Showing posts with label healing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label healing. Show all posts

Saturday, March 13, 2021

Glorious Victorious

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 13, 2021

What does it feel like since you survived whatever caused PTSD in you? Does it feel as if hope is being sucked right out of you? That you are surrounded by misery and suffering? Are you wondering why the hell you got up out of bed this morning? Or does it feel like you are just sucking up all the hope you can find to live like a survivor?

Isn't it time that you decided that a happier life is so much better than a sucky one?

You are the only one who can decide for yourself. No one else has the power to control what you are willing to do with the rest of your life. Everything you need to heal is already inside of you. All the qualities you had are still there. All the things that made you smile, feel joy and happiness are still there.

That is why there are two featured videos today. Glorious by Macklemore and One Little Victory by Rush. You can discover how glorious it is to be victorious. After all, that is exactly what you are. You are victorious over whatever caused PTSD. You walked away. It did not destroy you. Why let it destroy you now?

Make the choice to heal and be happy with the rest of your life. Learn what PTSD is and what it is doing so you can also learn how much power you do have over it.


Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD 

GLORIOUS
MACKLEMORE FEAT SKYLAR GREY
(OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO)

You know I'm back like I never left
Another sprint, another step
Another day, another breath
Been chasing dreams, but I never slept
I got a new attitude and a lease on life
And some peace of mind
Seek and I find I can sleep when I die
Wanna piece of the pie, grab the keys to the ride
And shit I'm straight
I'm on my wave, I'm on my wave
Get out my wake, I'm running late, what can I say?
I heard you die twice, once when they bury you in the grave
And the second time is the last time that somebody mentions your name
So when I leave here on this earth, did I take more than I gave?
Did I look out for the people or did I do it all for fame?
Legend it's exodus searching for euphoria
Trudging through the mud to find the present, no ignoring us
Got 20, 000 deep off in the street like we some warriors
My mama told me never bow your head, woo!
I feel glorious, glorious
Got a chance to start again
I was born for this, born for this
It's who I am, how could I forget?
I made it through the darkest part of the night
And now I see the sunrise
Now I feel glorious, glorious
I feel glorious, glorious
I'm feeling glorious
The crib looking Victorian (oh yes it is)
You know that we been going in
Since we hopped out that Delorean (Delorean, yeah we win)
En garde, things are just things
They don't make you who you are
Can't pack up a U-Haul and take it with you when you're gone
We posted on the porch, my family's glasses to the stars
My grandma smiling down on me like woo, that boy got bars
Okay, okay, yes I do
I said amen and hallelujah, let me testify too
Another morning, a morning, don't let self get in my way
I got my breath, I got my faith and I remember why I came
I feel glorious, glorious
Got a chance to start again
I was born for this, born for this
It's who I am, how could I forget?
I made it through the darkest part of the night
And now I see the sunrise
Now I feel glorious, glorious
I feel glorious, glorious
We gon' be alright, put that on my life
When I open my eyes, hope I see you shine
We're planting a flag they don't understand
The world is up for grabs
We gon' be alright, put that on my life
When I open my eyes, hope I see you shine
We're planting a flag they don't understand
The world is up for grabs
I feel glorious, glorious
Got a chance to start again
I was born for this, born for this
It's who I am, how could I forget?
I made it through the darkest part of the night
And now I see the sunrise
Now I feel glorious, glorious
I feel glorious, glorious

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Kelly Claude / Guetta David / Tuinfort Giorgio H / Hafermann Holly B Glorious lyrics © Sony/atv Songs Llc, What A Publishing Limited, What A Publishing Ltd, Hipgnosis Songs Fund Limited


One Little Victory
Rush 

A certain measure of innocence
Willing to appear naive
A certain degree of imagination
A measure of make-believe
A certain degree of surrender
To the forces of light and heat
A shot of satisfaction
In a willingness to risk defeat
Celebrate the moment
As it turns into one more
Another chance at victory
Another chance to score
The measure of the moment
In a difference of degree
Just one little victory
A spirit breaking free
One little victory
The greatest act can be
One little victory
A certain measure of righteousness
A certain amount of force
A certain degree of determination
Daring on a different course
A certain amount of resistance
To the forces of the light and love
A certain measure of tolerance
A willingness to rise above
One little victory
One little victory
One little victory
One little victory
Celebrate the moment
As it turns into one more
Another chance at victory
Another chance to score
The measure of the moment
In a difference of degree
Just one little victory
A spirit breaking free
The greatest act can be
One little victory
The greatest act can be
One little victory
One little victory
One little victory
One little victory
One little victory
Just one little victory
Just one little victory
One little victory
One little victory

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Lee / Peart / Lifeson
One Little Victory lyrics © Ole Core Music Publishing, Anthem Core Music Publishing 
#gloriousvictorious

Friday, March 12, 2021

coming out of the dark into healing

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 12, 2021

When you are suffering it can feel like a lonely place and you are surrounded by darkness. It sucks to get up in the morning when you know there will be yet another day of the same hell you had the day before and the day before that. 

When you know that relief is coming, the loneliness lifts and the darkness fades. Most Americans know what that feels like after this last horrible year dealing with the pandemic and all that came with it. Relief is coming and it won't be so lonely because families know they will be able to see people they care about very soon. All the darkness brought on by hopelessness started to fade because what we hoped for, has begun.

Coming out of the dark
I finally see the light now
And it's shining on me
Gloria Estefan

I listened to the President last night and just now, reassure the people they have reason to feel as if they are coming out of the dark. He knows what pain is like, what broken hearts are like and what it is like to lose hope. But above all, he knows what it feels like when the suffering is coming to an end and we begin again.

The people working in hospitals know that things are about to turn around. All they saw before this was a never ending cycle of death and ambivalence. When the new treatments coming, they know they can save lives and there will be fewer people with their lives on the line. That level of stress on them has been almost unbearable, but someone they managed to go to work everyday for the sake of others. PTSD and depression rates went up for them. A worldwide effort put together 65 studies on healthcare workers during the pandemic and found the pandemic caused depression 21.7%, anxiety at 22.1% and PTSD at 21.5%. 

They understand what it is like for you too. Sadly more and more people understand what living with PTSD is like. The blessing is, there are more people to help them find hope now than ever before.

Gloria Estefan knows what it is like too. She knows what being a survivor is and that is why the song Coming Out Of The Dark is so powerful.

'Mayhem': Gloria Estefan remembers the 1990 bus accident that broke her back (USA Today)
Multi-Grammy winner Gloria Estefan is reliving the horror of a collision that left her temporarily unable to walk and her miraculous recovery for her new talk show, "Red Table Talk: The Estefans."

Wednesday's episode of the Facebook Watch series – which Estefan hosts with her daughter, Emily, and niece, Univision host Lili Estefan – mentally transports the "Rhythm Is Gonna Get You" singer to a Pennsylvania highway in March 1990, en route to New York. Her husband, producer/musician Emilio, and their son Nayib were also on board.

Estefan, 63, was napping when an 18-wheeler rear-ended her tour bus, which she says "felt like an explosion," and threw her to the floor.

"I am looking around, and it is mayhem," she recalls. "Emilio is over me, wild-eyed, screaming, 'Are you OK?' He's covered in blood."


I use this song a lot because if people know that the worst times are coming to an end and there is reason to know that their hope was not wasted. It is the way I felt last night and today I wanted to share the power of this song with you. If you are tired of hearing it, forgive me but I'll never be tired of sharing it.

I came out of the dark many times and so can you!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD


Coming Out Of The Dark
Gloria Estefan

Why be afraid if I'm not alone?
Though life is never easy
The rest in unknown
And up to now for me it's been
Hands against stone
Spent each and every moment
Searching for what to believe
Coming out of the dark
I finally see the light now
And it's shining on me
Coming out of the dark
I know the love that saved me
You're sharing with me
Starting again is part of the plan
And I'll be so much stronger
Holding your hand
Step by step, I'll make it through
I know I can
I may not make it easier
But I have felt you
Near all the way
Coming out of the dark
I finally see the light now
And it's shining on me
(I see the light)
(I see the light)
I see the light (I see the light)
Coming out of the dark
I know the love that saved me
You're sharing with me
Ever (I stand on the rock)
I stand on the rock of your love
(Forever) ever
(And ever) and ever
Can't nobody stop me, watch me
(Forever) ever
(And ever) and ever
Stand on the rock
Of your love is all it takes
No matter what we face
Coming out of the dark
I see the light
I feel your love shining on me (shining)
(Shining) Yeah, shining on me (shining)
I know the love that saved me
You're sharing
You're sharing with me (I see the light)
Sharing with me (I see the light)
Sharing with me (I see the light)
Sharing with me (coming out of the dark)
I cannot be in the dark
Making it into the light, yeah
Your love's shining on me (shining)
Shining on me (I see the light)
Shining on me (I see the light)
(Shining, I see the light)
(Coming out of the dark)
I see the light
I see the light (I see the light)
(I see the light)
Shining, shining on me
(Shining, shining)
I didn't think that I could take it (shining)
But your love helped me to make it (coming out of the dark)
Coming out of the dark
I see the light now
Yes, I see the light
(Shining) (I see the light)
(Shining) (I see the light)
(Shining) (I see the light)

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Gloria M. Estefan / Jon Secada / Emilio Estefan Jr.
Coming Out of the Dark lyrics © Foreign Imported Prod. And Publishing 

And the one I did for veterans.

Thursday, March 11, 2021

When we grieve, we heal

PTSD Patrol

Kathie Costos
March 11, 2021 

A year ago, our lives changed. In the last year we have lost over 520,000 people. Almost 29 million citizens have been diagnosed with COVID-19 according to the CDC. Millions have lost their jobs. Millions of people have had to seek out food distribution locations to be able to eat. The thing is, we may never know the true numbers of people who have suffered significant mental health conditions.

The UK has been doing research on the mental health of hospital workers.
The 'Frontline-COVID study', published today in the peer-reviewed European Journal of Psychotraumatology, surveyed 1,194 HSCWs, who worked in UK hospitals, nursing or care homes and other community settings, to identify and compare the rates of mental health disorder across different job roles and places of work.

The research, carried out just after the UK's first wave of COVID between 27 May and 23 July, 2020, found that:
58% of HSCWs met the threshold for any mental health disorder
22% met criteria for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
47% had clinically significant anxiety
47% had depression.

With so many months from then to now, it is easy to understand that the numbers are higher and even easier to understand that the numbers here in the US are much higher.

Health care workers facing a mental health crisis, 60 Minutes
Nurses, doctors and others on the frontlines of the pandemic are facing a health crisis of their own, many feeling depressed, some considering therapy. Lowery spoke with health care workers across the country, including in Georgia's rural northeast, where one hospital is still grappling with the deadliest wave of COVID-19 they've ever seen.

Erine Raybon-Rojas, a critical care doctor at Northeast Georgia Medical Center, said her workload is still more than double what it was pre-pandemic -- with no relief in sight.

"Have there been moments that have felt like you're reaching a breaking point or have been difficult – where you have been overwhelmed?" Lowery asked Raybon-Rojas in an excerpt from the story that aired on "CBS This Morning."

"Every day," Raybon-Rojas said. "It's not uncommon for us to take a minute to go cry, I mean, I cry in my office all the time… Everything you do is about getting people better. And a lot of times it just doesn't happen. The lack of being able to help someone in their most vulnerable moments is the injury. The fact that it happens over and over and over again is what I think really causes the-- the damage."

Most of us know what it is like to lose someone we love. It feels like a part of us has been taken away. Some people may give you time to grieve but then end up telling you to get over it. They don't know what you are going through and they do not deserve the right to tell you when it is time to stop grieving. There is no timeline on healing. Everyone does it in their own time, and some people, never really get over the loss, but they do recover to a certain point. 

Do not fight your feelings. Don't judge yourself by thinking you should be stronger than what your heart is telling you that you need to do. If you need to cry, then cry. Honor your feelings. Talk about what you need to talk about. If it is how much you miss them, then do it. If you need to talk about how much you loved them or how much they suffered, then do it. If you don't have someone to talk to, then write it down, or find a support group. The more you honor your feelings, the more room you have inside your heart to let in warmer memories of them.

If you are a healthcare worker, you have been through things most of us will never understand. You have been a blessing. You were there to help save those you could. You were also there to comfort those you could not save, especially when their families could not be there in their final moments. You need to honor your feelings too. If you are angry because too many people did not take this seriously and only thought about themselves, then honor your anger too. You have no control over what other people do but only about what you do with your own life.



Hopefully, this time next year, we'll all be back to whatever normal was to us and we will remember all the goodness, all those we loved and those we miss, with warmer memories to comfort us.

Today the featured song is Peter Gabriel I Grieve because he put into words what most people cannot find to express their own pain. I hope it comforts you and lets you know that it is OK to grieve.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

I did this one in 2008 for National Guard troops with the song I Grieve.


I Grieve
Peter Gabriel

It was only one hour ago
It was all so different then
Nothing yet has really sunk in
Looks like it always did
This flesh and bone
Is just the way that we are tied in
But there's no one home
I grieve, for you
You leave, me
So hard to move on
Still loving what's gone
They say life carries on
Carries on and on and on and on
The news that truly shocks
Is the empty, empty page
While the final rattle rocks
It's empty, empty cage
And I can't handle this
I grieve, for you
You leave, me
Let it out and move on
Missing what's gone
They say life carries on
They say life carries on and on and on
Life carries on in the people I meet
In everyone that's out on the street
In all the dogs and cats
In the flies and rats
In the rot and the rust
In the ashes and the dust
Life carries on and on and on and on
Life carries on and on and on
Life carries on and on and on and on
Life carries on and on and on
Just the car that we ride in
The home we reside in
The face that we hide in
The way we are tied in
As life carries on and on and on and on
Life carries on and on and on
Did I dream this belief
Or did I believe this dream?
Now I will find relief
I grieve

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Peter Gabriel
I Grieve lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC 

Wednesday, March 10, 2021

find out how to #TakeBackYourLife from it

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 10, 2021

"Darling, somebody still loves you!" Isn't that such a nice thing to hear? If you have been abandoned by everyone you knew, knowing that, can make all the difference in your life. That is what you can find in a PTSD support group. You can find a professional who also cares about you by seeking out a trauma specialist.  PTSD is not the same as other illnesses because this one was caused by an outside force that hit you. When you read about PTSD from the MAYO Clinic, you can see how complicated it can be, but you can also find out how to #TakeBackYourLife from it.

Today the featured video is James Taylor, Her Town Too. It is about how people can be cruel and gossip about things they know nothing about. That happens all the time, but it happens a lot more when people change due to PTSD. It is hard for people to understand what it is like unless they are a survivor too. The thing is, you cannot control them. All you can do is stop them from hurting you even more. Shut them out of your life. The only power they have over you is what you allow them to have.

The best revenge is to heal and be happier! They'll notice the change in you and then it will be more about how happy you seem to be, how great you look and how they want to know how you did it...so they can change their own miserable outlook on life.

You get that from support groups, where someone cares about you and helps you up instead of making fun of the fact you fell apart. Where people will not just be glad to see the change in you, but grateful they had a chance to help you become happier. Then you can help pick others up too and be thrilled you helped change someone's life because you knew what they felt like...when it was your life too.

Somebody still love you!
Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD


Her Town Too
James Taylor 

She's been afraid to go out
She's afraid of the knock on her door
There's always a shade of a doubt
She can never be sure
Who comes to call
Maybe the friend of a friend of a friend
Anyone at all
Anything but nothing again
It used to be her town
It used to be her town, too
It used to be her town
It used to be her town, too
Seems like even her old girlfriends
Might be talking her down
She's got her name on the grapevine
Running up and down
The telephone line
Talking 'bout
Someone said, someone said
Something 'bout, something else
Someone might have said about her
She always figured that they were her friends
But maybe they can live without her
It used to be her town
It used to be her town, too
It used to be her town
It used to be her town, too
Well, people got used to seeing them both together
But now he's gone and life goes on
Nothing lasts forever, oh no
She gets the house and the garden
He gets the boys in the band
Some of them his friends
Some of them her friends
Some of them understand
Lord knows that this is just a small town city
Yes, and everyone can see you fall
It's got nothing to do with pity
I just wanted to give you a call
It used to be your town
It used to be my town, too
You never know 'till it all falls down
Somebody loves you
Somebody loves you
Darling, somebody still loves you
I can still remember
When it used to be her town, too
It used to be your town
It used to be my town, too

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: John David Souther / James Vernon Taylor / Waddy Wachtell
Her Town Too lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC 

Tuesday, March 9, 2021

healing with a smile on your face

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 9, 2021

What is life like when you are healing? BEAUTIFUL! If you know anything about me, you know there are a lot of things that really should make my life suck...but it doesn't. I am usually happy, no matter what crap comes my way. 

For example, today I should have gotten up out of bed in a very bad mood. I fell asleep later than normal and woke up earlier than normal. I was tired but in a good mood. I did my usual stuff, got online and shared some things that were uplifting because when I saw them, they made me feel good inside. I hoped they would make my friends feel better since most of them are going through hard times too.

If you have peace, you are half way there to happiness. If you've already arrived at happiness, then that does not mean you'll always be cheerful but it will take a hell of a lot to get you angry. It also means, you'll get over it faster than you did before.

It is an odd thing when you survived your life being on the line, how deal with stress changes after you start healing. It is almost as if you have a whole new level of what you consider important and what you find not worth getting your blood pressure up for. Don't get me wrong, because I am always confessing that I have a bad temper but have learned to control it. It is a lot of work, but I am happier without exploding.

You've got to get up every morning
With a smile in your face
And show the world all the love in your heart
Then people gonna treat you better
You're gonna find, yes you will
That you're beautiful, as you feel

That is why today the featured video is Carole King, Beautiful! I like being happy and I like helping others to feel better about their day too. Most of the time they appreciate it. Sometimes there are cranky people who love being miserable and making everyone else miserable too. Don't let them get you down because while you feel better helping others feel good, they only feel better about making others feel worse.


Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it~
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Beautiful
Carole King 

You've got to get up every morning
With a smile in your face
And show the world all the love in your heart
Then people gonna treat you better
You're gonna find, yes you will
That you're beautiful, as you feel
Waiting at the station with a workday wind a-blowing
I've got nothing to do but watch the passers-by
Mirrored in their faces I see frustration growing
And they don't see it showing, why do I?
You've got to get up every morning
With a smile in your face
And show the world all the love in your heart
Then people gonna treat you better
You're gonna find, yes you will
That you're beautiful as you feel
I have often asked myself the reason for sadness
In a world where tears are just a lullaby
If there's any answer, maybe love can end the madness
Maybe not, oh, but we can only try
You've got to get up every morning
With a smile in your face
And show the world all the love in your heart
Then people gonna treat you better
You're gonna find, yes you will
That you're beautiful
You're beautiful
You're beautiful as you feel

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Carole King
Beautiful lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC 

Monday, March 8, 2021

rethink fighting PTSD alone

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 8, 2021 

If you are trying to get through what PTSD is doing to you alone, then consider this.

In the military, they are called Battle Buddy.
If hundreds of soldiers were talked out of that darkness because their squadmate became their best friend, I’ll forever argue its merit, no matter how goofy it sounds calling another grown-ass warfighter my “battle buddy.”
5 reasons why the battle buddy system was secretly brilliant, We Are The Mighty, Eric Milzarski

With the Department of Veterans Affairs, they are called Peer Support.
“When I began peer support, I was quiet, withdrawn, extremely habitual,” she recalled. “I wasn’t engaged in the community. But they told me someone is in there and we are going to give you the skills to bring her back.
“The beautiful thing about peer support is that there is no pressure. They allowed me to play the game, using old habits to mask and cope. It allowed me to know other Veterans are struggling. Peer support allowed me to put that on a shelf and be a human being again.”
Peer support specialists help Veterans in crisis VAntage Point, Coast Guard Veteran Lavinia Jackson
If you join any support group, someone is there for you. If not then you may call them your friend, spouse, family member, or anyone else who is there for you to turn to.

Why would you ever think you should fight this on your own? So many found strength leaning on someone when they needed it, then being there when someone else did!
Alcoholics Anonymous, gives people a sponsor. Support groups all have someone there to help others. This is all there because it works. If you are a veteran and you get arrested, most states have Veterans Courts, where someone is assigned to help you get what you need to have another chance to recover. Some prisons have units where they put veterans all in together because it is understood that most of the time, the trouble started with putting their lives on the line and they have support with them. 

This is why the featured video today is Melissa Manchester, Just You And I!

Now if you think you should still fight to heal PTSD alone, you might way to rethink that one because it is probably not working for you.  Time to find out what will!
Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from PTSD

Just You And I
Melissa Manchester 

When your heroes go up in a puff,
And there's not enough to hang on to
And the ones you would count on to call
They all fall down all around you
Then you've got to believe there's more
It is the reason we're put here for
It's just you and I
When the legend's over - and we have just begun
We can look to each other to see us through
Just you and I
When a miracle's long overdue
And there's no one who's gonna come to guide you
So you keep looking up to the sky - wondering why
The clouds won't hide you
At the times when you're most afraid
That is the reason why dreams are made
It's just you and I
When the legend's over - and we have just begun
We can look to each other to see us through
Just you and I

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Carole Bayer Sager / Melissa Manchester / Melissa Toni Manchester
Just You and I lyrics © BMG Rights Management, Carlin America Inc 

A newly reimagined recording of Melissa’s early hit, “Just You And I”
Melissa Manchester’s latest single, a newly reimagined recording of her early hit, “JUST YOU AND I” is a Labor Day Week tribute to the essential workers and first responders who are getting us all through the coronavirus crisis. The Grammy Award winning singer/songwriter is joined by legendary saxophonist Gerald Albright and the young artists from Citrus College in this updated version of the 1976 Billboard charted classic.

September 8th, 2020 

One of my old videos from 2006....

Friday, March 5, 2021

Even if nobody else sings along

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 5, 2021 

I've been singing the same tune for almost 4 decades. The beat changes as the mood changes, but the message has not changed. Same message even though too many did not sing along with me. Sorry but I refused to sell out a long time ago, even though joining the groups more interested in raising money would have made it easier on me, it wouldn't have been easier on my soul.

One of the groups who are all about raising suicide awareness contacted me to promote their business. Yes, their "business" as if making money is all that matters to them. Actually that is what they have been all about. Changing the conversation from the doom and gloom has not happened and this is the result. This is from Tampa Bay Times.
The VA noted that data continue to show 132 Americans, including 20 service members and veterans, die on average each day by suicide. And (former) VA Secretary Robert Wilkie stated: “Just as there is no single cause of suicide, no single organization can end veteran suicide alone. 
That is the result of letting people know they are killing themselves. If you Google "suicide awareness" you end up with over 9 million results and most of them are tied to veterans. What about the other Americans who also need help? We've seen that suicide awareness does not work for currently military members any more than it works for veterans. How could anyone ever think it would work on anyone? It can't and it won't but after decades of pretending it will make a difference to anyone, they continue to sing the same tone deaf tune!

I needed something to make myself feel better this morning and then as I started to search for a music video, the incredible voice of Cass Elliot popped into my head. I found the video and as I listened to it, especially the part where she sings, "You're gonna be nowhere,The loneliest kind of lonely,It may be rough going,Just to do your thing is the hardest thing to do, But you gotta make your own kind of music" I felt a lot better.

If you are doing this work for the right reasons and the right way, you are probably lonely too. There is nothing glamorous about it and will not make you wealthy but it does fill your soul. Doing the right thing for the right reasons is never easy especially when you know you can change their world for the better.



When I read a suicide report, or hear about someone who never found what they needed to heal, my confidence gets shattered. I knew I could have made a difference but when I was not given the chance, it makes me depressed. I keep wondering how much more can I do so they find me? How do I compete with people making money off their heartache so they have the ability to reach more and get more money while more are killing themselves?

Yes, I was ripping myself apart until this song got me to stop and think about how it isn't my problem they are getting the attention. One day they will have to answer for what harm they have actually done. All I can do is do my best to get the message out there and help them know they can heal. To understand a happier life is waiting for them if they want it.

So, today this featured video is for us...the ones who are dedicated to changing the conversation from doom and gloom to #BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD because they can!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

Make Your Own Kind Of Music 
Cass Elliot, also known as Mama Cass

Nobody can tell you
There's only one song worth singing
They may try and sell you
Cause it hangs them up
To see someone like you
But you gotta make your own kind of music
Sing your own special song
Make your own kind of music
Even if nobody else sings along
You're gonna be nowhere
The loneliest kind of lonely
It may be rough going
Just to do your thing is the hardest thing to do
But you gotta make your own kind of music
Sing your own special song
Make your own kind of music
Even if nobody else sings along
So if you cannot take my hand
And if you must be going, I will understand
You gotta make your own kind of music
Sing your own special song
Make your own kind of music
Even if nobody else sings along
You gotta make your own kind of music
Sing your own kind of song 
Make your own kind of music
Even if nobody else sings along
You gotta make your own kind of music 
Sing your own kind of song
Make your own kind of music
Even if nobody else sings along
No no no no
Even if nobody else sings along
If nobody else sings along

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Barry Mann / Cynthia Weil
Make Your Own Kind of Music lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

Thursday, March 4, 2021

What will life be like when it is good again?

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 4,2021

Dolly Parton wrote When Life Is Good Again offering hope for when the pandemic is over, and life is good again. When I listen to her beautiful song, I can't help but think it is also what life can be like when you heal PTSD. Too many don't know what it can be good again, and I'm living proof. My husband is living proof. Thousands of others are living proof that life as a survivor of whatever caused PTSD can actually be good again.
No matter how hard people try to understand, they can't if they didn't live with it. I know what the darkness is like and I also know what denial is like.

The PTSD I had in me was different than what my husband was going through. Mine only centered on my ex-husband, even though I had survived a lifetime of events. It stayed with me because first he tired to kill me and then he stalked me for a long time. I know I've told this story hundreds of times, so I'll keep it short. The nightmares and flashbacks, panic attacks and mood swings, paranoia, doubt in myself and sense of self worth suffered but in fleeting moments. All it took was the sound of a muscle car to set it all off. For decades, while I knew all the events I survived changed me. I did not notice that I had PTSD until my daughter pointed it out one day when we were talking about my ex-husband. That was hard to take for me because even as an "expert" and decades invested in helping people heal, I didn't even see it in myself. Just goes to show that people never stop learning. 

The thing is, I also know what it is like when life got good again. I healed. I got into a great relationship with myself so that I was ready to have one with the man I've been married to for over 36 years now. Life does get good again.

His life got good again too, even though he will be working on his mental health for the rest of  his life, it is a much better life than he would have had if he did not seek recovery over suffering.

If you want life to be good again for you as a survivor of whatever cause PTSD in you, then go for it. Work at it and you will have it. Did you know PTSD stops getting worse as soon as you talk about it and then you take power away from it?

Recovery is not perfect and is not a cure for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, but it is healing it the same way all wounds heal. You may end up with some battle scars, but they are only part of your past so you can rejoice in where you arrived!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

When Life Is Good Again
Dolly Parton

When life is good again
I'll be a better friend
A bigger person when
Life is good again
More thoughtful than I've been
I'll be so different then
More in the moment when
Life is good again
I'll open up my heart
And let the whole world in
I'll try to make amends
When life is good again
We've been brought to our knees
We've been so ill at ease
There are no guarantees
But you know life goes on
This too shall pass away
Bring new and different days
We need to change our ways
And right our wrongs
Let's open up our hearts
And let the whole world in
Let's try to make amends
When life is good again
I'll open up my doors again
And hear the message in the wind
Repent of all my sins (Hallelujah)
When life is good again
I'll try to be someone
On which you can depend
A helping hand to lend
Let's open up our eyes
And see what's goin' on
If we're to move along
From where we've been
Let's open up our hearts
And let the love shine in (shine in)
We've all got knees to bend
And we'll just pray 'til then
Ask God's forgiveness when
Life is good again
And it's gonna be good again
(It's gonna be, it's gonna be)
It's gonna be good again
It'll be alright (it'll be alright)
God's the reason for all things
You want rainbows, you get rain
We'll all be forever changed (forever changed)
I'll sail my boat and fly my kite
Walk in the park, go out at night
And hold my loved ones extra tight
When everything is on the mend
I'll even drink with my old friends
Sing and play my mandolin
We'll make it through this long dark night
Darkness fades when faced with light
But everything's gonna be alright
When life is good again

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Dolly Parton / Kent Wells
When Life Is Good Again lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC 

Bonus Video

Wednesday, March 3, 2021

what kind of signs are you giving

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 3, 2021

When you are on the road there are all kinds of signs. If you have PTSD, you may not be aware that you are showing signs to people in your life. There is no clarity about them at all. You may be fine one minute but a trigger sets you off. Someone says the wrong thing and you overreact to it. That rollercoaster ride of emotions is too hard to interpret. You need to do a hell of a lot more than expect them to understand you when you don't understand yourself. Imagine what it would be like if you were driving and there were no road signs at all. Everyone would have to guess and that would be very dangerous.

Leaving people in your life to guess is dangerous too. They will usually get it wrong. You need to make sure they can read the signs you are showing clearly. They don't need to know the details if you don't want to tell them. They just need to know that it isn't about how you feel about them but more about what you have going on within you.

Today the featured video is Neil Diamond, Signs
 

When you are getting help to heal, you start to understand where the mood swings are coming from and are able to control them better. Until then, don't let your silence make it worse for the people in your life. 

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD 
Signs
Words and Music by Neil Diamond

Signs that burn like shooting stars
That pass across the nighttime skies,
They reach out in their mystic language
For us to read between the lines.
Some are born who would defy them,
Others still who would deny them, signs.
Signs like moments hung suspended,
Echoes just beneath the heart
Speak in voices half remembered
And half forgotten play their part.
Signs that come as we lay sleeping
Left behind for our keeping, signs.
Sail along, sail along the reefs and the coves inside your soul.
Sail along, sail along in search of a star that you can hold.
And we journey far to where that star may lead to (lead to).
Signs that whisper in the dreams of sailors
And of river queens of paupers and of men with means,
It all depends on how it reads.
Some are born who never need them,
Others still who never read them, signs.
Sail along, sail along the reefs and the coves inside your soul.
Sail along, sail along in search of a star that you can hold.
And we journey far to where that star may lead to (lead to).
Signs, signs.
Some are born who never need them,
Others still who never read them, signs

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Les Emmerso
Signs lyrics © Sony/atv Acuff Rose Music, Unichappell Music Inc., Sony/atv Melody, Stonebridge Music, Galeneye Music, Sony Atv Music Publishing France, Sony Atv Acuff Rose Music, Stonebridge-music Inc., Sony/atv Melody Obo Aguila Publishing, Unichappell Music Inc Obo Galeneye Music 

Tuesday, March 2, 2021

Just another heart in need of rescue

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 2, 2021

All too often people with PTSD will go from one relationship to another, without ever discovering what went wrong. They end up blaming the other person and move on. The trouble is, they never developed a strong relationship with themselves.

How can you think you can give something to someone else, you are unable to give to yourself? If you have PTSD, there is a rush of good feelings coming to you with the start of something new with someone else. That rush wears off and you are left alone again, just as sad and in even more pain.

Stop! Stop starting something you are not willing to succeed at. Get to know yourself enough to like yourself again and to love whatever is lovable about you. Be happy to be by yourself and then you can be happy being with someone else.

When you heal and you are ready, you'll be able to give the new person in your life, the best parts of you and then it can work. If not, you'll just keep "waiting on love's sweet charity" to make it work.


In case you didn't guess by now, the featured video is Whitesnake Here I Go Again!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Here I Go Again
Whitesnake

I don't know where I'm goin'
But I sure know where I've been
Hanging on the promises in songs of yesterday
An' I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time
Here I go again, here I go again
Tho' I keep searching for an answer
I never seem to find what I'm looking for
Oh Lord, I pray you give me strength to carry on
'Cause I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams
Here I go again on my own
Goin' down the only road I've ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
An' I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time
Just another heart in need of rescue
Waiting on love's sweet charity
An' I'm gonna hold on for the rest of my days
'Cause I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams
And here I go again on my own
Goin' down the only road I've ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
An' I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time
But here I go again, here I go again,
Here I go again, here I go
'Cause I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams
Here I go again on my own
Goin' down the only road I've ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
An' I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time
Here I go again on my own
Goin' down the only road I've ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
'Cause I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams
Here I go again on my own
Goin' down the only road I've ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: David Coverdale / Bernie Marsden
Here I Go Again lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner Chappell Music, Inc 

Wednesday, February 24, 2021

PTSD: last time for their last chance?

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 24, 2021

How many times should you try to get someone you love to get help? How many different ways do you try to explain it, get them to stop denying what you see so clearly, and seek help? How many times do you put up with their mood swings, paranoia, overblown reactions, accusations and general nastiness, before you have had enough? How many times do you take them walking out the door and not knowing if you want them to come back in it again, before you start to think about changing the locks?

When you live with someone with PTSD and they refuse to get help, there are so many questions you have, while feeling lost, as if there is no one who will understand what it is like to be you. You don't want to tell the people you work with. You may be covering it up with your family, making excuses for them not being at family events, calling their boss because they won't go to work or even call in sick. If you have kids, you may be trying to cover it up so they don't end up blaming themselves. You know what that feels like since you have been doing a great job blaming yourself.

So when do you get to your last time for their last chance?

Before you decide anything, you need to be prepared for what comes with your decision. If you give them the choice between getting help or getting out, they may be very open to saving the relationship. They may not be willing to listen, no matter how many times you try to explain it to them, and they may  walk out of your life, or take their own life. It happens both ways.

Isn't it better to do what you can before you have to get to that point? Learn what PTSD is so you understand it for your own sake. Help your kids understand it for their sake. You cannot control what he/she does no matter how hard you try and you cannot predict what their rock bottom will finally be, anymore than you can predict what they will do when they reach it. You can only control what you do.
When PTSD was the worst for us, we had separate lives. I got tired of making excuses for why things were the way they were. In other words, I was tired of living a lie. So I told the truth and did what I wanted to do, went where I wanted to go and let him know he was welcome to come with me or not.

The trick was, not holding a grudge if he didn't want to go. I had a good time and went home happy that I decided to go.

Everyone reaches limits but not everyone has the same outcome. Just understand that you have to make your own choices and so do they. Give them as much as you can and then decide what is right for you. At least when you make an informed decision, you'll understand whatever they choose, has nothing to do with you...it is all about them and what they decide to do for themselves.

The Last Time
Rolling Stones 

Well I told you once and I told you twice
But ya never listen to my advice
You don't try very hard to please me
With what you know it should be easy
Well this could be the last time
This could be the last time
Maybe the last time
I don't know, oh no, oh no
Well, I'm sorry girl but I can't stay
Feelin' like I do today
It's too much pain and too much sorrow
Guess I'll feel the same tomorrow
Well this could be the last time
This could be the last time
Maybe the last time
I don't know, oh no, oh no
Well this could be the last time
This could be the last time
Maybe the last time
I don't know, oh no, oh no
Well I told you once and I told you twice
That someone will have to pay the price
But here's a chance to change your mind
'Cause I'll be gone a long, long time
Well this could be the last time
This could be the last time
Maybe the last time
I don't know, oh no, oh no
Last time baby
To say no more
Baby I don't know
Well I don't know
Well, I don't know
I don't know
Well, I don't know
Well, I don't know
Well, I don't know
Well, I don't know
Well, I don't know
Well, I don't know
Well, I don't know

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Keith Richards / Mick Jagger
The Last Time lyrics © Abkco Music, Inc 

Or do you give them shelter? 

Gimme Shelter
Rolling Stones

Ooh, a storm is threatening
My very life today
If I don't get some shelter
Ooh yeah I'm gonna fade away
War, children
It's just a shot away
It's just a shot away
War, children
It's just a shot away
It's just a shot away
Ooh, see the fire is sweepin'
Our streets today
Burns like a red coal carpet
Mad bull lost its way
War, children
It's just a shot away
It's just a shot away
War, children
It's just a shot away
It's just a shot away
Rape, murder, it's just a shot away
It's just a shot away
Rape, murder, yeah, it's just a shot away
It's just a shot away
Rape, murder, it's just a shot away
It's just a shot away
Mmm, a flood is threatening
My very life today
Gimme, gimme shelter
Or I'm gonna fade away
War, children
It's just a shot away
It's just a shot away
It's just a shot away
It's just a shot away
It's just a shot away
I tell you love, sister
It's just a kiss away
It's just a kiss away
It's just a kiss away
It's just a kiss away
It's just a kiss away
Kiss away, kiss away

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Jagger Mick / Jagger Michael Phillip
Gimme Shelter lyrics © Mirage Music Int. Ltd. C/o Essex Music Int. L 

Remember it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Tuesday, February 23, 2021

I am everyday people, Yahoo!

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 23, 2021

We need a chair dancing song today! Things are so crazy and everyone is bickering with everyone else. It is almost as if they are looking for something to be disagreeable about. Isn't it better to try to see what you have in common, at least for a while?

How many times have you been around someone who is cranky and ended up taking that negative attitude onto your own day? You could be at a cash register and the cashier seems like they want to just bite your head off. You can judge them or understand they are just as human as you are. Maybe they have a hard time in their own personal life, then again, it could be something as simple as a lot of cranky people coming into the store that did.

What do you do? Do you just take the bad mood and let it change the mood you're in, or, do you change the cashier's mood and make it better? 

Having PTSD can put a lot of negative emotions in you and you can end up passing them onto your family. If you see them being miserable, you may say that you don't want to be a burden to them anymore. You may think of taking your own life, but the thing is, that puts a lifetime burden on them. Isn't it better to stay in your life and do what you can in a positive way to be happier and make them happier too?

This is why today the featured video is, Sly and the Family Stone, Everyday People. "We got to live together" so wouldn't it be so much better to be happier about it instead of being miserable?

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Everyday People
Sly and the Family Stone 

Sometimes I'm right and I can be wrong
My own beliefs are in my song
The butcher, the banker, the drummer and then
Makes no difference what group I'm in
I am everyday people, yeah yeah
There is a blue one who can't accept
The green one for living with
A fat one tryin' to be a skinny one
Different strokes for different folks
And so on and so on and scooby dooby dooby
Ooh sha sha
We got to live together
I am no better and neither are you
We're all the same whatever we do
You love me you hate me
You know me and then
You can't figure out the bag I'm in
I am everyday people
There is a long hair
That doesn't like the short hair
For being such a rich one
That will not help the poor one
Different strokes for different folks
And so on and so on scooby dooby dooby
Ooh sha sha
We got to live together
There is a yellow one that won't
Accept the black one
That won't accept the red one
That won't accept the white one
Different strokes for different folks
And so on and so on and
Scooby dooby dooby
Ooh sha sha
I am everyday people

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Sylvester Stewart
Everyday People lyrics © Mijac Music 

Calling all angels

Wounded Times PTSD Patrol Kathie Costos April 15, 2021 Today my heart is broken. Two reports about the suicides in the military and vetera...

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It is your life, get in and drive it