Showing posts with label empowerment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label empowerment. Show all posts

Saturday, March 13, 2021

Glorious Victorious

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 13, 2021

What does it feel like since you survived whatever caused PTSD in you? Does it feel as if hope is being sucked right out of you? That you are surrounded by misery and suffering? Are you wondering why the hell you got up out of bed this morning? Or does it feel like you are just sucking up all the hope you can find to live like a survivor?

Isn't it time that you decided that a happier life is so much better than a sucky one?

You are the only one who can decide for yourself. No one else has the power to control what you are willing to do with the rest of your life. Everything you need to heal is already inside of you. All the qualities you had are still there. All the things that made you smile, feel joy and happiness are still there.

That is why there are two featured videos today. Glorious by Macklemore and One Little Victory by Rush. You can discover how glorious it is to be victorious. After all, that is exactly what you are. You are victorious over whatever caused PTSD. You walked away. It did not destroy you. Why let it destroy you now?

Make the choice to heal and be happy with the rest of your life. Learn what PTSD is and what it is doing so you can also learn how much power you do have over it.


Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD 

GLORIOUS
MACKLEMORE FEAT SKYLAR GREY
(OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO)

You know I'm back like I never left
Another sprint, another step
Another day, another breath
Been chasing dreams, but I never slept
I got a new attitude and a lease on life
And some peace of mind
Seek and I find I can sleep when I die
Wanna piece of the pie, grab the keys to the ride
And shit I'm straight
I'm on my wave, I'm on my wave
Get out my wake, I'm running late, what can I say?
I heard you die twice, once when they bury you in the grave
And the second time is the last time that somebody mentions your name
So when I leave here on this earth, did I take more than I gave?
Did I look out for the people or did I do it all for fame?
Legend it's exodus searching for euphoria
Trudging through the mud to find the present, no ignoring us
Got 20, 000 deep off in the street like we some warriors
My mama told me never bow your head, woo!
I feel glorious, glorious
Got a chance to start again
I was born for this, born for this
It's who I am, how could I forget?
I made it through the darkest part of the night
And now I see the sunrise
Now I feel glorious, glorious
I feel glorious, glorious
I'm feeling glorious
The crib looking Victorian (oh yes it is)
You know that we been going in
Since we hopped out that Delorean (Delorean, yeah we win)
En garde, things are just things
They don't make you who you are
Can't pack up a U-Haul and take it with you when you're gone
We posted on the porch, my family's glasses to the stars
My grandma smiling down on me like woo, that boy got bars
Okay, okay, yes I do
I said amen and hallelujah, let me testify too
Another morning, a morning, don't let self get in my way
I got my breath, I got my faith and I remember why I came
I feel glorious, glorious
Got a chance to start again
I was born for this, born for this
It's who I am, how could I forget?
I made it through the darkest part of the night
And now I see the sunrise
Now I feel glorious, glorious
I feel glorious, glorious
We gon' be alright, put that on my life
When I open my eyes, hope I see you shine
We're planting a flag they don't understand
The world is up for grabs
We gon' be alright, put that on my life
When I open my eyes, hope I see you shine
We're planting a flag they don't understand
The world is up for grabs
I feel glorious, glorious
Got a chance to start again
I was born for this, born for this
It's who I am, how could I forget?
I made it through the darkest part of the night
And now I see the sunrise
Now I feel glorious, glorious
I feel glorious, glorious

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Kelly Claude / Guetta David / Tuinfort Giorgio H / Hafermann Holly B Glorious lyrics © Sony/atv Songs Llc, What A Publishing Limited, What A Publishing Ltd, Hipgnosis Songs Fund Limited


One Little Victory
Rush 

A certain measure of innocence
Willing to appear naive
A certain degree of imagination
A measure of make-believe
A certain degree of surrender
To the forces of light and heat
A shot of satisfaction
In a willingness to risk defeat
Celebrate the moment
As it turns into one more
Another chance at victory
Another chance to score
The measure of the moment
In a difference of degree
Just one little victory
A spirit breaking free
One little victory
The greatest act can be
One little victory
A certain measure of righteousness
A certain amount of force
A certain degree of determination
Daring on a different course
A certain amount of resistance
To the forces of the light and love
A certain measure of tolerance
A willingness to rise above
One little victory
One little victory
One little victory
One little victory
Celebrate the moment
As it turns into one more
Another chance at victory
Another chance to score
The measure of the moment
In a difference of degree
Just one little victory
A spirit breaking free
The greatest act can be
One little victory
The greatest act can be
One little victory
One little victory
One little victory
One little victory
One little victory
Just one little victory
Just one little victory
One little victory
One little victory

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Lee / Peart / Lifeson
One Little Victory lyrics © Ole Core Music Publishing, Anthem Core Music Publishing 
#gloriousvictorious

Wednesday, March 10, 2021

find out how to #TakeBackYourLife from it

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 10, 2021

"Darling, somebody still loves you!" Isn't that such a nice thing to hear? If you have been abandoned by everyone you knew, knowing that, can make all the difference in your life. That is what you can find in a PTSD support group. You can find a professional who also cares about you by seeking out a trauma specialist.  PTSD is not the same as other illnesses because this one was caused by an outside force that hit you. When you read about PTSD from the MAYO Clinic, you can see how complicated it can be, but you can also find out how to #TakeBackYourLife from it.

Today the featured video is James Taylor, Her Town Too. It is about how people can be cruel and gossip about things they know nothing about. That happens all the time, but it happens a lot more when people change due to PTSD. It is hard for people to understand what it is like unless they are a survivor too. The thing is, you cannot control them. All you can do is stop them from hurting you even more. Shut them out of your life. The only power they have over you is what you allow them to have.

The best revenge is to heal and be happier! They'll notice the change in you and then it will be more about how happy you seem to be, how great you look and how they want to know how you did it...so they can change their own miserable outlook on life.

You get that from support groups, where someone cares about you and helps you up instead of making fun of the fact you fell apart. Where people will not just be glad to see the change in you, but grateful they had a chance to help you become happier. Then you can help pick others up too and be thrilled you helped change someone's life because you knew what they felt like...when it was your life too.

Somebody still love you!
Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD


Her Town Too
James Taylor 

She's been afraid to go out
She's afraid of the knock on her door
There's always a shade of a doubt
She can never be sure
Who comes to call
Maybe the friend of a friend of a friend
Anyone at all
Anything but nothing again
It used to be her town
It used to be her town, too
It used to be her town
It used to be her town, too
Seems like even her old girlfriends
Might be talking her down
She's got her name on the grapevine
Running up and down
The telephone line
Talking 'bout
Someone said, someone said
Something 'bout, something else
Someone might have said about her
She always figured that they were her friends
But maybe they can live without her
It used to be her town
It used to be her town, too
It used to be her town
It used to be her town, too
Well, people got used to seeing them both together
But now he's gone and life goes on
Nothing lasts forever, oh no
She gets the house and the garden
He gets the boys in the band
Some of them his friends
Some of them her friends
Some of them understand
Lord knows that this is just a small town city
Yes, and everyone can see you fall
It's got nothing to do with pity
I just wanted to give you a call
It used to be your town
It used to be my town, too
You never know 'till it all falls down
Somebody loves you
Somebody loves you
Darling, somebody still loves you
I can still remember
When it used to be her town, too
It used to be your town
It used to be my town, too

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: John David Souther / James Vernon Taylor / Waddy Wachtell
Her Town Too lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC 

Tuesday, March 9, 2021

healing with a smile on your face

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 9, 2021

What is life like when you are healing? BEAUTIFUL! If you know anything about me, you know there are a lot of things that really should make my life suck...but it doesn't. I am usually happy, no matter what crap comes my way. 

For example, today I should have gotten up out of bed in a very bad mood. I fell asleep later than normal and woke up earlier than normal. I was tired but in a good mood. I did my usual stuff, got online and shared some things that were uplifting because when I saw them, they made me feel good inside. I hoped they would make my friends feel better since most of them are going through hard times too.

If you have peace, you are half way there to happiness. If you've already arrived at happiness, then that does not mean you'll always be cheerful but it will take a hell of a lot to get you angry. It also means, you'll get over it faster than you did before.

It is an odd thing when you survived your life being on the line, how deal with stress changes after you start healing. It is almost as if you have a whole new level of what you consider important and what you find not worth getting your blood pressure up for. Don't get me wrong, because I am always confessing that I have a bad temper but have learned to control it. It is a lot of work, but I am happier without exploding.

You've got to get up every morning
With a smile in your face
And show the world all the love in your heart
Then people gonna treat you better
You're gonna find, yes you will
That you're beautiful, as you feel

That is why today the featured video is Carole King, Beautiful! I like being happy and I like helping others to feel better about their day too. Most of the time they appreciate it. Sometimes there are cranky people who love being miserable and making everyone else miserable too. Don't let them get you down because while you feel better helping others feel good, they only feel better about making others feel worse.


Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it~
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Beautiful
Carole King 

You've got to get up every morning
With a smile in your face
And show the world all the love in your heart
Then people gonna treat you better
You're gonna find, yes you will
That you're beautiful, as you feel
Waiting at the station with a workday wind a-blowing
I've got nothing to do but watch the passers-by
Mirrored in their faces I see frustration growing
And they don't see it showing, why do I?
You've got to get up every morning
With a smile in your face
And show the world all the love in your heart
Then people gonna treat you better
You're gonna find, yes you will
That you're beautiful as you feel
I have often asked myself the reason for sadness
In a world where tears are just a lullaby
If there's any answer, maybe love can end the madness
Maybe not, oh, but we can only try
You've got to get up every morning
With a smile in your face
And show the world all the love in your heart
Then people gonna treat you better
You're gonna find, yes you will
That you're beautiful
You're beautiful
You're beautiful as you feel

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Carole King
Beautiful lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC 

Monday, March 8, 2021

rethink fighting PTSD alone

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 8, 2021 

If you are trying to get through what PTSD is doing to you alone, then consider this.

In the military, they are called Battle Buddy.
If hundreds of soldiers were talked out of that darkness because their squadmate became their best friend, I’ll forever argue its merit, no matter how goofy it sounds calling another grown-ass warfighter my “battle buddy.”
5 reasons why the battle buddy system was secretly brilliant, We Are The Mighty, Eric Milzarski

With the Department of Veterans Affairs, they are called Peer Support.
“When I began peer support, I was quiet, withdrawn, extremely habitual,” she recalled. “I wasn’t engaged in the community. But they told me someone is in there and we are going to give you the skills to bring her back.
“The beautiful thing about peer support is that there is no pressure. They allowed me to play the game, using old habits to mask and cope. It allowed me to know other Veterans are struggling. Peer support allowed me to put that on a shelf and be a human being again.”
Peer support specialists help Veterans in crisis VAntage Point, Coast Guard Veteran Lavinia Jackson
If you join any support group, someone is there for you. If not then you may call them your friend, spouse, family member, or anyone else who is there for you to turn to.

Why would you ever think you should fight this on your own? So many found strength leaning on someone when they needed it, then being there when someone else did!
Alcoholics Anonymous, gives people a sponsor. Support groups all have someone there to help others. This is all there because it works. If you are a veteran and you get arrested, most states have Veterans Courts, where someone is assigned to help you get what you need to have another chance to recover. Some prisons have units where they put veterans all in together because it is understood that most of the time, the trouble started with putting their lives on the line and they have support with them. 

This is why the featured video today is Melissa Manchester, Just You And I!

Now if you think you should still fight to heal PTSD alone, you might way to rethink that one because it is probably not working for you.  Time to find out what will!
Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from PTSD

Just You And I
Melissa Manchester 

When your heroes go up in a puff,
And there's not enough to hang on to
And the ones you would count on to call
They all fall down all around you
Then you've got to believe there's more
It is the reason we're put here for
It's just you and I
When the legend's over - and we have just begun
We can look to each other to see us through
Just you and I
When a miracle's long overdue
And there's no one who's gonna come to guide you
So you keep looking up to the sky - wondering why
The clouds won't hide you
At the times when you're most afraid
That is the reason why dreams are made
It's just you and I
When the legend's over - and we have just begun
We can look to each other to see us through
Just you and I

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Carole Bayer Sager / Melissa Manchester / Melissa Toni Manchester
Just You and I lyrics © BMG Rights Management, Carlin America Inc 

A newly reimagined recording of Melissa’s early hit, “Just You And I”
Melissa Manchester’s latest single, a newly reimagined recording of her early hit, “JUST YOU AND I” is a Labor Day Week tribute to the essential workers and first responders who are getting us all through the coronavirus crisis. The Grammy Award winning singer/songwriter is joined by legendary saxophonist Gerald Albright and the young artists from Citrus College in this updated version of the 1976 Billboard charted classic.

September 8th, 2020 

One of my old videos from 2006....

Sunday, March 7, 2021

the most powerful word is FREEWILL

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 7, 2021

Everyone seems to think that "freedom" is the most powerful word. They are wrong because the most powerful word is FREEWILL. That is what God gave all of us. If even He did not get involved in trying to control it, we shouldn't think we have the power to control it in others. We are all free to make our own choices, believe what we want to believe and do what we want to do according to our own freewill.

Most of the time, PTSD is caused by what someone did. We had no control over them but ended up paying a price for what they did. Sometimes there were legal consequences for them but other times, they got away with it. At least we think they did. The truth is, we never know how what they did affected them. That is not our problem.

We are responsible for what we choose to do afterwards. After my ex-husband tried to kill me, he stalked me for a long time. As a survivor, it was up to me do decide how to live. I chose to fight back. I chose to not allow him to destroy the rest of my life. I also chose to let the rest of my life mean something. I chose to let my "soul shine" and be a better person.


There is power in that choice. That power came from my soul and gave me peace. 

No one has the power to control anything anyone else does but we do have the power to make our own choices and there is nothing more powerful than that. Use your power to be the best person you can be and let your soul shine. That is why today the featured video is Allman Brothers Soulshine.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD


Soulshine
Allman Brothers Band


When you can't find the light
That guides you through a cloudy day
When the stars ain't shinin bright
And you feel like you've lost you're way
When the candle lights of home
Burn so very far away
Well you got to let your soul shine
Just like my daddy used to say
He used to say soul shine
It's better than sunshine
It's better than moonshine
Damn sure better than rain
Hey now people don't mind
We all get this way sometimes
Got to let your soul shine
Shine till the break of day
I grew up thinkin that I had it made
Gonna make it on my own
But life can take the strongest man
And make him feel so alone
Now and then I feel a cold wind
Blowin through my achin bones
I think back to what my daddy said
He said Boy, in the darkness before the dawn
Let your soul shine
It's better than sunshine
It's better than moonshne
Damn sure better than rain
Yeah now people dont mind
We all get this way sometimes
Got to let your soul shine
Shine till the break of day
Sometimes a man can feel this emptiness
Like a woman has robbed him of his very soul
A woman too, God knows, she can feel like this
And when your world seems cold
You got to let your spirit take control
Let your soul shine
It's better than sunshine
It's better than moonshne
Damn sure better than rain
Lord now people don't mind
We all get this way sometimes
Got to let your soul shine
Shine till the break of day
Oh, it's better than sunshine
It's better than moonshne
Damn sure better than rain
Yeah now people don't mind
We all get this way sometimes
Got to let your soul shine
Shine till the break of day

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Warren Haynes
Soulshine lyrics © Buzzard Rock Music


The Allman Brothers Band - Soulshine - 
8/14/1994 - Woodstock 94

Thursday, March 4, 2021

What will life be like when it is good again?

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 4,2021

Dolly Parton wrote When Life Is Good Again offering hope for when the pandemic is over, and life is good again. When I listen to her beautiful song, I can't help but think it is also what life can be like when you heal PTSD. Too many don't know what it can be good again, and I'm living proof. My husband is living proof. Thousands of others are living proof that life as a survivor of whatever caused PTSD can actually be good again.
No matter how hard people try to understand, they can't if they didn't live with it. I know what the darkness is like and I also know what denial is like.

The PTSD I had in me was different than what my husband was going through. Mine only centered on my ex-husband, even though I had survived a lifetime of events. It stayed with me because first he tired to kill me and then he stalked me for a long time. I know I've told this story hundreds of times, so I'll keep it short. The nightmares and flashbacks, panic attacks and mood swings, paranoia, doubt in myself and sense of self worth suffered but in fleeting moments. All it took was the sound of a muscle car to set it all off. For decades, while I knew all the events I survived changed me. I did not notice that I had PTSD until my daughter pointed it out one day when we were talking about my ex-husband. That was hard to take for me because even as an "expert" and decades invested in helping people heal, I didn't even see it in myself. Just goes to show that people never stop learning. 

The thing is, I also know what it is like when life got good again. I healed. I got into a great relationship with myself so that I was ready to have one with the man I've been married to for over 36 years now. Life does get good again.

His life got good again too, even though he will be working on his mental health for the rest of  his life, it is a much better life than he would have had if he did not seek recovery over suffering.

If you want life to be good again for you as a survivor of whatever cause PTSD in you, then go for it. Work at it and you will have it. Did you know PTSD stops getting worse as soon as you talk about it and then you take power away from it?

Recovery is not perfect and is not a cure for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, but it is healing it the same way all wounds heal. You may end up with some battle scars, but they are only part of your past so you can rejoice in where you arrived!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

When Life Is Good Again
Dolly Parton

When life is good again
I'll be a better friend
A bigger person when
Life is good again
More thoughtful than I've been
I'll be so different then
More in the moment when
Life is good again
I'll open up my heart
And let the whole world in
I'll try to make amends
When life is good again
We've been brought to our knees
We've been so ill at ease
There are no guarantees
But you know life goes on
This too shall pass away
Bring new and different days
We need to change our ways
And right our wrongs
Let's open up our hearts
And let the whole world in
Let's try to make amends
When life is good again
I'll open up my doors again
And hear the message in the wind
Repent of all my sins (Hallelujah)
When life is good again
I'll try to be someone
On which you can depend
A helping hand to lend
Let's open up our eyes
And see what's goin' on
If we're to move along
From where we've been
Let's open up our hearts
And let the love shine in (shine in)
We've all got knees to bend
And we'll just pray 'til then
Ask God's forgiveness when
Life is good again
And it's gonna be good again
(It's gonna be, it's gonna be)
It's gonna be good again
It'll be alright (it'll be alright)
God's the reason for all things
You want rainbows, you get rain
We'll all be forever changed (forever changed)
I'll sail my boat and fly my kite
Walk in the park, go out at night
And hold my loved ones extra tight
When everything is on the mend
I'll even drink with my old friends
Sing and play my mandolin
We'll make it through this long dark night
Darkness fades when faced with light
But everything's gonna be alright
When life is good again

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Dolly Parton / Kent Wells
When Life Is Good Again lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC 

Bonus Video

Tuesday, March 2, 2021

Just another heart in need of rescue

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 2, 2021

All too often people with PTSD will go from one relationship to another, without ever discovering what went wrong. They end up blaming the other person and move on. The trouble is, they never developed a strong relationship with themselves.

How can you think you can give something to someone else, you are unable to give to yourself? If you have PTSD, there is a rush of good feelings coming to you with the start of something new with someone else. That rush wears off and you are left alone again, just as sad and in even more pain.

Stop! Stop starting something you are not willing to succeed at. Get to know yourself enough to like yourself again and to love whatever is lovable about you. Be happy to be by yourself and then you can be happy being with someone else.

When you heal and you are ready, you'll be able to give the new person in your life, the best parts of you and then it can work. If not, you'll just keep "waiting on love's sweet charity" to make it work.


In case you didn't guess by now, the featured video is Whitesnake Here I Go Again!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Here I Go Again
Whitesnake

I don't know where I'm goin'
But I sure know where I've been
Hanging on the promises in songs of yesterday
An' I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time
Here I go again, here I go again
Tho' I keep searching for an answer
I never seem to find what I'm looking for
Oh Lord, I pray you give me strength to carry on
'Cause I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams
Here I go again on my own
Goin' down the only road I've ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
An' I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time
Just another heart in need of rescue
Waiting on love's sweet charity
An' I'm gonna hold on for the rest of my days
'Cause I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams
And here I go again on my own
Goin' down the only road I've ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
An' I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time
But here I go again, here I go again,
Here I go again, here I go
'Cause I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams
Here I go again on my own
Goin' down the only road I've ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
An' I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time
Here I go again on my own
Goin' down the only road I've ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
'Cause I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams
Here I go again on my own
Goin' down the only road I've ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: David Coverdale / Bernie Marsden
Here I Go Again lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner Chappell Music, Inc 

Sunday, February 28, 2021

sometimes the most powerful thing is what you believe

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 28, 2021

Today's feature video has me very confused. The first video I saw was a lyric video and gave me great comfort. The other one was a video where actors had me thinking a totally different way.

That is what life is like. If you don't know what the message of PTSD is, then you think from your imagination. Often that is not a good place to spend your time. If you know what the message is telling you, then you can imagine yourself healing and life getting better. Sometimes it is not just a matter of what you know, or what you just think you know, but sometimes the most powerful thing is what you believe.

If you believe there is no hope for you, then you are trapped. If you believe in something that offers hope, then you have enough fuel to seek it out. 

For me, I am sustained by faith and hope. I take comfort from what I know and even more from what I believe. When I heard Don't Deserve You, all I could think about was Jesus and how no one really deserves Him or what He did for us.

You never give up
When I'm falling apart
Your arms are always open wide
And You're quick to forgive
When I make a mistake
You love me in the blink of an eye
I don't deserve Your love
But You give it to me anyway
Can't get enough
You're everything I need
And when I walk away
You take off running and come right after me
But what if you do not believe Jesus was real? You can still understand because you could have been involved in an accident where someone else did not survive. You could have survived combat. You could have survived one of the mass shootings where you lost a friend. You may have thought they deserved to live more than you did. That can haunt you. Sometimes, what we imagine, is what determines the rest of our lives as survivors.

I am Greek Orthodox and believe in the Holy Trinity. For me, that was constantly part of my life. My parents passed away. My brothers passed away. People came into and out of my life, all my life. Each one became a part of me, for sadly for worse sometimes, but mostly for better. What I believe plays a huge part in how I think about music and the message I take from it.

This is the video I took great comfort from.
If the message you receive is one of comfort, then it changes your mood for the better. It fills you up with hope and reminds you that you do matter. It tells you that you are not alone believing you don't deserve someone loving you but when they do, you understand that someone believes you are worth loving.

When we understand that we cannot change what has been, helps us know, we have something to build what we want become.


Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Don't Deserve You 
Plumb 

You're the first face that I see
And the last thing I think about
You're the reason that I'm alive
You're what I can't live without
You're what I can't live without
You never give up
When I'm falling apart
Your arms are always open wide
And You're quick to forgive
When I make a mistake
You love me in the blink of an eye
I don't deserve Your love
But You give it to me anyway
Can't get enough
You're everything I need
And when I walk away
You take off running and come right after me
It's what You do
And I don't deserve You
You're the light inside my eyes
You give me a reason to keep trying
You give me more than I could dream
And You bring me to my knees
You bring me to my knees
Your heart is gold and how am I the one
That You've chosen to love
I still can't believe that You're right next to me
After all that I've done
I don't deserve Your love
But You give it to me anyway
Can't get enough
You're everything I need
And when I walk away
You take off running and come right after me
It's what You do
And I don't deserve You

I don't deserve a chance like this
I don't deserve a love that gives me everything
You're everything I want
I don't deserve Your love
But You give it to me anyway
Can't get enough
You're everything I need
And when I walk away
You take off running and come right after me
It's what You do
And I don't deserve You
And I don't deserve You

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Matt Bronleewe / Tiffany Arbuckle / Paul Van Dyke
Don't Deserve You lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., Warner Chappell Music, Inc, Essential Music Publishing

This is the video that got me confused!


Tuesday, February 23, 2021

I am everyday people, Yahoo!

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 23, 2021

We need a chair dancing song today! Things are so crazy and everyone is bickering with everyone else. It is almost as if they are looking for something to be disagreeable about. Isn't it better to try to see what you have in common, at least for a while?

How many times have you been around someone who is cranky and ended up taking that negative attitude onto your own day? You could be at a cash register and the cashier seems like they want to just bite your head off. You can judge them or understand they are just as human as you are. Maybe they have a hard time in their own personal life, then again, it could be something as simple as a lot of cranky people coming into the store that did.

What do you do? Do you just take the bad mood and let it change the mood you're in, or, do you change the cashier's mood and make it better? 

Having PTSD can put a lot of negative emotions in you and you can end up passing them onto your family. If you see them being miserable, you may say that you don't want to be a burden to them anymore. You may think of taking your own life, but the thing is, that puts a lifetime burden on them. Isn't it better to stay in your life and do what you can in a positive way to be happier and make them happier too?

This is why today the featured video is, Sly and the Family Stone, Everyday People. "We got to live together" so wouldn't it be so much better to be happier about it instead of being miserable?

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Everyday People
Sly and the Family Stone 

Sometimes I'm right and I can be wrong
My own beliefs are in my song
The butcher, the banker, the drummer and then
Makes no difference what group I'm in
I am everyday people, yeah yeah
There is a blue one who can't accept
The green one for living with
A fat one tryin' to be a skinny one
Different strokes for different folks
And so on and so on and scooby dooby dooby
Ooh sha sha
We got to live together
I am no better and neither are you
We're all the same whatever we do
You love me you hate me
You know me and then
You can't figure out the bag I'm in
I am everyday people
There is a long hair
That doesn't like the short hair
For being such a rich one
That will not help the poor one
Different strokes for different folks
And so on and so on scooby dooby dooby
Ooh sha sha
We got to live together
There is a yellow one that won't
Accept the black one
That won't accept the red one
That won't accept the white one
Different strokes for different folks
And so on and so on and
Scooby dooby dooby
Ooh sha sha
I am everyday people

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Sylvester Stewart
Everyday People lyrics © Mijac Music 

Monday, February 22, 2021

Can I Go Too

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 22, 2021

I was talking to a wife of a Vietnam veteran after she read my book, For The Love Of Jack and she said she wished she read it when it first came out in 2003. Her husband walked out of her life and she still loved him, but she had no idea what he was going through, or why everything went to hell.

This reminded me of when we had the worst of our years and how many times it seemed next to impossible to stay together. The thing is, even if you know what PTSD is, it is still a battle. But as with all battles, it is better if you fight them together.

That is why today the featured video is Which Way You Goin' Billy.

This story behind Which Way You Goin' Billy
Terry was a big Buddy Holly fan, and started writing the song in his pre-Poppy days with the working title "Which Way You Goin' Buddy?" He had the melody, but couldn't come up with a lyrical theme. A few years later, after he formed The Poppy Family, he hit on the idea. In our interview with Terry Jacks, he explained: "It was in 1969 and I had been reading about all these guys going to Vietnam and leaving their women behind in Seattle, and I knew somebody down there that was doing that. I thought, 'Wow, that must be awful.' These guys go and their wives or girlfriends wouldn't know whether they were coming back. That's quite a deal, going to war over there, and it was such a stupid war. So I said, 'That's what I'm going to write about: this woman that's left behind. Which way you going, Billy? Can I go, too?'"


If you have PTSD, the people who love you have no way of knowing what is going on with you. Give them a chance to stand by your side. Don't make them regret not knowing what you wouldn't tell them.

Maybe they will leave you, but that will probably happen if you let them think it is their fault. Isn't your relationship worth trying to get them to understand?

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD


Which Way You Goin' Billy
The Poppy Family 

Which way you goin', Billy?
Can I go too?
Which way you goin', Billy?
Can I go with you?
I really love you, Billy
And all this time
I thought you loved me, Billy
And you were mine
I'm gonna miss you, Billy
And though I'm trying
I'm hurtin' so bad, Billy
I can't help cryin'
You are my whole babe
My heart and my soul babe
I'd have nothing to show babe
If you should go away
You are my whole babe
My heart and my soul babe
I'd have nothing to show babe
If you should go
Which way you goin', Billy?
Or need I ask?
'Cause you don't want me, Billy
You're free at last
I won't forget you, Billy
For all my life
I'll always love you, Billy
I'll stay your wife
You are my whole babe
My heart and my soul babe
I'd have nothing to show babe
If you should go away
You are my whole babe
My heart and my soul babe
I'd have nothing to show babe
If you should go
You are my whole babe
My heart and my soul babe
I'd have nothing to show babe
If you should go away

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Terry Jacks
Which Way You Goin' Billy lyrics © Gone Fishin Music 

Friday, February 19, 2021

the power you do have to make a difference

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 19, 2021

These are Godawful days right now. A pandemic of illness and anger sweeping over the country. So many people hurting and suffering, wondering how they can get through this day. The people of Texas are going through so much right now, they are wondering how to stay alive today on top of everything else. Human nature has many sitting around, getting angry and frustrated, wanting to get justice from those in charge. The thing is, no regular citizen has the power to change the causes of any of it today. We only have the power to change what we can.

I only know a tiny bit of what they are going through in Texas. I lived in Florida and we had a lot of hurricanes when I was there. I remember when Hurricane Charlie came through Central Florida. It was terrible. No power, streets destroyed and empty stores, if we were lucky enough to find one with power on. We did what we could, searching for water, food and operating gas stations. We were lucky that we had our power back in a matter of hours, and had little damage to our house. Some of our neighbors were not so lucky.

Still I remember how relieved we were to see the National Guard trucks bringing in water, supplies, helping to clean up and get power restored to other neighborhoods. We were even more grateful because we knew, they left their own homes and families to come and take care of the rest of us.

When you are going through these horrible days, you need to take care of you and your family to make it through today. Think about the power you do have to make a difference. If you can, try to help in whatever way you do have the power to do. Even making a tiny difference can seem like a miracle.


Remember other days when you didn't think you could get through them, but you did and better days came afterwards. That is why the featured video today is One Republic Better Days.

Each really sucky day ended up becoming better days because you got through the shitty ones, especially if you are dealing with PTSD. Doing something productive, and positively, can change the way today is. Use what power you do have until you can hold people accountable, because that is also in your power, but just not very useful to you right now.

Make a difference as much as you can, where you can, so you will help someone else have a better day too.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Better Days
One Republic 

Oh, I know that there'll be better days
Oh, that sunshine 'bout to come my way
May we never ever shed another tear for today
'Cause oh, I know that there'll be better days
Wakin' up in California
But these clouds they won't go away
Everyday is like another storm, yeah
I'm just tryin' not to go insane
Yeah, and the city shinin' so bright
So many dark nights, so many dark days
But any time I feel the paranoia
I close my eyes and I pray
Oh, I know that there'll be better days
Oh, that sunshine 'bout to come my way
May we never ever shed another tear for today
'Cause oh, I know that there'll be better days
Been wakin' up to a new year
Got the past million miles away
I'm waking up with a new fear (new fear)
But I know it'll wash away
Whatever you do, don't worry 'bout me
I'm thinkin' 'bout you, don't worry 'bout us
'Cause in the morning everything can change, yeah
And time will tell you it does
Oh, I know that there'll be better days
Oh, that sunshine 'bout to come my way
May we never ever shed another tear for today
'Cause oh, I know that there'll be better days
Better days
Better days
Better days
Better days
May we never ever shed another tear for today
'Cause oh, I know that there'll be better days
May we never ever shed another tear for today
'Cause oh, I know that there'll be better days

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Brent Michael Kutzle / John Nathaniel / Ryan B Tedder
Better Days lyrics © Downtown Music Publishing 

Bonus video 
You Raise Me Up
Celtic Women 

Do What You Can
Bon Jovi

Thursday, February 18, 2021

forget yesterday, own tomorrow

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 18, 2021

"I just want to go back to the way I was." How many times have you wished you could? How many times have you tried to figure out a way to do that?

That is something that everyone with PTSD wishes they could do, but no one can go back to yesterday. The best way to deal with that fact is to understand the power that you do have over tomorrow. You get to define every moment as a survivor.


Life is all about changes. One day you lived your "normal" life but something happened to you. You went from the way you were before, into being a victim of whatever caused your PTSD. In the blink of an eye, you then became a survivor of it. Since you understand that PTSD was caused by changes that happened to you, now you can understand that the rest of you tomorrows are in your control.

This is why today the featured video is The Beatles, Yesterday.

The best way to move on from longing for yesterday, is to grieve for it being gone. Let out the pain you feel so that you can get that lousy feeling out of the way, and good feelings can move in. In other words, make some room for a better tomorrow by honoring what you left behind you.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Yesterday
The Beatles 

All my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as though they're here to stay
Oh, I believe in yesterday
Suddenly
I'm not half the man I used to be
There's a shadow hangin' over me
Oh, yesterday came suddenly
Why she had to go, I don't know, she wouldn't say
I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday
Yesterday
Love was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh, I believe in yesterday
Why she had to go, I don't know, she wouldn't say
I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday
Yesterday
Love was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh, I believe in yesterday
Mm mm mm mm mm mm mm

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: John Lennon / Paul McCartney
Yesterday lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC 

Monday, February 15, 2021

Did you let yourself know you matter in your own life?

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 15, 2021

Yesterday was Valentine's Day. We let those we love know how we feel about them. Was there someone you forgot about?

When we are born, the first love we have is for our mothers. After all, we know them inside...and out. Soon we love our fathers. We grow to love brothers and sisters, aunts, uncles and cousins. As we get older, we grow to love our friends. We learn to trust and share our lives. We do not always share our hearts.

Did you ever learn to love yourself? Did you let yourself know you matter in your own life?
I thought a lot about love songs yesterday. The one that kept popping into my brain was The Carpenters Only Yesterday. There are a lot of people who are lonely. You may feel there is nothing lovable about you, especially if you have had bad relationships in the past. It could have come as betrayal from a friend, or family member, or someone you gave your heart to. 

Did you ever give your heart to yourself? After all, you know you inside and out. You know all your flaws as well as you know all your qualities. You know what you went through, maybe even still going through, but you also know what remains inside of you that feeds hope of a brighter day.

Isn't it time you sang this song to yourself about yourself? Who else can know you better? Who else can show you how to "leave the past and all its tears behind" you?

When you have PTSD, the feeling of not being worthy of someone loving you, is a hard one to stop if the people you had in your life, pushed you away. Take a good look at the way the relationship was. Did you push them away first? Did you give them a chance to know what pain you were going through? Did you give them a chance to help you?

Did you end up hurting them because they didn't know what changed in you? Forgive them and forgive yourself.

Love yourself enough to believe you deserve to be happier. Love yourself enough to do more than hope for someone to come into your life to make you feel loved. You are already in your life and that should be where you begin to feed love so you have enough inside of you to give away to someone else.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Only Yesterday
The Carpenters 

After long enough of being alone
Everyone must face their share of loneliness
In my own time, nobody knew
The pain I was goin' through
And waitin' was all my heart could do
Hope was all I had until you came
Maybe you can't see how much you mean to me
You were the dawn breaking the night
The promise of mornin' light
Filling the world surroundin' me
When I hold you
Baby, baby, feels like maybe
Things will be all right
Baby, baby, your love's made me
Free as a song, singin' forever
Only yesterday when I was sad and I was lonely
You showed me the way to leave the past and all its tears behind me
Tomorrow maybe even brighter than today
Since I threw my sadness away
Only yesterday
I have found my home here in your arms
Nowhere else on earth I'd really rather be
Life waits for us, share it with me
The best is about to be
And so much is left for us to see
When I hold you
Baby, baby, feels like maybe
Things will be all right
Baby, baby, your love's made me
Free as a song, singin' forever
Only yesterday when I was sad and I was lonely
You showed me the way to leave the past and all its tears behind me
Tomorrow maybe even brighter than today
Since I threw my sadness away
Only yesterday (only yesterday, only yesterday)
Only yesterday when I was sad and I was lonely
You showed me the way to leave the past and all its tears behind me

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: John Bettis / Richard Carpenter
Only Yesterday lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group 

Saturday, February 13, 2021

Healing makes having PTSD easier but "It Don't Come Easy"

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 13, 2021

Today I had to go to the car wash. My car was covered with road salt because we've been getting a lot of snow lately. While sitting in the car, watching all the machines take away all the salt, I thought about someone I know going through a hard time. Then I thought how great it would be if all we had to do was get onto a belt, put our body into neutral and have all our struggles washed away.

It don't come that easily. Nothing really comes easy for everyone all the time. That is why today the featured video  is Ringo Starr It Don't Come easy.

When I was in school, some of my classmates seemed to learn everything easily. The wiz kids who usually got straight A's sooner or later, discovered that something would not come easy to them. Some had a hard time in gym. Some had a hard time in art class. For others, subjects were easy but they couldn't hold a conversation.

Having PTSD is not easy. Healing isn't easy either. The thing is, healing makes it easier to have PTSD. Sure, it can be hard at first, but it makes your life easier doing it. Then you can tutor someone having a hard time with this and make it easier on them too.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and#TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD
It Don't Come Easy
Ringo Starr 

It don't come easy
You know it don't come easy
It don't come easy
You know it don't come easy
Got to pay your dues if you wanna sing the blues
And you know it don't come easy
You don't have to shout or leap about
You can even play them easy
Forget about the past and all your sorrows
The future won't last
It will soon be your tomorrow
I don't ask for much, I only want trust
And you know it don't come easy
And this love of mine keeps growin' all the time
And you know it just ain't easy
Open up your heart, let's come together
Use a little love
And we will make it work out better
Got to pay your dues if you wanna sing the blues
And you know it don't come easy
You don't have to shout or leap about
You can even play them easy
Please, remember peace is how we make it
Here within your reach
If you're big enough to take it
I don't ask for much, I only want trust
And you know it don't come easy
And this love of mine keeps growin' all the time
And you know it don't come easy

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Richard Starkey
It Don’t Come Easy lyrics © Startling Music Ltd. 

Calling all angels

Wounded Times PTSD Patrol Kathie Costos April 15, 2021 Today my heart is broken. Two reports about the suicides in the military and vetera...

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It is your life, get in and drive it