Showing posts with label PTSD. Show all posts
Showing posts with label PTSD. Show all posts

Friday, May 28, 2021

If GOP Senators block investigation of Capitol attack, remember all of it

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 28, 2021


Yesterday Capitol Police Officer Brian Sicknick's Mother paid a visit to GOP members of the Senate begging them to vote for the investigation as to who was behind the attack so that people would be held accountable for what they did leading to his death, and injuries of the other officers, and the threat that is still hanging over all of them that it can happen again.

If Republicans refuse to have the investigation into the Capitol attack, remember their names as much as we remember what they already said.

"There is no question, done, that President Trump is practically and morally responsible for provoking the event of the day." That is what Mitch McConnell said before he tried to explain why he voted against impeaching Trump for it.

One by one, Republicans who were repulsed by what happened, on that horrible day, decided that it was time to just move on and forget about it. What made all of this worse, is what they ended up doing and saying afterwards. Now, they are trying to block holding people accountable for it by investigating exactly what happened. That is what is owed to the American people and all those who serve the people in the People's House.

“If you didn't know that TV footage was a video from January the sixth, you would actually think it was a normal tourist visit.” Rep. Andrew Clyde

“As one of the members who stayed in the Capitol, and on the House floor, who with other Republican colleagues helped barricade the door until almost 3 p.m. from the mob who tried to enter, I can tell you the House floor was never breached and it was not an insurrection. This is the truth,” Clyde claimed.

Does that mean he does that on a normal basis for normal tourists?
Republican loyal to Trump claims Capitol riot looked more like 'normal tourist visit' The comments by Rep. Andrew Clyde, R-Ga., during a House Oversight Committee marked the latest attempt by some Republicans to revise the narrative around the deadly Capitol riot.


UPDATE: The votes are in. It failed because only 6 Republican Senators voted for it...you can read more on ABC
Democrats needed 10 Republicans to join them to overcome the GOP filibuster but only Sens. Mitt Romney of Utah, Susan Collins of Maine, Murkowski of Alaska, Ben Sasse of Nebraska, Rob Portman of Ohio and Bill Cassidy of Louisiana voted to advance the legislation.

Tuesday, May 25, 2021

"the smiles returning to the faces"

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 25, 2021

I think I have spring fever! I just got back after being out on this beautiful day and noticing how many people are smiling again. That is what getting vaccinated does. I wear a mask when I am shopping on in enclosed spaces with strangers, but it is off when I am with friends or walking around. Seeing people smile is a wonderful thing, instead of just seeing their eyes crinkle up above their masks. People are a lot happier.

That is what it is like healing PTSD. You do what you need to do to recover and you end up with spring fever too. You get happier. The people in your life get happier. Your family and friends, co-workers end up happier. Maybe they didn't know what was going on with you, but they knew something was happening inside of you. They also noticed when things started to turn around for you.

Today the featured video is The Beatles, Here Comes The Sun. It has been a "long, cold lonely winter." But the sun is coming back and so is your smile.

Enjoy being able to enjoy healing and being happier!


Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Here Comes The Sun (Take 9)
The Beatles

Here comes the sun do, do, do
Here comes the sun
And I say it's all right
Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun do, do, do
Here comes the sun
And I say it's all right
Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces
Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun do, do, do
Here comes the sun
And I say it's all right
Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear
Here comes the sun do, do, do
Here comes the sun
And I say it's all right
Here comes the sun do, do, do
Here comes the sun
And I say it's all right

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: George Harrison
Here Comes The Sun (Take 9) lyrics © Harrisongs Ltd 

Monday, May 24, 2021

Live for those you love and heal

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 24, 2021

Today the featured video is one I did back in 2012. Alive Day with Donna Summer, I Will Live For Love. I created it when I was working with veterans and their families. It was a few years after I started posting on Wounded Times about the rise in suicides within the military and among veterans. Back then it was thought that there were 18 veterans committing suicide everyday and it was my effort to get them, along with the members of the military to think about PTSD in a different way.

All humans need to think about PTSD and mental health in a different way. Why you didn't see Post Bulletin footage of a suicide attempt? was the headline from The Post Bulletin by Jeff Pieters (May 21, 2021) about a repoter capturing the moment when a suicide was prevented by Police Officers. The reason they made the choice to not release the footage is something that all of us should pay attention to...and oh, by the way, I totally approve!
News reporting that informs you sometimes can hurt vulnerable people. Here's how one coverage decision was made.
As humans in society, we have an interest in our fellow people, the different ways they live their lives, the things that they achieve, and the fates that sometimes befall them. We expect, in our free society, to be informed. And yes, there will be hard and unpleasant stories in the Post Bulletin from time to time.

But when there is a cost to the subject, we have to weigh that against the public's desire to know. Does someone who has a drug addiction deserve to be spotlighted for his or her fairly minor misdeeds? Should the sight of somebody having their worst day — a mental health breakdown on a highway bridge in Rochester — be put on display to thousands of pairs of eyes?

And, as Gayle reminded me, sometimes it's more than the individual who bears the cost of the stigma and shame. "There's so little awareness of the impact on families," she said. "The hidden, invisible and innocent victims."

In the end, after much thought and discussion, we made the choice. We would not publish or post our images of what happened on that bridge.
It is never just the one with PTSD or any other mental health condition, but their families as well. I know what it is like to be "family" as well as what it is like to be the "one" dealing with depression so sever I was praying that God would let me die. It was after my daughter was born and I had walked around with an infection for months before it took over my body. I was in the hospital and so sad about things that I just didn't want to do any of it anymore. (Long story but you can read it in For The Love Of Jack) My husband came into the room when I woke up. He had our daughter in his arms. I looked at her and I knew I couldn't leave her. I decided to live for love.


Part of the reason why I stopped working exclusively with veterans and families was the fact that somehow the desire to expose the fact suicides were going up among veterans and members of the military, so that someone would do something to prevent them, was replaced by people making a lot of noise and money off the fact they were doing it. Prevention efforts were drowned out by the ever crowded growing numbers of people wanting fame and fortune instead of saving lives. Suicide prevention was replaced by suicide awareness. As more and more people were committing suicide, the focus and funding was all about veterans. I thought it was time that all us humans were worthy of living.

Maybe that is why most people decide to fight to take back our lives from whatever we're fighting. The people will love are worth fighting for. That is why I Will Live For Love is the featured video today.

Let it be your alive day and live for those you love by healing and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD
Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
 
Dream-a-Lot’s Theme (I Will Live for Love)
Donna Summer

There's got to be a way that I can dream
Simply close my eyes and see
The worlds I've never known
What places that my soul has been
Sometimes I need to run away and hide
And soar above the clouds and ride
I sail along so high
Till nothing's in my sky
Except the stars that fill my eyes
And I will live for love
Where ever it may lead
It's written from the start
I know it's face by heart
I will live for love
I'm searching for the one who holds the key
To all this crazy life I lead
Through galaxies in time
A solitary star that joins
Sometimes I need to close my eyes and breathe
Inhale what life's been given me
A passion to ignite
A flaming heart a' flight
I close my eyes
I breathe
I'm free
And I will live for love
Where ever it may lead
It's written from the start
I know it's face by heart
I will live for love
The poet must have known
A lover of his own
"Cause that is when he wrote
Everything I felt for love
And I will fight for love in life and life in love
And I will hold to things above
I'm strong enough to slay the dragon dead and there
I will live for love
I'm taller than the sky
This dream will never die
So only know that I
I will live for love
The poet must have known
A lover of his own
That is when he wrote everything I felt for love
I will ever fight
I will live for life
I will live for love

Genius Lyrics 

Sunday, May 23, 2021

Come soak this dry heart with healing rain

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 23, 2021

A drug addict, a drunk and a homeless man were alone, lost and lonely. Then someone came to invite them to get soaked in the rain. That was probably the only invitation they had in years. The featured video today is Michael Smith, Healing Rain. I bet you thought that was going to be a joke.

Because the pandemic hit only a few months after we moved to New Hampshire, we didn't know too many people. It was really hard being isolated and not knowing our way around. The blessing was, our daughter was already here, which is why we moved. Some friends we had many years lived fairly close and they made it easier, making sure we got out of the house and spent time with them.

We were lucky but too many were not. When you are lonely, your mind takes over, and most of the time, not in a good way. Sad and lonely, you can end up telling yourself that no one wants you around. You look back at your life and all the times you felt like an outcast become stronger than the memories of when you felt as if you belonged somewhere. You may know you need help, but sooner or later you end up telling yourself you are not worth helping.

Then someone comes along to let you know you are worth their time and they offer you hope.

Let the redeemed of the Lord say so, whom he hath redeemed from the hand of the enemy

The enemy is no longer what caused PTSD, but it is PTSD trying to take over the rest of your life. When you have it, you feel like an outcast. Lost, hopeless and not worth helping, you give up on others because you gave up on yourself. The thing is, the others who have healed, know exactly what that feels like for you, because they went through it too. 

I was with Point Man International Ministries for years until I started to work with survivors from all causes. They are veterans and work with veterans and their families. Way back in 1984 they figured out that healing had to be done with treating the whole veteran. Their mind, their body and above all, their spirit, needed care. They knew this because they had suffered too. They were lost, lonely and felt like outcast too. Some had turned to drugs, alcohol, and some tried to end their own lives, but they were helped by others who knew exactly what it felt like on both sides of healing. They were there to show the way to get to the better side of it.

Alcoholics Anonymous Narcotics Anonymous work the same way...someone knows what it is like to be struggling alone, but they know what it was like when someone came along and helped them heal.

There are groups all over the country doing the work with other survivors and you can find them by just doing a Google search for PTSD, whatever caused yours, and spiritual support. The thing is, if you try one but find they are not a good match for what you believe, then find another group. Keep looking until you find one to fill your soul, not try to convert it.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Healing Rain
Michael W. Smith

Healing rain is coming down
It's coming nearer to this old town.
Rich and poor, weak and strong
It's bringing mercy, it won't be long.
Healing rain is coming down
It's coming closer to the lost and found.
Tears of joy and tears of shame
Are washed forever in Jesus' name.
Healing rain, it comes with fire
So let it fall and take us higher.
Healing rain, I'm not afraid
To be washed in Heaven's rain.
Lift your heads, let us return
To the mercy seat where time began.
And in your eyes I see the pain.
Come soak this dry heart with healing rain.
And only you, the Son of Man
Can take a leper and let him stand.
So lift your hands, they can be held
By someone greater, the Great I Am.
Healing rain, it comes with fire
So let it fall and take us higher.
Healing rain, I'm not afraid
To be washed in Heaven's rain.
To be washed in Heaven's rain.
Healing rain is falling down,
Healing rain is falling down,
I'm not afraid.
I'm not afraid.
Healing rain is falling down,
Healing rain is falling down,
I'm not afraid.
I'm not afraid.
Healing rain is falling down,
Healing rain is falling down,
I'm not afraid.
I'm not afraid.
Healing rain is falling down,
Healing rain is falling down,
I'm not afraid.
I'm not afraid.
Healing rain is falling down,
Healing rain is falling down,
I'm not afraid.
I'm not afraid.

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Martin Smith / Matthew Bronleewe / Michael Smith
Healing Rain lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc, BMG Rights Management

Michael W. Smith - Healing Rain (Official Music Video)

Saturday, May 22, 2021

GOP delivered message that cause of PTSD is no big deal

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 22, 2021

**Warning: If you want to consider this political instead of what it is, then you very well could be part of the problem people with PTSD have been dealing with.**


POLITICS EXTREMISM THE CAPITOL ATTACK WAS THE MOST DOCUMENTED CRIME IN HISTORY. WILL THAT ENSURE JUSTICE?
That is the headline on TIME.
To pierce the mass of people gathered there, each group member placed a hand on the back of the person ahead of them—a military-style tactic prosecutors called a “stack.” The group, clad in tactical vests, helmets and radios, forcibly entered through the Capitol rotunda doors, where James and Minuta followed 25 minutes later. “It’s going down, guys; it’s literally going down right now Patriots storming the Capitol building,” said Minuta, according to court documents. “F*cking war in the streets right now… word is they got in the building… let’s go.”

And now there are members of the GOP House and Senate claiming there was no violence and all the invaders were like regular tourists.

GOP efforts to downplay danger of Capitol riot increase, The Hill
Attempts to whitewash the violence of the Jan. 6 insurrection and cast the rioters as sympathetic characters are becoming increasingly common among Republican members of Congress.

Sen. Ron Johnson (R-Wis.) this week said it was a “false narrative” to say “there were thousands of armed insurrectionists breaching the Capitol,” while Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Ga.) said the rioters charged with crimes were facing overly harsh treatment in jail and questioned why Congress isn’t also investigating liberal protests over racial justice last year that at times turned violent.

Other Republicans in recent days have falsely claimed the rioters weren’t armed and questioned whether people in the mob were really former President Trump’s supporters. One GOP lawmaker compared one image of the Capitol breach to a “normal tourist visit.”
These lies send the message to everyone there that day and to all the people who watched in on TV, that this threat to their lives was no big deal!

If you want to know what it is like to face death that changes your life...consider the event all of us witnessed. The January 6th attack on the US Capitol.

NBC NewsHallie Jackson sat down with Rep. Dan Kildee, who took that familiar photo of officers with their guns drawn in the House chamber, for an exclusive interview where he opens up about his mental health struggles since the Jan. 6 attack on the Capitol.
After The Attack, Slate, Christina Cauterucci wrote about what some of them went through that day and afterwards.
“It is hard to know who you can trust.” — Rep. Sara Jacobs
Rep. Grace Meng barricaded in a lounge at the Capitol on Jan. 6. Photo courtesy of Grace Meng
Eventually, the legislators got a text from staff members that the Capitol Police force was overwhelmed and wouldn’t be coming to save them. In that moment, Meng feared for her life. “Thank God we were fine afterward,” Frankel told me. “Physically fine—mentally, I don’t know,” she said with a laugh.
She’s also gotten calls from fellow members of Congress and their staffers, some of whom she barely knows, to check in on her after hearing what she’d gone through. “And I said, ‘I’m fine, I’m good now,’ ” Meng said. “And then they would just break down and cry, or they would just say to me, ‘I’m not OK.’ And some of these are grown men.”

Rep. Lois Frankel
For days after the ordeal, Frankel continued her work while battling extreme exhaustion, as her body and mind recovered from the stress of being trapped in a room with violent agitators outside. When we talked eight days after the attack, Frankel said it was the first day since the riot she hadn’t felt “totally wiped out.” Meng has noticed that she now feels “nervous” when she hears people she can’t see making loud noises outside the room she’s in. She’s also gotten calls from fellow members of Congress and their staffers, some of whom she barely knows, to check in on her after hearing what she’d gone through. “And I said, ‘I’m fine, I’m good now,’ ” Meng said. “And then they would just break down and cry, or they would just say to me, ‘I’m not OK.’ And some of these are grown men.”

Rep. Sara Jacobs
Jacobs had served in Congress all of three days before the insurrection. When the rioters breached the Capitol, she was in the House gallery—the balcony. The few dozen members of Congress and journalists who were up there with her were evacuated after those on the floor of the chamber, which meant a much closer brush with catastrophe. They were the ones photographed in those escape hoods and comforting one another while huddled on the ground. Some members were trapped in the gallery for 15 minutes or more, watching Capitol Police officers move furniture in front of the doors on the House floor, while other law enforcement officers outside the chamber struggled to clear a path through the rioters for their escape.

There are more but this is about Rep. Jason Crow, who was an Army Ranger.
On the Sunday after the riot, the congressional text chain moved to Zoom. Organized by Rep. Pramila Jayapal, D-Washington, members of Congress who had been in the gallery spent a couple of hours talking to one another and a trained counselor. Rep. Jason Crow, D-Colorado, a former Army Ranger who served three tours in Afghanistan and Iraq, was on the video chat. “What he has shared with all of us is that the surge of adrenaline that he had, and the fear that he faced—that we all experienced—was the same as combat,” Kuster said.

Since the siege, Crow has been vocal about this comparison. After a photo of him clutching the hand of Rep. Susan Wild, D-Pennsylvania, on the balcony floor made the rounds, Crow gave several interviews about going “into Ranger mode” in that moment of crisis. For Crow, that meant preparing for the possibility of having to fight off the rioters. He told me he double-checked the locks on the doors in the gallery and readied a pen as a makeshift weapon. He also considered asking one of the Capitol Police officers in the gallery to lend him a firearm—“You never know who’s capable of pulling the trigger until you’re put in that position … and I know that I am capable of doing that if necessary,” he said—but decided against it.

When he’s in Ranger mode, Crow said, “I just kind of box up my emotions and my feelings and put them aside.” But, eventually, those feelings come out. Crow says he’s been trying to harness the anger, anxiety, and fear prompted by the attack into action as Congress works to hold Donald Trump and his allies accountable for the attack. But the “hypervigilance” Crow remembers from his military service is back—even though it’s been 15 years since he felt it last. “I never thought the person I was then, and who I had to be as a combat leader, would ever come back and converge on my current life,” he said, noting that he’s had two children since leaving the Army. “But that is what happened. I had to tap back into that, and those two lives converged again.”
And now you know the message they are hearing from people they work with. Not only not worth investigating but not even worth their time to pay attention or care about their other members. It isn't just a matter of the threat still hanging over their heads, it is the approval of the GOP members who want to pretend it didn't happen for political reasons. 

I remember what it was like almost 40 years ago when I started working on PTSD and ended up having to deal with deluded individuals denying that PTSD was real. Nothing would get them open their eyes and see the truth. I often wonder how many people they ended up destroying in the process because of their ignorance. Lies make wounds deeper. 

When I hear elected officials lie about what happened, for political reasons, I am sickened because I know their lies cause more suffering. Not just to the other members, but to everyone in this entire country trying to recover from PTSD.

Without accountability and finding out exactly who was behind and involved in all of this, it can happen again. The thing that escapes most people is, the threat that the member of the House and Senate, know all too well it can, will prevent them from healing.

How do I know this? Because the threat to my life did not end in my life until my ex-husband died. There was no accountability for him. There was no closure for me until I got the obituary notice clipping from my cousin in the mail after I had moved over 1,300 miles and more than a decade after that.

For me, it was only one person. 

For members of the House and Senate, it was not just the people who invaded the Capitol seeking to harm and kill them. Oh no, it is now worse because other members they serve with are supporting what was done and attempting to dismiss it all as nothing to be addressed. The members of the Capitol Police Force are also dealing with that fact, knowing their lives don't matter enough for those they risk their lives for, do not even want to seek the truth for their sake.

If we do nothing but let it just happen to all of them, it will continue to cause more wounds. It is time for all of us to demand accountability and hold those who perpetrated this responsible.

To all the members of the House and Senate, their staffs, Capitol Police and workers, seek healing and know that most of the nation is behind you.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

We’re Not Gonna Take It
Twisted Sister

We're not gonna take it
Oh no, we ain't gonna take it
We're not gonna take it anymore
We've got the right to choose it
There ain't no way we'll lose it
This is our life, this is our song
We'll fight the powers that be just
Don't pick our destiny 'cause
You don't know us, you don't belong
We're not gonna take it
Oh no, we ain't gonna take it
We're not gonna take it anymore
Oh, you're so condescending
Your gall is never ending
We don't want nothin', not a thing from you
Your life is trite and jaded
Boring and confiscated
If that's your best, your best won't do
Sing it
We're right, yeah
We're free, yeah
We'll fight, yeah
You'll see
We're not gonna take it
No, we ain't gonna take it
We're not gonna take it anymore
We're not gonna take it
No, we ain't gonna take it
We're not gonna take it anymore
No way
Yeah
Sing it
We're right, yeah
We're free, yeah
We'll fight, yeah
You'll see
Sing it for me, Jersey
We're not gonna take it (come on)
No, we ain't gonna take it (louder)
We're not gonna take it anymore
We're not gonna take it
Oh no, we ain't gonna take it
We're not gonna take it anymore
Sing it, sing it, sing
We're not gonna take it (louder)
No, we ain't gonna take it
We're not gonna take it anymore
One more, one more, one more
We're not gonna take it (what)
No, we ain't gonna take it (yeah)
We're not gonna take it anymore
And don't you take it either

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Dee Snider
We’re Not Gonna Take It lyrics © Universal Tunes, Snidest Music Co.

Friday, May 21, 2021

Encourage healing #PTSD, not drinking

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 21, 2021

Did you know there is a difference between corruption and encouragement? Corruption is when you try to get someone to do something evil, wrong, bad for them or to go against what they believe. Encouragement is when you try to get someone to do something tat is good for them, something that will benefit them, especially when they want to give up.

If you have a friend dealing with PTSD, taking them out to a bar to drink their troubles away, is borderline corruption. Wanting them to get out of their isolation and off the couch, is a good thing but that is to where they should go to. Alcohol is a depressant and that is the last thing they need. It may make you feel more comfortable than taking them out for a cup of coffee and spend time with them that way, but this is supposed to be about them...not you.

More often than not, the person with PTSD survived something you may never understand and you may feel uncomfortable listing to them. It is way more uncomfortable if they lose their fight and end the battle by their own hands. Maybe they were the first or second person they called after it happened. You were there in the beginning but there before it. You know them. You'll be one of the first people to see the change in them but most of the time you don't know what it means. You won't until you spend time listening to them.

Do more listening than talking. Remember you are doing this for them. If you don't know what to say when they stop talking, then just put your arm on their shoulder, or nod your head. Don't look away from them or talk about something to fill up the quiet minutes. They may be struggling to find the right words or the courage to say what they need to.

This is why the featured video today is for King And Country, Fight On Fighter. Encouragement is a gift you give that can change a life for the better.
“Our chief want is someone who will inspire us to be what we know we could be.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson (Goodreads)


Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD 
Fight On, Fighter
for KING And COUNTRY

I was there on the day that you were changed
You were scared and prepared for the heartbreak
Everything you knew faded out of view
Stole a piece of you
If I could, oh, I would be a hero
Be the one who would take all the arrows
Save you from the pain, carry all the weight
But I know that you're brave
Fight on, fighter
Don't let anyone steal your fire
Fight on, fighter
The Spirit is alive inside ya, yeah
There's a part that you hold that you lock down
Let it breathe, give it wings, set it free now
Time to make ya walk, break the prison bars
Show them who you are
Fight on, fighter
Don't let anyone steal your fire
Fight on, fighter
The Spirit is alive inside ya, yeah
Stronger than you than you ever thought
I know you're stronger
Braver than you were before
You know you're braver
Oh, no, you don't have to be afraid
Together we'll face it
So don't ever stop no matter what
'Cause you're gonna make it
Fight on, fighter
Don't let anyone steal your fire
Fight on, fighter
The Spirit is alive inside ya, yeah
Fight on, fighter

Don't let anyone steal your fire
Fight on, fighter
The Spirit is alive inside ya, yeah

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Ben Backus / Ben Glover / Joel David Smallbone / Luke Smallbone / Mark Campbell / Tedd Tjornhom Fight On, Fighter lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc, Mike Curb Music 

Thursday, May 20, 2021

Miracles don't come from nowhere

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 20, 2021

When you pray for something, and your prayers are answered, do you actually understand that God did it? Do you know how God answers prayers? He doesn't just snap His fingers to deliver it. He tries to use other people to give what you ask for. When it is something you need to do on your own, He does it by guiding you to find what you need to. If your prayers are not being answered, you may end up blaming God, when it was not His fault.

Have you ever thought about someone all of a sudden and had an urge to call them? If you do, you discover they needed someone to talk to. You were used to answer their prayers. How many times have you shrugged off the urge and found out something horrible happened to them, and you wished you had followed through on making the call?

Miracles happen all the time but most of the time we don't acknowledge them. We don't understand how God uses regular people all the time because they were willing to listen to Him and act on it. Somehow we end up claiming the miracle came out of nowhere.

The fact you have PTSD because you survived whatever caused PTSD to hit you, is a miracle itself. I've had over 10 of them. To me, it wasn't just surviving it, it was also the people who came to help me after it happened. It was holding onto my faith and letting it help heal me. It was the people who studied trauma and wrote about it long before I even knew it existed, and helped me understand it.

Over all these years, I've saved a lot of lives that you will never know about. It isn't my job to tell their stories or share anything I've done. It is, and was, my job to learn, understand, and be there to help them heal too. 

They prayed for help. I prayed to be of help to them. They followed being guided to me and I responded, or they read what I was guided to write. Their prayers were answered and so were mine.

The fact you found this site is a miracle itself because when I started on my older site, there were not many people doing this work. Now it is crowded and they managed to use social media to promote their sites. 

While I admit I am a bit jealous of them, the goal was to change the outcome and help people heal. I could overcome that jealousy because they are reaching more people than I ever could.

I remember what it was like when I just started to learn about all of this in 1982. I was lost and felt all alone. We didn't have computers back then, so I had to go to the library to learn. When I finally discovered that I was not alone, it was a miracle to me. Still the people who wrote the books I learned from will never know how much they helped me or the others I helped over the years, or the others they helped.

Is God asking you to deliver a miracle or leading you to find what you are looking for?

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD 

Miracles Out Of Nowhere
Kansas

On a crystal morning I can see the dewdrops falling
Down from a gleaming heaven, I can hear the voices call
When you comin' home now, son, the world is not for you
Tell me what's your point of view
Hey there Mister Madman, what'cha know that I don't know
Tell me some crazy stories, let me know who runs this show
Glassy-eyed and laughing, he turns and walks away
Tell me what made you that way
Here I am just waiting for a sign
Asking questions, learning all the time
It's always here, it's always there
It's just love, and miracles out of nowhere
Tell me now dear mother, what's it like to be so old
Children grown and leavin', seems the world is growin' cold
And though your body's ailin' you
Your mind is just like new
Tell me where you're goin' to
Here I am just waiting for a sign
Asking questions, learning all the time
It's always here, it's always there
It's just love, and miralces out of nowhere
It's so simple right before your eyes
If you'll look through this disguise
It's always here, it's always there
It's just love and miracles out of nowhere
I sang this song a hundred, maybe a thousand years ago
No one ever listens, I just play and then I go
Off into the sunset like the western heroes do
Tell me what you're gonna do
Here I am, I'm sure to see a sign
All my life I knew that it was mine
It's always here, it's always there
It's just love and miracles out of nowhere

Flash Lyrics 

If you need to see them perform,,,,

Wednesday, May 19, 2021

The pep talk you need to give "you"

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 19, 2021

When I was young, I was a jock...and a klutz. Never a good combination but I loved to do several things. My favorite was swimming. I swam a mile a night, then worked at the YMCA as a lifeguard. I remember listening to a swim coach giving his pep talk to the opposing team.

He looked every single one of them in the eye and said things to them, they ended up telling themselves.
If you have someone telling you they believe in you, then you end up believing in yourself. Isn't it time for you to start doing it because you do believe you can?

Tell yourself you can heal PTSD and then you'll find a way to do it. There is an abundance of resources online for you to find and in your own community. 

Listen to the video for today and then listen to the featured video by Des'ree You Got To Be.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

You Gotta Be
Des'ree 

Listen as your day unfolds
Challenge what the future holds
Try and keep your head up to the sky
Lovers, they may cause you tears
Go ahead, release your fears
Stand up and be counted
Don't be ashamed to cry
You gotta be
You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser
You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta stay together
All I know, all I know, love will save the day
Herald what your mother said
Read the books your father read
Try to solve the puzzles in your own sweet time
Some may have more cash than you
Others take a different view
My oh my, eh, eh, eh
You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser
You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta stay together
All I know, all I know, love will save the day
Time asks no questions, it goes on without you
Leaving you behind if you can't stand the pace
The world keeps on spinning
Can't stop it if you tried to
The best part is danger staring you in the face, oh
Remember, listen as your day unfolds
Challenge what the future holds
Try and keep your head up to the sky
Lovers, they may cause you tears
Go ahead release your fears
My oh my, eh, eh, eh
You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser
You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta stay together
All I know, all I know, love will save the day
Yeah, yeah, yeah
You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser
You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta stay together
All I know, all I know, love will save the day
Yeah-yeah
Got to be bold
Got to be bad
Got to be wise
Do what others say
Got to be hard
Not too too hard
All I know is love will save the day
You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser
You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta stay together

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Des'ree Weekes / Ashley Ingram
You Gotta Be lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd. 

Tuesday, May 18, 2021

we will get by we will survive

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 18, 2021

This morning I had a tune in my head and just a few words of a song, "we will get by we will survive."
At first I thought it was the name of the song. Apparently, a lot of people must have thought the same thing beause when I used Google to search for it, it had a differnt name. Touch Of Grey by Grateful Dead came up.

I didn't remember who sang it, but I rememberd how that song made me feel. I didn't remember the lyrics, other than that simple message about surviving, but I remember how it changed my frame of mind.

We tend to do that as simple humans. We may not remember who gave us hope when we needed it, but we remember how it felt to feel it again. We may not remember what someone said that changed our day, but the next time we see that person, we smile. We may not even remember how many people came to help us survive what caused PTSD, but we sure do remember what it was like when help showed up when we needed it the most.

When you watch the video, there is a something in it that reminded me of what it can be like living with PTSD. Without giving the video away, during their concert, they change from being one way, into another, and then back to the way they were before. Having PTSD can be like that too. You go from life as you knew it, to changing and maybe feeling like you're not totally alive. Maybe you need to hide your pain? But when you heal, you go back to enjoying life again. Much like the crowd enjoyed seeing their faces.

You can deliver a message of doom and gloom to others or you can give them one of "we will get by...we will survive" and then help them get there. My bet is you'll take the second option because you not only remember how they felt, you also remember what it was like to find hope and heal!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD 

Touch of Grey
Grateful Dead

Must be getting early clocks are running late
Faint light of the morning sky looks so phony
Dawn is breaking everywhere
Light a candle curse the glare
Draw the curtains I don't care 'cause it's alright
I will get by I will get by
I will get by I will survive
I see you've got your fist out say your piece and get out
Yes I get the gist of it but it's alright
Sorry that you feel that way the only there is to say
Every silver lining's got a touch of grey
I will get by I will get by I will get by I will survive
It's a lesson to me the eagles and the beggars and the seas
The ABC's we all must face try to keep a little grace
It's a lesson to me the deltas and the east and the freeze
The ABC's we all think of and try to win a little love
I know the rent is in arrears the dog has not been fed in years
It's even worse than it appears but it's alright
Cow's giving kerosene, kid can't read at seventeen
The words he knows are all obscene but it's alright
I will get by I will get by I will get by I will survive
The shoe is on the hand that fits, there's really nothing much to it
Whistle through your teeth and spit 'cause it's alright
Oh well a touch of grey kinda suits you anyway
And that was all I had to say and it's alright
I will get by I will get by I will get by I will survive
We will get by we will get by we will get by we will survive
We will get by we will get by we will get by we will survive

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Jerome J. Garcia / Robert C. Christie Hunter
Touch of Grey lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group, Warner Chappell Music, Inc 

Monday, May 17, 2021

"It's like a different way of living now"

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 17, 2021

"Can't you feel a brand new day?" That is how it feels to heal. A brand new day! Today the featured video is from the WIZ, A Brand New Day with Diana Ross.  When you survived whatever caused PTSD to hit you, you had a brand new day, but maybe it wasn't a happy one. I know it wasn't for me because I had a lot of things I had to deal with afterwards. Mostly, I was questioning why I survived. The thing is, I did heal and rejoiced when that better brand new day came. So can you.

In the end of this video, the factory workers are taking off their masks. It is time for you to do it too. If you feel as if you have had to hide what is going on inside of you, there is no need to cover it up anymore. It is time to find the help you need to heal because happiness is there for you to find.

You won't find it waiting for Dorothy or the Fairy Godmother to show up. You can't click your heals and end up there. You have to go looking for it and then you can have a whole new brand new day when you are happier!
 
Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD 
A Brand New Day
Diana Ross
From The Wiz 

Everybody look around
'Cause there's a reason to rejoice you see
Everybody come out
And let's commence to singing joyfully
Everybody look up
And feel the hope that we've been waiting for
Everybody's glad
Because our silent fear and dread is gone
Freedom, you see, has got our hearts singing so joyfully
Just look about
You owe it to yourself to check it out
Can't you feel a brand new day?
Can't you feel a brand new day?
Can't you feel a brand new day?
Can't you feel a brand new day?
Everybody be glad
Because the sun is shining just for us
Everybody wake up
Into the morning into happiness
Hello world
It's like a different way of living now
And thank you world
We always knew that we'd be free somehow
In harmony
And show the world that we've got liberty
It's such a change
For us to live so independently
Freedom, you see, has got our hearts singing so joyfully
Just look about
You owe it to yourself to check it out
Can't you feel a brand new day?
Can't you feel a brand new day?
Everybody be glad
Because the sun is shining just for us
Everybody wake up
Into the morning into happiness
Hello world
It's like a different way of living now
And thank you world
We always knew that we'd be free somehow
In harmony
And show the world that we've got liberty
It's such a change
For us to live so independently
Freedom, you see, has got our hearts singing so joyfully
Just look about
You owe it to yourself to check it out
Can't you feel a brand new day?
Can't you feel a brand new day?
Can't you feel a brand new day?
Can't you feel a brand new day?

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Luther R. Vandross
A Brand New Day lyrics © Wb Music Corp. 

Saturday, May 15, 2021

I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 15, 2021

Imagine needing help to heal PTSD. You ask a friend a friend if they know how to get there. They tell you that road doesn't exist. They looked for it but never found it. Then you decide that you'll go looking for it. After a while you see a traffic sign that tells you exactly where that road is. You'll be happy to see it but then you realize you never would have found it, if you hadn't looked for it. 

You could end up being pissed off at your friend, or, you could go back and let them know where it is so they could find it too. Would you be ashamed of them for needing help? Nope! Then what is stopping you from looking for the help you need? Isn't it time you saw the sign and tell your friend it opened up your eyes too?

Today's featured video is Ace Of Base, The Sign!

Remember, it is your life...get and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

The Sign
Ace of Base

Shock!
I, I got a new life
You would hardly recognize me
I'm so glad
How can a person like me care for you?
(Ah) Why do I bother
When you're not the one for me
Is enough enough?
I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes
I saw the sign
Life is demanding without understanding
I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes
I saw the sign
No one's gonna drag you up
To get into the light where you belong
But where do you belong?
Under the pale moon
For so many years I've wondered who you are
How could a person like you bring me joy
Under the pale moon
Where I see a lot of stars
Is enough enough?
I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes
I saw the sign
Life is demanding without understanding
I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes
I saw the sign
No one's gonna drag you up
To get into the light where you belong
But where do you belong?
Oh, oh, oh, oh
I saw the sign and it opened up my mind
And I am happy now
Living without you
I've left you, oh oh oh
I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes
I saw the sign
No one's gonna drag you up
To get into the light where you belong
I saw the sign, I saw the sign
I saw the sign
I saw the sign, I saw the sign
I saw the sign, I saw the sign
I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes
I saw the sign

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Jenny Berggren / Malin Berggren / Jonas Berggren / Ulf Ekberg
The Sign lyrics © Megasong Publishing 

Thursday, May 13, 2021

You have a reason to fight the demon

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 13, 2021

I used the song by Disturbed, A Reason To Fight, not too long ago. I saw this video when I was putting up today's video for PTSD Patrol. It is too powerful and when I watched it, I knew it couldn't wait for another day. Someone needs to see it today and I hope it helps! For everyone else, just consider this a bonus video for the day.
Disturbed understands what that pain is like.
A Reason to Fight
Disturbed

The image in your eyes
Reflecting the pain that has taken you
I hear it in your voice, so ridden with shame
From what's hailing you
I won't give up so don't give in
You've fallen down but you can rise again
So don't give up
When the demon that's inside you is ready to begin
And it feels like it's a battle that you will never win
When you're aching for the fire and begging for your sin
When there's nothing left inside, there's still a reason to fight
Lost in your world of lies
I find it so hard to believe in you
Can it be real this time?
Or just a part of this game that we're playing through
I won't give up so don't give in
You've fallen down but you will rise again
I won't give up
When the demon that's inside you is ready to begin
And it feels like it's a battle that you will never win
When you're aching for the fire and begging for your sin
When there's nothing left inside, there's still a reason to fight
Don't let it take your soul
Look at me take control
When knowing to fight this war
This is nothing worth dying for
Are you ready to begin?
This is a battle that we are gonna win
When you're aching for the fire and begging for your sin
When there's nothing left inside, there's still a reason
When the demon that's inside you is ready to begin
And it feels like it's a battle that you will never win
When you're aching for the fire and begging for your sin
When there's nothing left inside, there's still a reason to fight
I'll be your reason to fight
Give you a reason to fight

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Dan J Donegan / David Michael Draiman / Kevin Gregory Churko / Michael Wengren
A Reason to Fight lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd. 

Stop running on empty and start healing!

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 13, 2021

This morning I had to go out but only had a quarter of a tank of gas. After hearing about all the gas shortages, long lines if a station had gas, I admit, I was worried. I live in New Hampshire and discovered that no station was out of fuel and there were no lines. Such a relief! Well that got me thinking about Jackson Browne Running On Empty.

"I don't know when that road turned into the road I'm on"


If that applies to you, then you may be "running on empty" wondering how the hell you ended up where you are. You could have been driving your life in circles, trying to get away from what has been following you. Or maybe you've just been trying to run away from yourself?

Consider this about a female veteran who lived for decades with PTSD, but did not know what it was.
Though she lived with the symptoms of PTSD, it was a long time before Bennett was formally diagnosed.

“Every year on the anniversary [of my trauma], on Aug. 24 and 25, I was on the phone with my friend who went through it with me. Every year. It was like I was stuck,” said Bennett. “I went through a lot of emotional trauma and guilt and everything. I had a lot of tears. I did a lot of crazy things. It changed me drastically in a lot of ways that weren’t good.”

Bennett sought help through DAV. It was then, 40 years after her assault, that she started therapy for PTSD and military sexual trauma (MST). “It wasn’t until [my DAV Service Officer] told me he’d seen in some of my records that there were some things that made him concerned. And he thought that maybe I should be checked out for PTSD.

“I went through a lot [with my family]; they disowned me. It really hurt; it broke my heart,” she added. “But now, I’m thinking my PTSD played a huge part in the way they acted toward me. I think the PTSD played a big role in my life.”

In 2010, Bennett was awarded 100-percent service connection for PTSD based on the trauma she endured in 1968. It took 42 years of quietly suffering before someone finally recognized her disability. Stories like hers are why the VA is making a huge push for additional research and studies into what Vietnam-era women veterans really endured. (Disabled American Veterans)
If you have PTSD, the road you got on was caused by the event you survived. She lost everything before she found out why she was suffering. "Running On Empty" and then she filled up with hope that her life could get better. She finally understood that what happened to her, followed by what happened afterwards, caused everything she was suffering from...and yes, she also experienced more troubling times with the anniversary date of when it started.

Ready to stop running on empty and fill up?

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Running On Empty
Jackson Browne

Looking out at the road rushing under my wheels
Looking back at the years gone by like so many summer fields
'65, I was 17 and running up 101
I don't know where I'm running now, I'm just running on
Running on (running on empty)
Running on (running blind)
Running on (running into the sun)
But I'm running behind
Gotta do what you can just to keep your love alive
Trying not to confuse it, with what you do to survive
'69, I was 21 and I called the road my own
I don't know when that road turned into the road I'm on
Running on (running on empty)
Running on (running blind)
Running on (running into the sun)
But I'm running behind
Everyone I know, everywhere I go
People need some reason to believe
I don't know about anyone, but me
If it takes all night, that'll be all right
If I can get you to smile before I leave
Looking out at the road rushing under my wheels
I don't know how to tell you all just how crazy this life feels
Look around for the friends that I used to turn to to pull me through
Looking into their eyes, I see them running too
Running on (running on empty)
Running on (running blind)
Running on (running into the sun)
But I'm running behind
Honey, you really tempt me
You know the way you look so kind
I'd love to stick around, but I'm running behind
(Running on) You know I don't even know what I'm hoping to find
(Running blind) Running into the sun, but I'm running behind

Thank you

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Browne Jackson
Running On Empty lyrics © Swallow Turn Music

Wednesday, May 12, 2021

Don't hate...learn

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 12, 2021

It is always easier to focus on what is bad, when there is too much that is bad. The thing is, if that is all you focus on you miss that majority of what is good. The majority of the people are good, caring people but you won't see them until you open your eyes. It is the same when you are looking at your own life. Some of it can be bad, sad, heartbreaking and you can have plenty of reasons to feeling hopeless....if that is all you focus on. What about the things that are good, happy, positive, and give you plenty of reasons to be happier?


Today I started to add subtitles. This means less to read here, but you can read the subtitles if you want. Let me know what you think. I hope it helps when I talk too fast.


Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD.


Everyday People
Sly and The Family Stone

Sometimes I'm right and I can be wrong
My own beliefs are in my song
The butcher, the banker, the drummer and then
Makes no difference what group I'm in
I am everyday people, yeah yeah
There is a blue one who can't accept
The green one for living with
A fat one tryin' to be a skinny one
Different strokes for different folks
And so on and so on and scooby dooby dooby
Ooh sha sha
We got to live together
I am no better and neither are you
We're all the same whatever we do
You love me you hate me
You know me and then
You can't figure out the bag I'm in
I am everyday people
There is a long hair
That doesn't like the short hair
For being such a rich one
That will not help the poor one
Different strokes for different folks
And so on and so on scooby dooby dooby
Ooh sha sha
We got to live together
There is a yellow one that won't
Accept the black one
That won't accept the red one
That won't accept the white one
Different strokes for different folks
And so on and so on and
Scooby dooby dooby
Ooh sha sha
I am everyday people

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Sylvester Stewart
Everyday People lyrics © Mijac Music 

Playing For Change

"Can you imagine how I feel today?"

PTSD Patrol Kathie Costos June 15, 2021 "Can you imagine how I feel today?" is a question no one would have to ask if they talk...

PTSD Patrol

PTSD Patrol
It is your life, get in and drive it