Showing posts with label betrayal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label betrayal. Show all posts

Thursday, February 11, 2021

If you want to live a happy life...

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 11, 2021 

There are so many things people are missing because of the pandemic. New parents are sad because they did not get to celebrate the birth of their babies the way they thought it would always be like. They thought they'd be surrounded by family and friends sharing their joy with them, but face isolation, depending on social media to connect them from a distance. The same is being done for other events, like birthdays, anniversaries, weddings and yes, even funerals.

For others, who in their normal lives, they were sociable, and thrived interacting with others face to face. They looked forward to being active in the groups that fed their souls, and now they have to rely on someone deciding to do a Zoom meeting, instead of being able to hug someone.  (I'm a hugger and it sucks.)

For others, they reach out on social media, knowing with so many people listed among their "friends" they are sure to have many people reaching back to comfort them. They share, get some responses from a few, then wonder why they have so many they are sharing their lives with online, only to discover, they were not really their friends.


The years rolled slowly past
And I found myself alone
Surrounded by strangers I thought were my friends
I found myself further and further from my home, and I
Guess I lost my way
There were oh-so-many roads
I was living to run and running to live
Never worried about paying or even how much I owed
Moving eight miles a minute for months at a time
Breaking all of the rules that would bend
I began to find myself searching
Searching for shelter again and again 

When you realize you were surrounded by people you only thought were your friends, it hurts. You think about all the time you spent with them, and enjoyed their company because you thought they cared about you. But when you needed them to show you how much they did care, they walked away from you.

It happened more times than I can count, while it is easy to count on the few friends I do have, because I can always count on them. Those are the friends I try to think about so I can forget the ones who turned out to be nothing more than people I knew.

I got tired of trying to figure out what I did wrong when I was used, betrayed and ignored. I got tired of beating myself up for telling the truth because some of them needed hear it and they attacked me because they didn't want to hear it. It was hard, but I got over it because I got over them.

I take comfort in knowing that I did the right things for the right reasons and do not regret what I did for them. Doing the right thing has never been wrong, even though other people mistreat you for doing it. I know I can rest well at night knowing it was their problem, instead of going against my core beliefs of what was the right thing to do. And I hold my head up high.

That is why the featured video today is Argent, Hold Your Head Up. I can take what comes into my life because of the things I do with my life.

I spent almost 4 decades trying to help people, fellow survivors of trauma heal. I never figured out how to get financial support to keep doing it, even though I asked for help over and over again, but no one found it valuable enough to support, but those who gained popularity ended up getting their financial support instead of me, when they knew me personally. 

I prayed that God would send someone to help me. Many people came into my life and I trusted that was how God answered my prayers. Soon they proved that they may have been sent by God to help me, but they ended up only interested in helping themselves.

Through all of it, all the heartache and self-doubt, feeling like I failed and deserved to be treated this way for a time, the truth kept me going and I held my head up high. While some measure success by how popular you are, how much money you have or how many followers you have on social media, I measure it a different way.

"If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things." Albert Einstein
If you have PTSD, the goal should be healing so you can live a happier life. If you live with someone with PTSD, the goal should be to help them be happier, so you can be too. The rest will come one day because you put the priority on possibilities. Then you can measure success by sharing more joys and many more years together.

I measure it by lives I've saved. To know that I made a difference to them. To know how I treated others better than they treated me. I measure it by knowing that no matter how many roadblocks are put in front of me, there are thousands of others behind me I managed to get over. You can too!

If you want to share your joy, then be joyful of what you have to share with those you can. If you want to find support for what you are lacking, then accept the support you do receive as a blessing. Measure your life by what you give and not by what you get back.

These are difficult times where lies and liars no longer have any shame in them. Family members betray others because they like the lies they hear. They will awaken to the reality that others were telling them the truth all along and some will feel ashamed. If they ask for forgiveness, then forgive them. All the harm they did to you will no longer have power over your life or a place in your soul where love lives.

Hold your head up to get through the trying times and know that better days are coming...

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD


Hold Your Head Up
Argent 

And if it's there
Don't let it get you down,
You can take it.
And if it hurts
Don't let them see you cry,
You can make it.
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head high.
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head high.
And if they stare
Just let them burn their eyes
On you moving.
And if they shout
Don't let it change a thing
That you're doing.
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head high.
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head high.
Hold your head up
Hold your head up
Hold your head up
Hold your head up
Hold your head up
Hold your head up
Hold your head up
Hold your head up
Hold your head up
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head high.
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head high.
And if they stare
Just let them burn their eyes
On you moving.
And if they shout
Don't let it change a thing
That you're doing.
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head up, oh

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Bouwens 

Wednesday, January 27, 2021

Surviving it when there is betrayal involved

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 27,2021

Today is not one of those chair dancing days. News came out that another of the DC Capitol Police Officers has taken their own life. That is two gone to suicide and another died after being beaten.
CNN Acting Metropolitan Police Chief Robert J. Contee told the House Appropriations Committee on Tuesday that two police officers have died by suicide since responding to the riot at the Capitol on January 6, according to Contee's opening statement before the committee, which was obtained by CNN. 
This is the first time the force has confirmed that two officers took their own lives after the attack.

"Tragically, two officers who were at the Capitol on January 6th, one each from the Capitol Police and MPD, took their own lives in the aftermath of that battle," Contee said in his statement.
Surviving trauma can suck for a while. Surviving it when there is betrayal involved is even worse. Trust in others has been lost. If the survivor needs to talk, which is vital to healing, they do not know who to trust. 

If you know someone who seems to be hurting, let them know you are there for them...the shut up and listen to them. Give them whatever time they need while paying attention to them...and only them. Do not try to fix them by doing anything other than helping them know you are there for them.

I know this in my own life because all the times I survived, I had people I could talk to. They listened until I was done talking...and often it was days or weeks later. They were my family and knew nothing about psychology. I was able to feel safe and start to deal with it. 

They gave lousy advice, but just be prepared for that, because all you need to know from them is, you matter to them. Trust will return but it will take time.

When I needed more help than they could give, I saw a therapist and it helped too!

Remember, it is your life...get in a drive it and if you know someone who needs help...get in and drive it to them!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD
Because of the two officers who died by suicide, this is for them.

Sarah McLachlan New "Angel" Video and PSA



The Pretenders - I'll Stand By You

Oh, why you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don't be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
'Cause I've seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you
You don't know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
So if you're mad, get mad
Don't hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
Hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
Well I'm a lot like you
When you're standing at the crossroads
And don't know which path to choose
Let me come along
'Cause even if you're wrong
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
And when
When the night falls on you, baby
You're feeling all alone
You won't be on your own
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Thomas Kelly / Christine Hynde / Billy Steinberg
I'll Stand by You lyrics © BMG Rights Management 

the most powerful word is FREEWILL

PTSD Patrol Kathie Costos March 7, 2021 Everyone seems to think that "freedom" is the most powerful word. They are wrong becaus...

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PTSD Patrol
It is your life, get in and drive it