Showing posts with label flashback. Show all posts
Showing posts with label flashback. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 6, 2021

PTSD is more than a feeling

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 6, 2021

PTSD is so much more than a feeling. It is life changing from a life threatening event. It would be a great start in the right direction if people understood that, then maybe, they'd stop telling people to "just get over it" as if they don't want to. It doesn't matter to them if "it" happened to them ten, twenty, thirty or forty years ago. If they had a flashback, it just happened to them all over again. I don't know anyone who wouldn't pay to go back to to the way they were before or to the life they had before. I don't know anyone who wants to just stay the way they are. The problem is, they have no idea, while it is impossible to go back to the way they were before, it is very possible to have a better life.

It is like losing someone you knew very well. It is like losing yourself. That is why today the featured video is Boston, More Than A Feeling.

I think the song resonates so much because everyone has lost someone in their lives. Some of us have also lost ourselves!
Be the help they need to heal and if you are healing, from more than a feeling, then celebrate! The second song from Boston is, Don't Look Back. You are not going that way anymore and you're too busy looking forward to a happier life!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD


More Than A Feeling
Boston 

I looked out this morning and the sun was gone
Turned on some music to start my day
I lost myself in a familiar song
I closed my eyes and I slipped away
It's more than a feeling (more than a feeling)
When I hear that old song they used to play (more than a feeling)
And I begin dreaming (more than a feeling)
'Til I see Marianne walk away
I see my Marianne walkin' away
So many people have come and gone
Their faces fade as the years go by
Yet I still recall as I wander on
As clear as the sun in the summer sky
It's more than a feeling (more than a feeling)
When I hear that old song they used to play (more than a feeling)
And I begin dreaming (more than a feeling)
'Til I see Marianne walk away
I see my Marianne walkin' away
When I'm tired and thinking cold
I hide in my music, forget the day
And dream of a girl I used to know
I closed my eyes and she slipped away
She slipped away
It's more than a feeling (more than a feeling)
When I hear that old song they used to play (more than a feeling)
And I begin dreaming (more than a feeling)
'Til I see Marianne walk away

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Tom Scholz
More Than a Feeling lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group 

And when you heal...don't look back, you're not going that way anymore!
Don’t Look Back
Boston

Don't look back, ooh, a new day is breakin'
It's been too long since I felt this way
I don't mind, ooh, where I get taken
The road is callin', today is the day
I can see, it took so long just to realize
I'm much too strong not to compromise
Now I see what I am is holding me down
I'll turn it around
Oh, yes, I will
I finally see the dawn arrivin'
I see beyond the road I'm drivin'
It's a bright horizon, ooh, and I'm awaken
I see myself in a brand new way
The sun is shinin', ooh, the clouds are breakin'
'Cause I can't lose now, there's no game to play
I can tell there's no more time left to criticize
I've seen what I could not recognize
Everything in my life was leading me on
But I can be strong
Oh, yes I can
I finally see the dawn arrivin'
I see beyond the road I'm drivin'
Ooh, far away, I'm left behind, left behind
Oh, the sun is shining
And I'm on that road
Don't look back, ooh, a new day is breakin'
It's been so long since I felt this way
I don't mind, ooh, where I get taken
The road is callin', today is the day
I can see, it took so long just to realize
I'm much too strong not to compromise
Now I see what I am is holding me down
I'll turn it around
Oh, yes I will
I finally see the dawn arrivin' 
I see beyond the road I'm drivin'
I'm far away and left behind
Don't look back
Don't look back
Don't look back
Don't look back

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Scholz Tom
Don’t Look Back lyrics © Pure Songs, Hideaway Hits

Monday, March 15, 2021

Sunday will never be the same

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 15, 2021

Has your memory played tricks on you? Did you ever remember something that wasn't true, or at least not entirely true?

This morning an example of that happened to me. Usually I pick out the music for the featured video during the day depending on what the message is, if I already thought of it. Sometimes I'll hear a song on the radio and it changes my mood, or takes me back to a different time in my life. Other times, like this morning, a song will pop into my head. An old song I hadn't heard in a long time popped in and I was happy thinking about it. The beat was uplifting and I thought great day to feature it. That was until I looked up the lyrics to Spanky and Our Gang Sunday Will Never Be The Same. It wasn't a happy song.

Sunday Will Never Be the Same
Spanky and Our Gang

I remember Sunday morning
I would meet him at the park
We'd walk together hand in hand
Till it was almost dark
Now I wake up Sunday morning
Walk along the lane to find
Nobody waiting for me
Sunday's just another day
Sunday will never be the same
(Sunday will never be the same)
I lost my baby's heart
I must be back again
Sunny afternoons that made me feel so warm inside
Have turned as cold and gray as ashes
As I feel the embers die
No longer can I walk these paths for they have changed
I must be home the sun is gone and I think it's gonna rain
I remember children
Feeding flocks of pigeons
I remember sunshine and you were mine
Sunday will never be the same
Sunday will never be the same
Sunday will never be the same

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Terry Cashman / Gene Pistilli
Sunday Will Never Be the Same lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group 

That came out in 1967. I was really young. I've heard it a lot over the years, but it has been a long time. My mind focused on the music, which is really upbeat, but since the lyrics were forgotten, I didn't remember the sadness. So why is it so hard to remember things the other way around?

Sometimes when you remember the event or events that caused PTSD, all you can remember is the horrible parts. There were other parts that were a lot better, but the strongest memory is the one that took hold. You had some good things happen too. You could have had someone save you. Someone may have come to help you afterwards. More than likely, people you know showed up to see if they could help, to visit you, call you, or offer comfort in whatever way they could. The memories are all still there and you can make the better memories stronger than the bad ones.

Our minds also play tricks because every part of us is involved in the event. Our mind, body and spirit are all hit. Every sense we have absorbs whatever is there just as our eyes take it all in, even though we don't notice what is being recorded in our brains. That is why a smell can be a trigger of the event, or a sound (like with me) and even an anniversary date we do not consciously remember pops up and we are not connecting "then" to our life now.

You need to find some peace with the bad by going back to look at the good that came with it. Keep focusing on that. Those memories will get stronger than the bad ones.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Wednesday, October 14, 2020

PTSD Patrol getting past "Thunderdome"

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
October 14, 2020




"Out of the ruins...Out from the wreckage...All we want is life beyond the Thunderdome...Looking for something...We can rely on...There's got to be something better out there...Love and compassion" words from the movie Thunderdome. 

There are so many different parts of We Don't Need Another Hero that apply to recovering from PTSD. 

After surviving over 10 times, the worst for me was after my ex-husband tried to kill me, then stalked me for a long time. The sound of the muscle cars he always drove caused flashbacks and all that came with it. For me, that was the thunder in my dome...my head.

I never knew what kind of car he would be driving because he was an auto body mechanic. He would use customer's cars so that I wouldn't be able to call the police with the plate number of his car. I had a restraining order but it didn't do any good.

Many years after I move from Massachusetts to Florida, it still happened, even though it was "irrational" that was my reality. That didn't end until I got a copy of his obituary in the mail. That ended my dread of muscle cars because I knew he would never be able to hurt me again.

Your flashbacks may be irrational too but there are understandable irrationalities.

What I would like you to understand is that even within all those years of that terror, I was relatively happy. I worked to help other people understand what PTSD was and what it did, as well as try to help them know that they could overcome it, even if they could not cure it.

PTSD doesn't have to consume you or rob you of living a happier life. If I could do it, you can get out from under your "Thunderdome" too!

#BreakTheSilence and #TackBackYourLife from #PTSD


We Don’t Need Another Hero
Tina Turner

Out of the ruins 
Out from the wreckage
Can't make the same mistake this time
We are the children 
The last generation (the last generation)
We are the ones they left behind
And I wonder when we are ever gonna change it
Living under the fear 'til nothing else remains
We don't need another hero 
We don't need to know the way home 
All we want is life beyond the Thunderdome
Looking for something 
We can rely on 
There's got to be something better out there
Love and compassion 
Their day is coming (coming)
All else are castles built in the air
And I wonder when we are ever gonna change it 
Living under the fear 'til nothing else remains
All the children say
We don't need another hero 
We don't need to know the way home 
All we want is life beyond the Thunderdome
So what do we do with our lives?
We leave only a mark 
Will our story shine like a light
Or end in the dark?
Is it all or nothing?
We don't need another hero 
We don't need to know the way home 
All we want is life beyond the Thunderdome
All the children say
We don't need another hero (we don't need another hero)
We don't need to know the way home 
All we want is life beyond the Thunderdome

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Graham Hamilton Lyle / Terry Britten
We Don’t Need Another Hero lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., BMG Rights Management 

Calling all angels

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It is your life, get in and drive it