Showing posts with label faith. Show all posts
Showing posts with label faith. Show all posts

Sunday, June 13, 2021

when we are no longer remembered

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
June 13,2021

Everyone will die one day. Famous people become part of history. For most people, someone will remember them, for as long as they live, but a day will come, when we are no longer remembered.
Conversely, to blot out a person’s name was to destroy that individual for all eternity, to eliminate him from the historical record.
Death Ancient Egypt
The thing is, what you do here on earth, never dies. Your name may be forgotten, but every life you touch, passes that on to others. They touch more lives and it spreads far beyond what you can see, beyond people you know, far more than you realize and much longer than you breathe.

Today's featured video is Casting Crowns, Scars In Heaven.
Matthew McConaughey Reads 1 Corinthians 12 12 27
We are all part of one body and each part of the "body" has a job to do, while we live. When someone we love dies, according to the Bible, there is no pain, sadness, or any bad memories. They will take all the good with them and it will live on. All the love they receive, joy, happiness and wonderful memories live on. There are no scars in Heaven. Maybe our job, instead of wanting to be remembered, is to have what we do remembered long after we are gone?

When we do something for someone else, it changes them. When you have PTSD, most of the time, it was caused by someone else. You know what that pain is like and how it changed you. Hopefully by now, you also know what it is like to have those scars healed because someone did something for you. They showed you that you do matter, and helped you heal the scars.

You can turn around and pass that on for them and they will change the other people in their lives by living a happier life. That gets passed on and on and on, long after they are gone too, but the number of lives you changed will never stop being changed.

Look at what happened because people decided to spread the messages of love that Jesus delivered. The 12 Disciples names are written in the Bible but there were 72 others also sent. No one knows their names but they had spread the messages to many more than the 12 did. What they delivered spread across the world and to generations of the generation they preached to. What you do when you live spreads too.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Scars in Heaven
Casting Crowns

If I had only known the last time
Would be the last time
I would have put off all the things I had to do
I would have stayed a little longer
Held on a little tighter
Now what I'd give for one more day with you
'Cause there's a wound here in my heart
Where something's missing
And they tell me that it's gonna heal with time
But I know you're in a place
Where all your wounds have been erased
And knowing yours are healed is healing mine
The only scars in Heaven
They won't belong to me and you
There'll be no such thing as broken
And all the old will be made new
And the thought that makes me smile now
Even as the tears fall down
Is that the only scars in Heaven
Are on the Hands that hold you now
I know the road you walked was anything but easy
You picked up your share of scars along the way
Oh, but now you're standing in the sun
You've fought your fight and your race is run
The pain is all a million miles away
The only scars in Heaven
They won't belong to me and you
There'll be no such thing as broken
And all the old will be made new
And the thought that makes me smile now
Even as the tears fall down
Is that the only scars in Heaven, yeah
Are on the Hands that hold you now
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
For the Hands that hold you now
There's not a day goes by that I don't see you
You live on in all the better parts of me
Until I'm standing with you in the sun
I'll fight this fight and this race I'll run
Until I finally see what you can see, oh-oh
The only scars in Heaven
They won't belong to me and you
There'll be no such thing as broken
And all the old will be made new
And the thought that makes me smile now
Even as the tears fall down
Is that the only scars in Heaven
Are on the Hands that hold you now

Source: Musixmatch 

Saturday, June 12, 2021

Love helped Orlando heal after Pulse stopped

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
June 12, 2021

Five years ago, a man so filled with hate, decided to murder 49 people and wound 53 more. He did not know them. He did not know who they were, what they did or anything other than the fact he hated them so much, he decided to slaughter them.

The survivors acted out of love for the people they were with and for total strangers. They helped one and other escape to a place where they could hide, if they could not get out of the building. Some of those killed, died saving someone else.

People who were not there, decided to respond out of love to do what they could to help. They rushed with their cars and trucks to take the wounded to hospitals. Police Officers and SWAT teams showed up, putting their own lives in danger to stop the man from killing more.

When it was over, when the sun came up, officers were walking around where the dead still laid on the floor with their cell phone ringing. The officers would be forever haunted by the sounds of someone trying to reach someone they loved to see if they were still alive...or not.

People in the area, joined together to donate blood. Thousands of people did whatever they could to help, not knowing if they were risking their own lives, because no one knew if there would be more people so filled with hate, they were ready to kill too. Strangers showed up to give people in line food and something to drink as they stood in the heat patiently waiting their turn to do whatever they could.

Money came in from all over the world to help the families bury the people they loved and to help the survivors with their medical expenses, lost wages and every other price they paid because they were targetted by hatred.

Crisis Intervention teams showed up for the families of those who died, for the survivors and for the responders. Mental Health professionals lined up to provide free trauma care.


Love won that day, as it usually does. When one person, or a few, decide to act out of hate, millions respond with love.

Introduction to the Sermon on the Mount

5 Now when Jesus saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him,

2 and he began to teach them.
The Beatitudes
He said:
3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
5 Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
7 Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
8 Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
9 Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11 “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.
12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
That is a list of people who are blessed. None of it is easy but all of it is based on love.

Salt and Light
13 “You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.
14 “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.
15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.
16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.
When people pretend they are doing something in the Name of God, or in the Name of Jesus, this is how you know if they are telling the truth or not.

Love for Enemies
43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’
44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,
45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.
46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?
47 And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?
48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
This can be especially hard, but consider what Jesus was facing, knowing He would be put to death for the sake of those He Loved, and yet He preached all about Love. It is more powerful than anything else there is.

Today the featured video has no lyrics. It only has names of the people murdered 5 years ago at the Pulse Nightclub. One man decided to murder them, but thousands responded with love!

Five First Responders to the Pulse Massacre. One Diagnosis: PTSD.

by Abe Aboraya, WMFE June 11, 2018
Pulse was one of the nation’s largest mass shootings, where 49 people died and at least 53 others were wounded. The invisible injuries to first responders represent another toll of the catastrophe.

For these five first responders — and many others — June 12 was the first day of their new lives, one in which they would confront post-traumatic stress disorder. Even though most had responded to gruesome scenes of murder, suicide and car accidents, that didn’t prepare them for the psychological injury of PTSD. Going forward, they would relive that day in flashbacks and nightmares, see danger behind every closed door, and become irritable and impatient with spouses and coworkers.

“There are just some events that are so horrific that no human being should be able to just process that and put it away,” said Deborah Beidel, a University of Central Florida professor who runs a clinic called UCF Restores that treats first responders with PTSD. read more here
And that is what happens when people who risk their lives to respond to what hatred does. But love helps them heal too!
I interviewd Dr. Beidel a few years ago.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from PTSD

Friday, June 4, 2021

So where do you find God?

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
June 4, 2021

(part 2 God is closer than you think)

Sometimes when we cannot find something, we search for hours, get frustrated and then find it right in front of us but we just didn't see it. It was there all along. So many people ask "Where was God?" when this happened or that happened. When all they saw was anger, hatred, evil and terrible events, it seemed as if God is on vacation because it happened. If we open our eyes, we find Him in what others do out of love.
And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. 
God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.
Look back at all the horrible images of events and then read about what happened afterwards. Natural disasters destroy and kill, but people respond to rebuild and comfort survivors. Accidents, fires, mass murders and all other terrible events throughout history caused people to respond in mass to do something out of love.

When you think about whatever happened that caused PTSD, and then remember what happened afterwards when people came to help you, then you know God was there too!

When you take remembrance of your own pain, to reach out to help someone else, that is love.
When you remember what it was like when you were lonely, and comfort someone else, that is love.
Whenever you do anything, no matter how small it may seem, to show someone they matter, that is love, and God is there.

June 12th 2016, Pulse Nightclub massacre
Vigils have been held around the country for the victims of the Orlando nightclub attack on June 12. Thousands of people, including Jennifer Ware (right) and Mary Ware, took part in a memorial in downtown Orlando a day after the massacre. David Goldman/AP

NPR reported on it with

3 Hours In Orlando: Piecing Together An Attack And Its Aftermath

I lived near Orlando when I happened. There were strangers in that club that night doing whatever they could to save others. Some people were showing up and driving the wounded to hospitals. Police Officers and SWAT teams were risking their lives to stop it. After it was over, the officers were talking about walking around looking for survivors with cell phones ringing non stop. They talked about how hard that was knowing on the other end of the phone was someone searching for someone they loved.

One person decided to do it out of hatred but millions around the world responded out of love. Soon afterwards, people were lining up donating blood in huge numbers. We stood in the heat not knowing if there would be another attack against all of us. It was all still being pieced together but it didn't matter. The people who showed up to help knew all they needed to know at the time....other people needed help. God was there too.

Some members of the clergy were preaching about the sin of people at Pulse more than they were preaching about the murderer. Some members of the clergy have a habit of preaching about hatred and judgement, at the same time they mention Jesus, almost as if they have no clue what Jesus preached. When people left those churches, God was there too, holding the door for them to walk away and leave the false teachers to find true ones.

When you realize that any religious leader is only human, you stop blaming God for what they did, and thank Him for opening your eyes to the love He always had for you. If you remember, Jesus prayed most of the time outside and so can you. You can talk to God whenever you want, and wherever you are. Your soul will know He hears you. Then you can help others know where God is, by what you do out of love!
When you act out of love you realize that God was there all along. So where do you find God? Today the featured video is Larry Fleet, Where I Find God.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Where I Find God
Larry Fleet 

The night I hit rock bottom, sittin' on an old bar stool
He paid my tab and put me in a cab, he didn't have to
But he could see I was hurtin', oh I wish I'd got his name
'Cause I didn't feel worth savin', but he saved me just the same
That day out on the water when the fish just wouldn't bite
I put my pole down, floated around, it was just so quiet
And I could hear my old man sayin', "Son, just be still"
'Cause you can't find peace like this in a bottle or a pill
From a bar stool to that Evinrude
Sunday mornin' in a church pew
In a deer stand or a hay field
An interstate back to Nashville
In a Chevrolet with the windows down
Me and Him just ridin' around
Sometimes, whether I'm lookin' for Him or not
That's where I find God
Sometimes late at night, I lie there and listen
To the sound of her heart beatin' and that song the crickets are singin'
And I don't know what they're sayin'
But it sounds like a hymn to me
No, I ain't too good at prayin'
But thanks for everything
From a bar stool to that Evinrude
Sunday mornin' in a church pew
In a deer stand or a hay field
An interstate back to Nashville
In a Chevrolet with the windows down
Me and Him just ridin' around
Sometimes, whether I'm lookin' for Him or not
That's where I find God
From a bar stool to that Evinrude
Sunday mornin' in a church pew
In a deer stand or a hay field
An interstate back to Nashville
In a Chevrolet with the windows down
Me and Him just ridin' around talkin'
Well, I do that a lot
Well, I do that a lot
That's where I find God

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Connie Harrington / Larry Fleet
Where I Find God lyrics © Sony/atv Tree Publishing, Goes Something Like This Music, Make It Matter Music, Larry Fleet Publishing 

Thursday, June 3, 2021

God is closer than you think

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
June 3, 2021

This is going up on Wounded Times and PTSD Patrol. Wounded Times is close to hitting 5 million page views. It still gets a lot of traffic no matter if I post on it or not. That tells me that the need is still there. I am retiring from work, but not this work. I am no longer under constraints from non-profits and their rules, so from now on, I will be posting on what I feel needs to be said. Some people will like it, but others won't. While I hope you like it, if you don't, there are plenty of other sites for you. From now on, I'll be posting on both sites, as I feel the need to say something and as always, I hope what I say helps someone.


There are many times we have conversations with someone, and we never forget them. Every once in a while I'll read something or listen to someone, and instantly be reminded of "that" conversation. Today was one of those days.

Years ago I was confronted by an angry veteran. I was at an event, enjoying the music, when he came over to me, glaring at the Chaplain patch on my vest. Pure hatred shot out of his eyes. Once he started to speak it was easy to figure out he had way too much to drink. To this day, I am not sure why I had so much patience with him instead of telling him to go away.

He wanted to know why I was wasting my time on something that didn't exist. Yes, he meant that in his mind, God wasn't real. Like a lot of veterans who had seen way too much horror in the world, he said, "If there was a God, He wouldn't let all that happen. He wouldn't just sit back, let us destroy each other." At one point the thing that haunted him the most popped out. "Little kids starving and getting blown up while that so called God sits back and watches!"

I asked him why he joined the military. He said to serve his country. I asked him if he loved the country or hated it. Naturally he got ticked off then snapped, "I love it." I asked him if he still did and he said he did. I asked him why he still loved it. He responded with, "Because of what this country tries to be. They sent us to defend the people of Kuwait. We did."

I asked him if that was a good reason or a bad one. He said it was a good one.

When people see so much evil, it is hard to understand how a loving God could allow all of it to happen. They forget that He allows freewill from all humans, to make their own choices, to listen to what He says or not, to believe in Him or not and to follow where He leads, or walk away.

We also miss the fact that if they can still care, then God was there all along. It is easy to not be bothered by something if you do not have the heart to feel anything. It is not easy if your soul is being crushed by it. The very fact that veteran still cared about total strangers proved that. God was closer than he thought.

He was inside his soul. Goodness does not come out of evil. Caring about others does not come out of evil.

When we talked a little longer, I tried to get him to understand that. Over and over again he came back with blaming God. I told him that God was there, because people like him risked their lives to save others and would have dropped their weapons if the enemy dropped theirs. I told him that God was there because he was. He cried and walked away. I decided to not try to follow him because I knew he was drinking too much and I never saw him again.

When all you see is evil, that is all you think is there, but when you change what you focus on, you are able to see so much more. I remember the terrible things that happened to me, but I remember those who came to help me more. I remember feeling lost and alone, but I remember what it felt like when I was "found" and knew I wasn't alone in this world. So instead of only seeing what evil thing someone did to me, I focused on what others did for me because God was there.

Today the featured video is Bette Midler, From A Distance. God is watching us, but not from a distance. He lives in all of us and has an active part in all of our lives. When we listen, miracles happen.
If you have PTSD, I am always talking about taking care of your mind, body and spirit...your soul. I hope this fed your soul so that the next time God is trying to get through to you, you will listen.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it! 
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD 
From a Distance
Bette Midler

From a distance the world looks blue and green
And the snow capped mountains white
From a distance the ocean meets the stream
And the eagle takes to flight
From a distance
There is harmony
And it echoes through the land
It's the voice of hope
It's the voice of peace
It's the voice of every man
From a distance
We all have enough
And no one is in need
And there are no guns, no bombs and no disease
No hungry mouths to feed
From a distance
We are instruments
Marching in a common band
Playing songs of hope
Playing songs of peace
They are the songs of every man
God is watching us
God is watching us
God is watching us
From a distance
From a distance
You look like my friend
Even though we are at war
From a distance
I just cannot comprehend
What all this fightings for
From a distance
There is harmony
And it echoes through the land
And it's the hope of hopes
It's the love of loves
It's the heart of every man
It's the hope of hopes
It's the love of loves
This is the song for every man
God is watching us
God is watching us
God is watching us
From a distance
Oh, God is watching us
God is watching
God is watching us
From a distance

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Julie Gold
From a Distance lyrics © Wing And Wheel Music, Julie Gold Music

Everytime you stand by someone else, do something for someone else out of love...God is there!
Northwell Health Nurse Choir: Gets the GOLDEN BUZZER with their EMOTIONAL Performance!

Thursday, May 20, 2021

Miracles don't come from nowhere

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 20, 2021

When you pray for something, and your prayers are answered, do you actually understand that God did it? Do you know how God answers prayers? He doesn't just snap His fingers to deliver it. He tries to use other people to give what you ask for. When it is something you need to do on your own, He does it by guiding you to find what you need to. If your prayers are not being answered, you may end up blaming God, when it was not His fault.

Have you ever thought about someone all of a sudden and had an urge to call them? If you do, you discover they needed someone to talk to. You were used to answer their prayers. How many times have you shrugged off the urge and found out something horrible happened to them, and you wished you had followed through on making the call?

Miracles happen all the time but most of the time we don't acknowledge them. We don't understand how God uses regular people all the time because they were willing to listen to Him and act on it. Somehow we end up claiming the miracle came out of nowhere.

The fact you have PTSD because you survived whatever caused PTSD to hit you, is a miracle itself. I've had over 10 of them. To me, it wasn't just surviving it, it was also the people who came to help me after it happened. It was holding onto my faith and letting it help heal me. It was the people who studied trauma and wrote about it long before I even knew it existed, and helped me understand it.

Over all these years, I've saved a lot of lives that you will never know about. It isn't my job to tell their stories or share anything I've done. It is, and was, my job to learn, understand, and be there to help them heal too. 

They prayed for help. I prayed to be of help to them. They followed being guided to me and I responded, or they read what I was guided to write. Their prayers were answered and so were mine.

The fact you found this site is a miracle itself because when I started on my older site, there were not many people doing this work. Now it is crowded and they managed to use social media to promote their sites. 

While I admit I am a bit jealous of them, the goal was to change the outcome and help people heal. I could overcome that jealousy because they are reaching more people than I ever could.

I remember what it was like when I just started to learn about all of this in 1982. I was lost and felt all alone. We didn't have computers back then, so I had to go to the library to learn. When I finally discovered that I was not alone, it was a miracle to me. Still the people who wrote the books I learned from will never know how much they helped me or the others I helped over the years, or the others they helped.

Is God asking you to deliver a miracle or leading you to find what you are looking for?

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD 

Miracles Out Of Nowhere
Kansas

On a crystal morning I can see the dewdrops falling
Down from a gleaming heaven, I can hear the voices call
When you comin' home now, son, the world is not for you
Tell me what's your point of view
Hey there Mister Madman, what'cha know that I don't know
Tell me some crazy stories, let me know who runs this show
Glassy-eyed and laughing, he turns and walks away
Tell me what made you that way
Here I am just waiting for a sign
Asking questions, learning all the time
It's always here, it's always there
It's just love, and miracles out of nowhere
Tell me now dear mother, what's it like to be so old
Children grown and leavin', seems the world is growin' cold
And though your body's ailin' you
Your mind is just like new
Tell me where you're goin' to
Here I am just waiting for a sign
Asking questions, learning all the time
It's always here, it's always there
It's just love, and miralces out of nowhere
It's so simple right before your eyes
If you'll look through this disguise
It's always here, it's always there
It's just love and miracles out of nowhere
I sang this song a hundred, maybe a thousand years ago
No one ever listens, I just play and then I go
Off into the sunset like the western heroes do
Tell me what you're gonna do
Here I am, I'm sure to see a sign
All my life I knew that it was mine
It's always here, it's always there
It's just love and miracles out of nowhere

Flash Lyrics 

If you need to see them perform,,,,

Saturday, April 17, 2021

My soul knows He hears me

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 17, 2021

When we think about miracles, we may remember the miracles in the Bible, but then, forget all the other ones that have happened. Not just throughout history, but in our own lives. Surviving the event that caused PTSD, was a miracle. It is just hard to see it that way when you are suffering. Sometimes you feel as if you are all alone. The thing is, you may have chosen to be by your silence.

We make choices all the time that may prevent us from doing what God wants us to. Pride may stop us from using the gifts He gave us if we put it above what we know is the right thing to do. It keeps us from forgiving others. It stops us from admitting we need help, as much as it stops us from admitting it hurts when we ask people to help us, but they choose to not help us, when we need them to do what we ask them to do.

Yesterday a friend shared a link on Facebook to Carrie Underwood singing How Great Thou Art to an empty theater. It seemed like a strange thing to do, but it was the right thing to do. It was easy to see that she was singing to God and giving Him praise. That got me thinking about how I pray. I pray by myself and speak directly to God. My soul knows He hears me. My life proves He heard my prayers and gave me everything I asked for.

I know that when I am going through difficult times, I talk to God about everything going on within me and then ask Him for what I need. He shows me the way. He knows I want to make a difference, but first He made a difference within me. I do this site all the time but I had no idea why I started it almost 4 years ago. Then I remembered one of my friends, a Pastor I worked with, telling me about a miracle that happened to her.

She was preparing a sermon to be delivered several weeks away. As she was writing it, it went off in a different direction than she had planned. Her soul told her to keep going until it was finished. When the week for that Bible passage came, she delivered the sermon. Some of the regular members of the congregation were confused about it. One woman she had never seen before, reached out her arms, hugged her and whispered, "I needed to hear that." She walked away but my friend knew she did the right thing doing the strange thing. The one person who needed to hear it, did!

Maybe it seems strange to you to pray. Maybe you don't even know how to start.
Matthew 6:5-6
Prayer
5 “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 6 But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

If you don't know what to say.
Matthew 6:7

7 But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.

When we pray, the only one who needs to hear us is God. Speak to Him and it will make it easier to speak to others about what you need. This isn't about converting you or getting you to go to church. The only thing I want to change is getting you to be happier in your own life. Make a miracle in your own life and feel it in your soul.

Once you #BreakTheSilence with God, it makes it easier to do it with people because you will feel no shame asking God and He will show you the way.
Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
How Great Thou Art
Carrie Underwood

Oh Lord, my God
When I, in awesome wonder
Consider all the worlds Thy hands have made
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder
Thy power throughout the universe displayed
Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee
How great Thou art, how great Thou art
Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee
How great Thou art, how great Thou art
And when I think that God, His Son not sparing
Sent Him to die, I scarce can take it in
That on the cross, my burden gladly bearing
He bled and died to take away my sin
Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee
How great Thou art, how great Thou art
Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee
How great Thou art, how great Thou art
When Christ shall come, with shout of acclamation
And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart
Then I shall bow, in humble adoration
And then proclaim, my God, how great Thou art
Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee
How great Thou art, how great Thou art
Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee
How great Thou art, how great Thou art
How great Thou art, how great Thou art

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Stuart Hine
How Great Thou Art lyrics © Sony/atv Tree Publishing, Universal Music Publishing, I Am They Publishing, Manna Music Inc

Carrie Underwood’s performance of “How Great Thou Art” as part of “My Savior: Live From The Ryman.”

Tuesday, March 16, 2021

better days with better ways

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 16, 2021

Are you fighting people who are trying to help you? Are you fighting God? Are you fighting yourself? You know you are not the way you want to be, not the way you used to be and nothing looks the way it did before. What are you doing about it? Are you trying to find someone to blame for the way your life is? Then maybe you should start with yourself because for whatever reason, you ended up believing you are a lost cause.

Time to start believing you are a worthy of better days.

Most of the time, survivors left the church because they did not find what they needed there. At least that is what some say but the truth is, what you needed was the foundation the faith was built on. That foundation is Jesus. Personally I don't attend church anymore and became a Chaplain so that I could care for the needs of fellow churchless souls, much like Jesus and His disciples did. They went to where the people were and tended to their needs, giving them reason to hope for better days, learning a better way to live and know they were loved.

Look at His life! He was raised poor, spent His ministry homeless and had no possessions. He was treated like a rock star one minute and hated the next by the same people who ended up shouting for Him to be Crucified. He knew what it was like to feel abandoned, betrayed, tested, and He knew what it was like to feel the emotional pain of someone else so deeply, He cried for them. He got angry.

There is no way of knowing why you survived and others did not. The only thing you can be sure of, is you did and it is up to you to define what you will do for the rest of your life. If you are blaming God that is because you think He judged you and wanted you to suffer...but those are your thoughts and not His.

PTSD strikes the emotional part of your brain and that is where your soul lives. If your soul has a strong emotional core, then you feel things more deeply. That means you love more deeply and feel pain stronger than others. What you may not be aware of is how powerful that soul of yours is. Everything you need to heal is already there. The purpose of getting help is to help you find it within yourself. One more thing you may not be aware of is that Jesus, the Son of God, had no problem asking for help when He needed it. He couldn't have done what He was sent here to do, alone.


This is why today the featured video is Goo Goo Dolls, Better Days. You may think it is about Christmas but if you remember what church services were like, it was all about that one day when He came into this world, and the day He left all His love behind for all of our days!


Better Days
Goo Goo Dolls

And you asked me what I want this year
And I try to make this kind and clear
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
'Cause I don't need boxes wrapped in strings
And designer love and empty things
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
So take these words and sing out loud
'Cause everyone is forgiven now
'Cause tonight's the night the world begins again
I need some place simple where we could live
And something only you can give
And that's faith and trust and peace while we're alive
And the one poor child who saved this world
And there's ten million more who probably could
If we all just stopped and said a prayer for them
So take these words and sing out loud
'Cause everyone is forgiven now
'Cause tonight's the night the world begins again
I wish everyone was loved tonight
And somehow stop this endless fight
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
So take these words and sing out loud
'Cause everyone is forgiven now
'Cause tonight's the night the world begins again
'Cause tonight's the night the world begins again

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: John Rzeznik
Better Days lyrics © Songtrust Ave, BMG Rights Management



Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD


And if you are among those who suffered because you were willing to risk your life for the sake of others, understand that PTSD Is Not God's Judgment.

Friday, February 12, 2021

Are you following your turn signals?

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 12, 2021

When you are lucky enough to know your purpose in life, it can come with a lot of heartache. It can also come with an inner peace if you look at your purposed in the right way.

A friend of mine is a Presbyterian Minister. She preaches at a church, but she also does a weekly sermon on YouTube called Geeks Of Fatih. These sermons are for those who feel they do not belong in a church but belong in the group of like minded Science Fiction fans. They are blended with that, plus current events and Bible passages. She saw a need and while she was still living her purpose, she adapted to meet that need.

I worked with her for a couple of years while I was Administrator of Christian Ed and she was the youth pastor. She is filling her purpose in the church the same as she is filling it online to this group, filled with  love and true compassion. 

For many years my purpose was to help others after surviving trauma. For 38 years it was helping veterans and their families, then military members, followed by first responders. Because of the pandemic, knowing there were already over 8 million in the US with diagnosed PTSD, it was necessary to open up to help everyone dealing with surviving trauma. My purpose didn't change but over the years, I had to adapt to meet the needs too.


To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven

There are some people who are doing exactly what they were called to do but it is hard when they look at it the wrong way. I am guilty of that myself from time to time. I get angry when I discover my work being used by others, as if it was theirs to just take. But when I get my ego out of the way, I have peace.

Look at it this way. Our purpose has limits. John the Baptist had the job to prepare the way for Jesus, but not to be Jesus. When Jesus sent out the 12 Disciples everyone knows because they were named in the Bible, He also sent out 72 with them. No one knows their names but they are responsible for clearing the way for Christianity to spread.
10 After this the Lord appointed seventy-two others and sent them two by two ahead of him to every town and place where he was about to go. 2 He told them, “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.
Luke 10

Do you think they looked back on their lives and thought it was wasted? No because they saw the people face to face, knowing their lives changed because of them. They knew that those people, would also change the lives of others they came in contact with.

All of us can't be superstars or famous or rich. It is not the job of all of us to be the leader of the parades, but all parades need someone to decide where to march and clear the way for the others to get from one place to another.

Are you following your turn signals?

That is why today, the featured video is The Byrds, Turn, Turn, Turn. Live your purpose no matter who supports you because of the One Who Sent You to do it!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Turn! Turn! Turn!
The Byrds

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time to every purpose, under heaven
A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time to every purpose, under heaven
A time to build up, a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time to every purpose, under heaven
A time of love, a time of hate
A time of war, a time of peace
A time you may embrace, a time to refrain from embracing
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time to every purpose, under heaven
A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to rend, a time to sew
A time for love, a time for hate
A time for peace, I swear it's not too late

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Peter Seeger
Turn! Turn! Turn! lyrics © T.R.O. Inc. 

Saturday, December 19, 2020

Out Of My Darkest Hours

PTSD Patrol
Kahtie Costos
December 19, 2020

This may make you think I'm insane, but if you've been reading these posts or watching the videos....you already figured that one out.

When things were really hard, I could't talk to my friends, because they didn't want know what PTSD was. I would listen to them complain about the finest things, and get so upset as if they were complaining about something enormous...and I'd walk away knowing the difference between ego being bent out of shape, and what it was like to see someone you love suffering.

I couldn't talk to my family as much as I wanted to, because they'd usually listen, then tell me I should get a divorce. There were times when I couldn't brush off their lousy advice, so I wouldn't even open the door to it happening.

I would go for rides and listen to the radio. Most songs are love songs, which was something I didn't really want to hear, even the ones about love gone bad, didn't comfort me.

Then I found myself singing them to heaven. All my life, faith was as natural as breathing. I knew I could talk to Jesus no matter what I was going through, because of everything He went through.

One of the songs that gave me comfort,  was Gloria Estefan, I See Your Smile, especially this part.
'Cause I know I have to do this
Would you hold my hand right through it
'Cause when I close my eyes
I still can see your smile
It's bright enough to light my life
Out of my darkest hour
Please believe it's true
When I tell you I love you 

It was written about the relationship she had with her husband in the beginning, but for me, it reminds of my relationship with my husband as much as it did with the one I had to Jesus. 

I wasn't alone when I talked to Him. I could feel His smile and find peace in my soul, so I knew I was loved. He was the Light in my darkest hours because He filled me with hope.

No easy days, but He made it easier. No quick miracles, but He gave me strength and patience until mini-miracles turned into big ones.

He guided me to where I could learn about what my husband was going through, and what I went through. I gained the power to change by learning what was possible and how to find peace with what was impossible to change. Songs like this got us through all these years....we met in 1982.



Find something that gives you comfort, even if you have to tweak the meaning for what you need out of it.

Remember, it is your life....get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from PTSD

Gloria Estefan, I See Your Smile
I, get a little tongue twisted
Every time I talk to you
When I see you
And I'm so glad that you just missed it
The way I stared
To memorize your face.
To kiss you in my mind
Love you all the time
'Cause when I close my eyes
I still can see your smile
It's bright enought to light my life
Out of my darkest hour
Please believe it's true
When I tell you I love you
I've taken too many chances
Searching for the truth in love
That's in my heart
Tell me if I made the wrong advances
Tell me if I've made you feel ashamed
'Cause I know I have to do this
Would you hold my hand right through it
'Cause when I close my eyes
I still can see your smile
It's bright enough to light my life
Out of my darkest hour
Please believe it's true
When I tell you I love you
I had to let you know
Just what would happen
Yes, I had to let
You know the truth
I know I've got to do this
Would you hold my
Hand right through it
Would you
'Cause when I close my eyes
I still can see your smile
It's bright enough to light my life
Out of my darkest hour
'Cause when I close my eyes
I still can see your smile
It's bright enough to light my life
Out of my darkest hour
I know this
Is true when I
Tell you I love you

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Jon Secada / Miguel Morejon
I See Your Smile lyrics © Foreign Imported Prod. And Publishing 

"Can you imagine how I feel today?"

PTSD Patrol Kathie Costos June 15, 2021 "Can you imagine how I feel today?" is a question no one would have to ask if they talk...

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It is your life, get in and drive it