on the line, I had a head start on healing. (Excuse the pun because it was head trauma at the age of 5.) All the other times, were added onto the scars that were already there. 

What do you want to do? Do you want to be better in your own life? Then it is time to heal the scars in your life so you can come closer to whatever you want your bonus days to be.

Get help to heal, in whatever way you need it to be. Therapy, support groups, educating yourself, talking to friends, or whatever will help you that isn't drugs or alcohol. 

That takes care of your mind healing, but you also have to heal your body. Every part of your was involved in whatever "it" was. Go for a walk, do Yoga, meditation, play music, write, create art, anything that will help your body to find calmness enough so it gets used to not being fed by adrenaline rushes.

Now for your spirit. If you are struggling wondering why you survived, listen to your soul and find out what you were put here on this earth to do with your life. Want to be a better person, then start there. As you get stronger, help others understand how much power they have to heal too. 

People will notice the change in you from that side of your life's better bonus day!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD
Both Sides Now
Joni Mitchell

Rows and flows of angel hair
And ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons every where
Looked at clouds that way
But now they only block the sun
They rain and snow on everyone
So many things I would have done
But clouds got in my way
I've looked at clouds from both sides now
From up and down and still somehow
It's cloud's illusions I recall
I really don't know clouds at all
Moons and Junes and ferries wheels
The dizzy dancing way that you feel
As every fairy tale comes real
I've looked at love that way
But now it's just another show
And you leave 'em laughing when you go
And if you care, don't let them know
Don't give yourself away
I've looked at love from both sides now
From give and take and still somehow
It's love's illusions that I recall
I really don't know love 
Really don't know love at all
Tears and fears and feeling proud
To say, "I love you" right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds
I've looked at life that way
Oh, but now old friends they're acting strange
And they shake their heads, they say I've changed
Well something's lost, but something's gained
In living every day
I've looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all
It's life's illusions that I recall
I really don't know life
I really don't know life at all

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Joni Mitchell
Both Sides, Now lyrics © Crazy Crow Music / Siquomb Music Publishing 
Then you can tell someone, you'll stand by them to get there too!

I'll Stand by You ( LIVE )
Chrissie Hynde 

Oh, why you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don't be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
'Cause I've seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you
You don't know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
So if you're mad, get mad
Don't hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
Hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
Well I'm a lot like you
When you're standing at the crossroads
And don't know which path to choose
Let me come along
'Cause even if you're wrong
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
And when
When the night falls on you, baby
You're feeling all alone
You won't be on your own
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Thomas Kelly / Christine Hynde / Billy Steinberg
I'll Stand by You lyrics © BMG Rights Management 

Tuesday, March 16, 2021

better days with better ways

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 16, 2021

Are you fighting people who are trying to help you? Are you fighting God? Are you fighting yourself? You know you are not the way you want to be, not the way you used to be and nothing looks the way it did before. What are you doing about it? Are you trying to find someone to blame for the way your life is? Then maybe you should start with yourself because for whatever reason, you ended up believing you are a lost cause.

Time to start believing you are a worthy of better days.

Most of the time, survivors left the church because they did not find what they needed there. At least that is what some say but the truth is, what you needed was the foundation the faith was built on. That foundation is Jesus. Personally I don't attend church anymore and became a Chaplain so that I could care for the needs of fellow churchless souls, much like Jesus and His disciples did. They went to where the people were and tended to their needs, giving them reason to hope for better days, learning a better way to live and know they were loved.

Look at His life! He was raised poor, spent His ministry homeless and had no possessions. He was treated like a rock star one minute and hated the next by the same people who ended up shouting for Him to be Crucified. He knew what it was like to feel abandoned, betrayed, tested, and He knew what it was like to feel the emotional pain of someone else so deeply, He cried for them. He got angry.

There is no way of knowing why you survived and others did not. The only thing you can be sure of, is you did and it is up to you to define what you will do for the rest of your life. If you are blaming God that is because you think He judged you and wanted you to suffer...but those are your thoughts and not His.

PTSD strikes the emotional part of your brain and that is where your soul lives. If your soul has a strong emotional core, then you feel things more deeply. That means you love more deeply and feel pain stronger than others. What you may not be aware of is how powerful that soul of yours is. Everything you need to heal is already there. The purpose of getting help is to help you find it within yourself. One more thing you may not be aware of is that Jesus, the Son of God, had no problem asking for help when He needed it. He couldn't have done what He was sent here to do, alone.


This is why today the featured video is Goo Goo Dolls, Better Days. You may think it is about Christmas but if you remember what church services were like, it was all about that one day when He came into this world, and the day He left all His love behind for all of our days!


Better Days
Goo Goo Dolls

And you asked me what I want this year
And I try to make this kind and clear
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
'Cause I don't need boxes wrapped in strings
And designer love and empty things
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
So take these words and sing out loud
'Cause everyone is forgiven now
'Cause tonight's the night the world begins again
I need some place simple where we could live
And something only you can give
And that's faith and trust and peace while we're alive
And the one poor child who saved this world
And there's ten million more who probably could
If we all just stopped and said a prayer for them
So take these words and sing out loud
'Cause everyone is forgiven now
'Cause tonight's the night the world begins again
I wish everyone was loved tonight
And somehow stop this endless fight
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
So take these words and sing out loud
'Cause everyone is forgiven now
'Cause tonight's the night the world begins again
'Cause tonight's the night the world begins again

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: John Rzeznik
Better Days lyrics © Songtrust Ave, BMG Rights Management



Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD


And if you are among those who suffered because you were willing to risk your life for the sake of others, understand that PTSD Is Not God's Judgment.

Monday, March 15, 2021

Sunday will never be the same

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 15, 2021

Has your memory played tricks on you? Did you ever remember something that wasn't true, or at least not entirely true?

This morning an example of that happened to me. Usually I pick out the music for the featured video during the day depending on what the message is, if I already thought of it. Sometimes I'll hear a song on the radio and it changes my mood, or takes me back to a different time in my life. Other times, like this morning, a song will pop into my head. An old song I hadn't heard in a long time popped in and I was happy thinking about it. The beat was uplifting and I thought great day to feature it. That was until I looked up the lyrics to Spanky and Our Gang Sunday Will Never Be The Same. It wasn't a happy song.

Sunday Will Never Be the Same
Spanky and Our Gang

I remember Sunday morning
I would meet him at the park
We'd walk together hand in hand
Till it was almost dark
Now I wake up Sunday morning
Walk along the lane to find
Nobody waiting for me
Sunday's just another day
Sunday will never be the same
(Sunday will never be the same)
I lost my baby's heart
I must be back again
Sunny afternoons that made me feel so warm inside
Have turned as cold and gray as ashes
As I feel the embers die
No longer can I walk these paths for they have changed
I must be home the sun is gone and I think it's gonna rain
I remember children
Feeding flocks of pigeons
I remember sunshine and you were mine
Sunday will never be the same
Sunday will never be the same
Sunday will never be the same

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Terry Cashman / Gene Pistilli
Sunday Will Never Be the Same lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group 

That came out in 1967. I was really young. I've heard it a lot over the years, but it has been a long time. My mind focused on the music, which is really upbeat, but since the lyrics were forgotten, I didn't remember the sadness. So why is it so hard to remember things the other way around?

Sometimes when you remember the event or events that caused PTSD, all you can remember is the horrible parts. There were other parts that were a lot better, but the strongest memory is the one that took hold. You had some good things happen too. You could have had someone save you. Someone may have come to help you afterwards. More than likely, people you know showed up to see if they could help, to visit you, call you, or offer comfort in whatever way they could. The memories are all still there and you can make the better memories stronger than the bad ones.

Our minds also play tricks because every part of us is involved in the event. Our mind, body and spirit are all hit. Every sense we have absorbs whatever is there just as our eyes take it all in, even though we don't notice what is being recorded in our brains. That is why a smell can be a trigger of the event, or a sound (like with me) and even an anniversary date we do not consciously remember pops up and we are not connecting "then" to our life now.

You need to find some peace with the bad by going back to look at the good that came with it. Keep focusing on that. Those memories will get stronger than the bad ones.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Sunday, March 14, 2021

"there is a better life for me and you."

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 14, 2021

Are you letting PTSD make you miserable? (In this dirty old part of the city where the sun refused to shine) Do you think it is pointless to try to live a happier life? (People tell me there ain't no use in tryin') Why the hell would you believe them?

If you are sick and tired of hearing doom and gloom from people without a single clue about what is possible, then it is time to get out of that place of doubt and into a place of hope because "there is a better life for me and you."

Sometimes over the years, I tried to help someone who seemed to like being miserable. Never could understand someone actually wanting others to feel sorry for them. They treated PTSD like a contest, trying to beat someone else's story of what caused their PTSD. They were sucking all the oxygen out of the room. Other people, who had a hard time talking about their lives, ended up looking at the floor and remained silent. Most people don't want to talk about it even though they know they need to in order to begin to heal.

The worst part was, when people did try to talk, they were shut down. The "patients" in a lot of therapy sessions were forced to tell the their story over and over again and they relieved all the horrible moments, over and over again. The thing was, they were already doing that during flashbacks and nightmares. There was no closure in that type of treatment. Most groups worked a lot better if they were run by someone who did not let one dominate the entire session. Feeling safe to talk, starts to take power away from PTSD. The sooner you start, the sooner is loses power and the sooner you get happier!

Understanding that surviving caused PTSD, is half the battle. There should be no shame in surviving what happened to you. And there is certainly no reason to believe you have to suffer for surviving.
 
Today the featured video is The Animals We Got To Get Out Of This Place
Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

We Got To Get Out Of This Place
The Animals

In this dirty old part of the city
Where the sun refused to shine
People tell me there ain't no use in tryin'
Now my girl, you're so young and pretty
And one thing I know is true
You'll be dead before your time is due, I know
Watch my daddy in bed a-dyin'
Watched his hair been turnin' grey
He's been workin' and slavin' his life away, oh yes I know it
And I've been workin' too, baby (yeah!)
Every night and day (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!)
We gotta get out of this place
If it's the last thing we ever do
We gotta get out of this place
'Cause girl, there's a better life for me and you
Now my girl you're so young and pretty
And one thing I know is true, yeah
You'll be dead before your time is due, I know it
Watch my daddy in bed a-dyin'
Watched his hair been turnin' grey, yeah
He's been workin' and slavin' his life away
I know he's been workin' so hard
Every day baby (yeah!)
Whoa!
(Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!)
We gotta get out of this place
If it's the last thing we ever do
We gotta get out of this place
Girl, there's a better life for me and you
Somewhere baby
Somehow I know it, baby
We gotta get out of this place
If it's the last thing we ever do
We gotta get out of this place
Girl, there's a better life for me and you
Believe me baby
I know it baby
You know it too

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Barry Mann / Cynthia Weil
We Gotta Get out of This Place lyrics © EMI Music Publishing 

bonus
House Of The Rising Sun

It's My Life

Saturday, March 13, 2021

Glorious Victorious

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 13, 2021

What does it feel like since you survived whatever caused PTSD in you? Does it feel as if hope is being sucked right out of you? That you are surrounded by misery and suffering? Are you wondering why the hell you got up out of bed this morning? Or does it feel like you are just sucking up all the hope you can find to live like a survivor?

Isn't it time that you decided that a happier life is so much better than a sucky one?

You are the only one who can decide for yourself. No one else has the power to control what you are willing to do with the rest of your life. Everything you need to heal is already inside of you. All the qualities you had are still there. All the things that made you smile, feel joy and happiness are still there.

That is why there are two featured videos today. Glorious by Macklemore and One Little Victory by Rush. You can discover how glorious it is to be victorious. After all, that is exactly what you are. You are victorious over whatever caused PTSD. You walked away. It did not destroy you. Why let it destroy you now?

Make the choice to heal and be happy with the rest of your life. Learn what PTSD is and what it is doing so you can also learn how much power you do have over it.


Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD 

GLORIOUS
MACKLEMORE FEAT SKYLAR GREY
(OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO)

You know I'm back like I never left
Another sprint, another step
Another day, another breath
Been chasing dreams, but I never slept
I got a new attitude and a lease on life
And some peace of mind
Seek and I find I can sleep when I die
Wanna piece of the pie, grab the keys to the ride
And shit I'm straight
I'm on my wave, I'm on my wave
Get out my wake, I'm running late, what can I say?
I heard you die twice, once when they bury you in the grave
And the second time is the last time that somebody mentions your name
So when I leave here on this earth, did I take more than I gave?
Did I look out for the people or did I do it all for fame?
Legend it's exodus searching for euphoria
Trudging through the mud to find the present, no ignoring us
Got 20, 000 deep off in the street like we some warriors
My mama told me never bow your head, woo!
I feel glorious, glorious
Got a chance to start again
I was born for this, born for this
It's who I am, how could I forget?
I made it through the darkest part of the night
And now I see the sunrise
Now I feel glorious, glorious
I feel glorious, glorious
I'm feeling glorious
The crib looking Victorian (oh yes it is)
You know that we been going in
Since we hopped out that Delorean (Delorean, yeah we win)
En garde, things are just things
They don't make you who you are
Can't pack up a U-Haul and take it with you when you're gone
We posted on the porch, my family's glasses to the stars
My grandma smiling down on me like woo, that boy got bars
Okay, okay, yes I do
I said amen and hallelujah, let me testify too
Another morning, a morning, don't let self get in my way
I got my breath, I got my faith and I remember why I came
I feel glorious, glorious
Got a chance to start again
I was born for this, born for this
It's who I am, how could I forget?
I made it through the darkest part of the night
And now I see the sunrise
Now I feel glorious, glorious
I feel glorious, glorious
We gon' be alright, put that on my life
When I open my eyes, hope I see you shine
We're planting a flag they don't understand
The world is up for grabs
We gon' be alright, put that on my life
When I open my eyes, hope I see you shine
We're planting a flag they don't understand
The world is up for grabs
I feel glorious, glorious
Got a chance to start again
I was born for this, born for this
It's who I am, how could I forget?
I made it through the darkest part of the night
And now I see the sunrise
Now I feel glorious, glorious
I feel glorious, glorious

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Kelly Claude / Guetta David / Tuinfort Giorgio H / Hafermann Holly B Glorious lyrics © Sony/atv Songs Llc, What A Publishing Limited, What A Publishing Ltd, Hipgnosis Songs Fund Limited


One Little Victory
Rush 

A certain measure of innocence
Willing to appear naive
A certain degree of imagination
A measure of make-believe
A certain degree of surrender
To the forces of light and heat
A shot of satisfaction
In a willingness to risk defeat
Celebrate the moment
As it turns into one more
Another chance at victory
Another chance to score
The measure of the moment
In a difference of degree
Just one little victory
A spirit breaking free
One little victory
The greatest act can be
One little victory
A certain measure of righteousness
A certain amount of force
A certain degree of determination
Daring on a different course
A certain amount of resistance
To the forces of the light and love
A certain measure of tolerance
A willingness to rise above
One little victory
One little victory
One little victory
One little victory
Celebrate the moment
As it turns into one more
Another chance at victory
Another chance to score
The measure of the moment
In a difference of degree
Just one little victory
A spirit breaking free
The greatest act can be
One little victory
The greatest act can be
One little victory
One little victory
One little victory
One little victory
One little victory
Just one little victory
Just one little victory
One little victory
One little victory

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Lee / Peart / Lifeson
One Little Victory lyrics © Ole Core Music Publishing, Anthem Core Music Publishing 
#gloriousvictorious

Calling all angels

Wounded Times PTSD Patrol Kathie Costos April 15, 2021 Today my heart is broken. Two reports about the suicides in the military and vetera...

PTSD Patrol

PTSD Patrol
It is your life, get in and drive it